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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 4/21/2014, 9:29am  ET

B) He was wearing brand new clothes, only he broke into the store to get them. Shortly after Frederick police watched the store's surveillance video, they found the man at a bus stop wearing the same clothes he had stolen.

C) A woman in Germany stole thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, but it wasn't too hard to track her down. Police realized she had left her name and address with the store clerk shortly before the robbery when she asked to have a bracelet cleaned.

Winner: A


Oct. 17, 2011

A) A records clerk for an Illinois Sheriff's office accidentally faxed a note saying "Dismiss this case...The guy is the son of one of our deputies" to a local newsroom instead of that village's attorney.The paper investigated and turns out the motorist was not the son of a deputy, and they still had to pay the fine.

B) A fun family outing to a corn maze wound up with a call to police. A Massachusetts family called -9-11 to say it had become lost in the maze on the 7- acre farm. Turns out they were only about 25 feet from the street.

C) A New Mexico man broke into a home, but forgot to take his cell phone with him when he left. The family came home, the man fled, but police later found his cell phone in the home that linked directly to his Facebook profile.

Winner: C


Oct. 10, 2011

A) A New Mexico man impersonating a police officer who picked the wrong driver to pull over, an undercover cop. The man realized the mistake and claimed to be asking for directions. He was arrested.

B) An Arizona man who robbed a bank but stayed too close to the scene of the crime. The bank robber stopped at a nearby restaurant for pizza and beer. Police caught the man before dinner was served.

C) A New York man who pet a drug-sniffing K-9 while carrying a pocketful full of marijuana. The dog picked up the scent and alerted her handler. The man was charged with unlawful possession.

Winner: C


Oct. 2, 2011

A) The chairman of a school committee in Massachusetts says he's sorry and will not perform any more magic tricks to open meetings… after appearing to pull the bra off of a fellow committee member last week to stunned silence.

B) An upstate New York J-V football coach is in trouble for imitating a scene from "Remember the Titans." While on the way home from a loss, the coach made his players lie down on graves. He's been suspended for two weeks without pay.

C) This crook tried to rob the same New Jersey bank three times. First he got 22- hundred dollars, then 14-thousand dollars. The third time was NOT the charm. Police were waiting outside for him with surveillance photos from the first two robberies.

Winner: C


Sept. 26, 2011

A) Firefighters in Macon-Bibb County Georgia got more action than expected after a masked man burst into their Firehouse threatening them with a gun. Not only was it a bad prank, but fellow firefighters were in on it and taped the whole thing.

B)Two men in Rhode Island tried robbing the pizza delivery guy with a BB gun...only to find the delivery guy was carrying more than pizza, he also had a badge, and a gun - he was an undercover cop.

C)One woman thought she was getting a great deal on a new iPad, but when she got home she found that she had just paid $180 for a block of wood with an Apple logo painted on the back.

WINNER: C


Sept. 19, 2011

a) A Florida man who drunkenly walked up to a Taco Bell drive-through window demanding food. After being denied service, the man called police to see if they could help him get his tacos. He was charged with misuse of the 911 system.

B) A Pennsylvania jewel thief who called the store he stole from, offering to help catch the criminal if given a reward. Police later followed a trail of sold stolen items back to the supposed good samaritan. He was arrested.

C) A Brazilian man who tried to smuggle pythons and turtle hatchlings in his pants past customs at Miami International Airport. Airport screeners noticed the strange bumps in the man's cargo pants. The smuggler was fined and given probation.

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