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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/15/2014, 9:17am  ET

B) A New Mexico man who tried to dine-and-dash at an Applebee's, but picked the wrong night to do so. The Restaurant was hosting a law-enforcement fundraiser that night. Officers saw the man try to skip out on his bill and booked him.

C) A District homeless man chose the wrong vehicle to carjack. The man attempted to steal a Secret Service car in front of Sidwell Friends School. The man jumped into the car and tried to drive it away. He was arrested immediately.

Winner: A

Feb. 27, 2012

A) A thief in England tried to steal copper and heroine from an electricity sub- station. He drained the oil inside the transformer's conductors then urinated against it, which caused a huge explosion. Not only did he get burned, he got a year in jail.

B) A Georgia woman was arrested for assault but as she was being taken to jail, she had an unusual request for cops. She asked if she could smoke some crack before being booked. The cop said no and took her to jail.

C) A Wisconsin man went into a Denny's restaurant claiming he was sent by the corporate office to take over as general manager. Then he went into the kitchen to make himself a cheeseburger and fries. Supervisors didn't buy it and called police, who later arrested him.

Winner: A

Feb. 20, 2012

A) A Florida teenager who thought he was stealing a neighbor's marijuana plant, actually swiped a tomato plant instead. The neighbor saw the teen a week later standing by a bus stop and called police. He was charged with unarmed robbery.

B) A British woman who lied to police, claiming burglars had taken her 52 inch flat screen TV out through her window. Police realized the TV was too big to fit through the window. Authorities then found the reported stolen item underneath her bed. She was fined for the fraudulent report.

C) A Montana man instigated a police chase in order to check it off of his bucket list. The man followed a police cruiser for seven blocks until hitting the interstate at speeds up to 100 mph. He was fined one thousand dollars.

Winner: B

Feb. 13, 2012

A) A man who was involved in a minor accident on the Southeast/Southwest Freeway. He got out of his car to assess the damage. Unfortunately for him, he locked his keys in the car, leaving him stuck in the center lane. A tow truck pulled him away from the scene.

B) A New Jersey man who stole a woman's cell phone. The man then used the phone to take a picture of himself. Only problem is the woman had an app that automatically sends all cell phone photos to her personal computer. The woman gave the picture to police and the man was arrested.

C) A Rock Hall, Maryland man who blew up an unwanted gingerbread house with illegal fireworks, burning his wife's wrist in the process. He now faces reckless endangerment charges.

Winner: B

Feb. 6, 2012

A) A Virginia man unsuccessfully tried to rob a bank and then went across the street to visit a family member at Prince William Hospital. An officer working security detail at the hospital recognized the man and he was quickly arrested.

B) A North Carolina woman cut in line at a McDonald's drive-thru and held up service for 20 minutes while she argued with employees. The situation escalated to the point where police used a stun gun to subdue the woman. She has been charged.

C) A Florida man who attempted to rob a bank and chose to wear a pair of shorts on his head as his disguise. Unfortunately for him, his shorts did not cover his face and police were able to identify him.

Winner: C

Jan. 30, 2012

A) A Florida woman called police on her husband after he refused to get rid of an alligator he'd been keeping in their bathtub. MSNBC reports the man was arrested and the gator was released into a lake.

B) An Arizona inmate was charged with trespassing after refusing to leave the jail where he was locked up. He was scheduled for release and when officers showed up to escort him out he told them he wasn't leaving because he couldn't find his wallet. He's still in jail.

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