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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/15/2014, 9:17am  ET

C) This Massachusetts man tried to rob a bank ATM, using a hatchet. Witnesses spotted the man repeatedly hitting the machine with the object, but his attempts were unsuccessful. The man left the scene, but it didn't take police long to catch up with him. He was arrested.

WINNER: A


July 11, 2011

A) This Colorado man who got burned after he tried to mix fireworks in a coffee grinder. The man says he read online about how larger fireworks could be made from smaller ones, but police say the friction from the electric grinder probably caused the fireworks to blow up.

B) A Florida man who probably should have learned how to fly a plane BEFORE he tried to steal it. Police say the man broke into the plane at a flight school, only to crash it into another plane a few minutes later. He wasn't hurt in the crash.

C) This Michigan man who fled a courthouse after his sentencing. Too bad the police officer chasing after him was a marathon runner. The man was quickly caught and taken back to jail.

WINNER: A


June 27, 2011

A) A pastor in Dallas, Texas tried to burglarize one of her church member's homes on Christmas Eve. She spent Christmas Day in jail.

B) A man was arrested in Canada because he threw more than $1,000 in cash and marijuana from his rooftop. Police caught him on the rooftop.

C) In Buffalo New York, a 20-year-old was arrested after he threw a small bag of marijuana out of his moving car. It landed on a police cruiser.

WINNER: C


June 20, 2011

A) A Polish man looking to impress a woman, rode shirtless on a horse into the front door of her home. The woman was not impressed and called police. The man now faces charges.

B) An Oregon man caught on camera relieving himself into an open reservoir. Authorities decided to drain the nearly 8 million gallon water source, costing the city of Portland $36,000 in the process. The man was charged and fined.

C) A Washington State escaped convict who knocked on a cabin door looking to use a phone and ended up finding an off duty officer from the same prison he ran away from a day earlier. The runaway is back behind bars.

WINNER: C


June 13, 2011

A) An Illinois man walked into a convenience store demanding 99 cents. When the store clerk refused, the man held up a gun, but left the store when another customer came in. He didn't get far before police found him. He was also carrying drugs.

B) This New York teen convinced his girlfriend and her family he had inherited a multimillion-dollar home. Too bad it wasn't true. After the family got comfortable in the home, the real owner showed up. The teen now faces burglary charges.

C) An ex-California deputy showed up to his DUI sentencing drunk. The court bailiff smelled the alcohol on the man, and the judge decided to postpone the sentencing. The man's bail was also increased.

WINNER: C


June 6, 2011

A) A Maryland man who was yelling during a phone conversation in his motel room about there being a warrant out for his arrest. He was so loud that other motel guests heard the conversation, called the police, and the man was arrested.

B) A man from Delaware who got himself into a woman's home, drank some of her beers, then went to sleep on her couch. When the woman woke up and called police, the man ran off. He was found along a road, beer in hand, and was arrested.

C) A man from Maine who pocket dialed himself into an arrest. The man was doing yard work with his phone in his pocket. The phone kept dialing 9-1-1. Police tracked where the calls were coming from. The man had warrants for unpaid fines, and was arrested in his home.

WINNER: A


May 30, 2011

A) An ATM serviceman who was caught stealing over 200,000 dollars from a machine and replacing the real money with photocopied counterfeit bills.

B) A Florida man who was arrested after attacking a woman with a pool noodle. The dispute occurred after the woman allegedly threw his watermelon into the ocean.

C) A burglar who broke into a Texas woman's house but did not actually steal anything. Instead, police found him sitting in the sink eating raw chicken while naked.

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