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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 7/21/2014, 9:25am  ET

WINNER: B


May 16, 2011

a) This wanted Wisconsin man was found hiding in a back yard, naked. Before police took him to jail, they dropped him at the hospital for minor injuries. The man then fled the hospital, still naked, but didn't get far. Police say drugs were involved.

b) A New Hampshire man lied about his wife's illness and death to get money from his job. The man's wife didn't know about the plan, and called her husbands company after she received a sympathy card, to let them know she was still alive. The man was arrested.

c) You might remember this local man stopped to charge his cell phone in a house he was robbing, but left it behind when he fled, after the owner came home. Well, now he'll also plead guilty to seven other break-ins. He could face up to 17 years in jail.

WINNER: B


May 9, 2011

A) This South Carolina man called 9-1-1 when he thought he was short-changed. Too bad it was after buying crack from a drug dealer. The man says he gave the dealer $60, but only got $20 worth of drugs. Police say that's when they were called. He was arrested.

B) A local man tried to break in to a restaurant, but got stuck in a ventilation duct. The man was there for 8 hours before an employee discovered his feet dangling from the ceiling. The man told police he was just looking for a place to rest.

C) This New York man jumped into the Hudson River to escape police. The man bolted from his car when he was pulled over, and jumped from a near bridge. He was rescued, and police say he thought there was a warrant out for his arrest. There wasn't.

WINNER: A


April 25, 2011

a) These Houston knuckleheads robbed a bank, and then bragged about it on Facebook. Police say after the men made a clean get away, they posted status updates on Facebook about the robbery, the next day. They were arrested.

b) A California gang member got a crime scene tattooed on his body. The tattoo stretched from his neck to his chest, and from arm to arm, showing particulars of a 2004 fatal shooting. It also led to his murder conviction.

c) Cincinatti Reds' pitcher Mike Leake had $250 in his pocket, but he's accused of trying to steal $59 in T-shirts, from Macy's. He was arrested, but claimed he was trying to exchange shirts, without the benefit of a store employee's help.

WINNER: A


April 18, 2011

a) A Mississippi burglar looking to steal pain medication, who ended up with a bottle full of beans. The drug store had been broken into several times and the pharmacist switched out the pills for kidney beans. There are no suspects.

b) A German politician caught in a sting operation for stealing toilet paper from the town hall. Authorities became suspicious after more than 200 rolls disappeared from the bathroom. Total cost of the stolen T-P is in the hundreds.

C) Two Pennsylvania men who stole a toolbox from a home and unknowingly tried to sell it back to the owner at his place of work. The victim recognized the toolbox and went home to see he had been robbed. Both men face charges.

WINNER: C


April 11, 2011

A) A Michigan Applebee's accidentally served alcohol to a toddler. The boy's mother says her son started acting strange after drinking what she thought was apple juice. After she took a sip, she realized it was margarita mix. The boy's ok, and the restaurant has since apologized.

B) This drunk local man ran into the woods to get away from police, then ran back out, jumped in a police cruiser, and sped off. While police chased him for miles, the man rammed into four other police cars. When he finally stopped, he was arrested.

C) A Canadian man tried to steal chicken from a store by stuffing it down his pants. An employee watched as the man did the stuffing. A security guard tried to stop him, but the man punched him in the face. He was still caught...and arrested.

WINNER: C


April 4, 2011

a) A Florida man who was too tired to walk so he decided to steal a doughnut truck. Police charged the man with grand theft auto and drug possession. It is not known if he ate any of the 388 boxes of doughnuts in the truck.

b) A New Mexico mom who was too drunk to drive and had her 14-year-old son drive her to the store to buy more beer. Police spotted the car driving with its headlights off and pulled them over. The mother could face multiple charges.

C) A Cleveland City Employee whose April Fool's Day prank did not go as planned. The employee told her boyfriend that shots were fired in city hall. The boyfriend called police. Emergency responders arrived at the scene and realized it was a prank. The city employee was arrested and is facing charges.

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