WASHINGTON — The man who doesn’t want to pay Kirk Cousins (or call him by his actual name) clearly isn’t as conservative with his real estate purchases.
Washington Redskins President Bruce Allen has apparently bought himself a lavish bay-front home along a pricey part of the California coast, spending over $7 million for the 4,100-square-foot property. I don’t normally begrudge a rich guy spending his wealth on whatever he wants — but when I do, it’s because the purchase comes the same week he’s actively lowballing his most valuable employee.
For what feels like the millionth time, Allen is guilty of some really bad timing and even worse optics. If you clicked on the above link — which I strongly suggest you do so you can see all the bells and whistles this palatial estate has — you’ll notice the story was posted July 13. As you know, that’s just four days before Allen’s farcical explanation as to why the Redskins quarterback didn’t get a long-term contract at the franchise tag deadline, a stunningly brazen attempt to turn fans against the franchise player.
Everything about this drips with satire. Allen just fired Scot McCloughan from his post as general manager because of an alleged drinking relapse, yet here’s the face of the front office buying a swanky new house with a wet bar. The fact that this place resides within relative driving distance of the two most logical landing spots for Cousins in 2018 (the San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams) is the proverbial cherry on top.
After that, I looked for more parallels and easily found them. The house has four full bathrooms, one for each losing season the Redskins have endured since Allen joined the front office in 2010. It also has a formal dining room perfect for a smaller-scale version of his famous homecoming weekends (don’t be surprised if DeAngelo Williams shows up to break up the party) and a living room with floor-to-ceiling glass doors — perfect for a man who loves throwing stones from his proverbial ivory tower.
Perhaps the most analogous of all, the man known for his asinine “winning off the field” comment has once again found a way to fall upward immediately after a terrible gaffe. DJ Khaled wishes he could win like this guy.
Furthermore, the Redskins — not far removed from being the team infamous for overspending on free agents — have been rigidly frugal under Allen, so seeing him so willing to spend his own money so extravagantly while simultaneously pinching every penny of owner Dan Snyder’s is laughable.
Though “The Petty Godfather” has a history of selling his homes to D.C. athletes, this much we know: Allen won’t be likely to rent his plush pad to Cousins should “Kurt” take his talents anywhere near Newport Beach.