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Knuckleheads in the News

Monday - 9/1/2014, 5:33am  ET

Winner: A

October 7, 2013

A) Congress

B) The White House

C) The American electorate -- we voted these people into public office

D) All of the above

Winner: A

September 30, 2013

A) A group of people in Augusta, Maine who reported seeing a U-F-O over the city. Police checked it out and discovered it was only a spotlight a Mexican restaurant was using to celebrate its re-opening.

B) A police impersonator in Colorado who confronted a real officer by mistake. The imposter approached a real undercover detective in a cell phone store and demanded the cop "give him the drugs." But the cop turned things around and arrested the wanna-be.

C) A Pennsylvania man who was barking mad after being pulled over for drunk driving. Police said he started growling and hissing at a police dog and its handler. On top of drunk driving charges, he could serve 7 years in prison for inciting -- Chaos -- the dog.

Winner: B

September 23, 2013

A) An Arkansas man who forgot his cell phone at a store he robbed. Officers say the phone was charging when store owners found it and pulled up the man's Facebook profile. He's been charged with burglary.

B) Two animal smugglers who were caught after they brought out a stolen animal for a photo opportunity with pop star Rihanna. The songstress posted a picture of the animal on her Instagram account while on vacation in Thailand. The photo got two hundred thousand likes and led authorities to the men.

C) Major League Baseball, NOT the Nationals, for making Nats fans sit through a 4 hr rain delay saturday night before post-poning the game until Sunday.

Winner: A

September 16, 2013

A) A 23-year-old who sold her food stamps on Facebook. The woman posted the deal on her page, offering $100 worth of food stamps for just 50 bucks. She was already in lock-up for another crime when she was caught. Cops tacked on a welfare fraud charge.

B) Two Montana teens who egged and toilet-papered a house, then left the receipt for the eggs and toilet paper in the yard. Police were able to track down the teens using the grocery store security camera.

C) A Florida man who said he was robbed, then used his supposedly stolen phone to call home. The 26-year-old said his phone and wallet had been taken, but police found calls to his house from the phone after it was supposedly stolen. He was arrested for filing a false report.

Winner: A

September 9, 2013

A) Things got a bit spicy at a border check point in New Mexico. Customs officers found one very drunk man face down... in a shipment of red chile peppers. He was hoping to catch a ride to Chicago, but he just got caught. The red chile shipment was later released.

B) A demolition dupe in Michigan. One man's house was facing the wrecking ball... And he had an idea to save it. He changed the address numbers with the house next door, and the crew tore down the wrong home. But his luck didn't last... In the end the crew came back and wrecked the right house.

C) An "idiot" in Cleveland. He called 9-1-1 and threatened police officers. Now a judge is making him wear a sign saying that he's an idiot and he's sorry. The 58- year-old has to stand outside the police station for an entire week and wear the sign for 3 hours a day.

Winner: B

September 2, 2013

A) A Washington state man who fired an arrow wrapped with weed at a second floor window of a county jail. The package was supposed to be a gift for another inmate -- but the man aimed too high and hit the roof instead. He's being charged for bringing contraband into a jail.

B) A bank robbery suspect who tried to hide from police in a garbage chute... And fell 200 feet. Police say the New York man fell from the 21st floor of an apartment complex a few blocks from the bank he robbed. He's being charged with robbery... once he gets out of the hospital.

C) A 73-year-old man who accidentally planted pot. He says he found seeds in a box and planted them -- not knowing what would happen. Police took the 2 foot tall plant from his apartment...but say they didn't see evidence that he is a pot smoker.

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