Some ineffective mind control, an accidental “win” and divine intervention headline the NFL Week 6 Recap.
2019 NFL Week 6 Recap
Lions 22
Packers 23
Though Matt Patricia had a right to be nervous about this game, Detroit was robbed of what could have been a fifth straight win over the Packers — and third in four trips to Green Bay — because of a BS penalty on Trey Flowers on the deciding drive. This basically hands the NFC North (the only division without a team with a losing record) to the Packers and further proves my point about the NFL’s officiating problem.
2/14
CARSON, CALIFORNIA – OCTOBER 13: Quarterback Devlin Hodges #6 of the Pittsburgh Steelers runs the ball down the field against the Los Angeles Chargers at Dignity Health Sports Park on October 13, 2019 in Carson, California.
(Getty Images/Katharine Lotze)
Steelers 24
Chargers 17
On a night when the literal last man standing among the QB Class of ’04 was supposed to strut past his contemporaries, Philip Rivers was outplayed in his own stadium by undrafted duck caller Devlin Hodges to fall from playoff contender to last-place afterthought.
But give Mike Tomlin credit: Pittsburgh is some bad JuJu away from going 3-0 after their 0-3 start, even amid an onslaught of injuries and bogus rumors of leaving the Steel City for a quasi-homecoming in Washington. This probably isn’t a playoff team but it’s one that won’t be an easy game on the schedule.
3/14
EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY – OCTOBER 13: Sam Darnold #14 of the New York Jets rushes against the Dallas Cowboys in fourth quarter at MetLife Stadium on October 13, 2019 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
(Getty Images/Michael Owens)
Cowboys 22
Jets 24
Sam Darnold returned from mono to lead Gang Green to their first home win in a calendar year, and BWAHAHAHAHA DALLAS! HAHAHAHA!
4/14
DENVER, COLORADO – OCTOBER 13: Quarterback Ryan Tannehill #17 of the Tennessee Titans is sacked against the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter at Broncos Stadium at Mile High on October 13, 2019 in Denver, Colorado.
(Getty Images/Matthew Stockman)
Titans 0
Broncos 16
How do you know your season is over? When your coach says, “We’re really just trying to find a way to move the football, score some points,” when justifying playing Ryan Tannehill in a game against a Joe Flacco-led team. Yikes.
5/14
Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray (1) throws against the Atlanta Falcons during the second half of an NFL football game, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, in Glendale, Ariz.
(AP/Ross D. Franklin)
Falcons 33
Cardinals 34
Give it up for Kyler Murray, y’all. The rookie outdueled a former MVP and became only the third player in NFL history to throw for 300 yards in half of his first six games. His future is bright, even if Arizona’s present fortunes aren’t necessarily.
And if this was Step 1 of Dan Quinn’s three-week process of turning around the most disappointing team in the league … he’s already fired.
6/14
LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 13: Aaron Donald #99 of the Los Angeles Rams and Dante Fowler #56 put pressure on Jimmy Garoppolo #10 of the San Francisco 49ers who would fumble the ball in the fourth quarter at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on October 13, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. San Francisco won 20-7.
(Getty Images/John McCoy)
49ers 20
Rams 7
Considering this is what the Niners defense does to a QB they’re not mad at, Kyle Shanahan is proverbially plugging his fingers in holes extremely well and Jimmy G wins more than DJ Khaled, San Francisco looks poised to run away with a division that’s a helluva lot closer than most expected it to be at this point in the season.
Redskins 17
Dolphins 16
I mean, is it really even a win if the team you played wasn’t trying to? It’s so bad here in Washington that a movement to fire Bruce Allen travels better than the actual fans do. Between Kyle Shanahan’s grudge and the Redskins’ general ineptitude, the undefeated 49ers might win by 70 on Sunday.
8/14
BALTIMORE, MD – OCTOBER 13: Lamar Jackson #8 of the Baltimore Ravens scrambles during the second half against the Cincinnati Bengals at M&T Bank Stadium on October 13, 2019 in Baltimore, Maryland.
(Getty Images/Scott Taetsch)
Bengals 17
Ravens 23
Lamar Jackson has three 100-yard rushing games — two against Cincinnati alone — in his first two seasons, which matches only Billy Kilmer in the last 70 years. Every record Michael Vick owns is in jeopardy, and Baltimore gets a front-row seat for one of the greatest shows the NFL has to offer.
9/14
Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins (8) throws a pass during the second half of an NFL football game against the Philadelphia Eagles, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, in Minneapolis.
(AP/Bruce Kluckhohn)
Eagles 20
Vikings 38
Given the difference between what Zach Brown had to say about Kirk Cousins before this game and after, I shall heretofore refer to Brown as Smokey because this felt a lot like his (NSFW) attitude about Deebo. If Philly misses the playoffs, we’ll certainly point to this early-season underachieving.
10/14
New Orleans Saints wide receiver Deonte Harris (11) is brought down by Jacksonville Jaguars defensive back Andrew Wingard, left, during the first half of an NFL football game, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, in Jacksonville, Fla.
(AP/Stephen B. Morton)
Saints 13
Jaguars 6
11/14
KANSAS CITY, MO – OCTOBER 13: Bashaud Breeland #21 of the Kansas City Chiefs holds on to the jersey of Carlos Hyde #23 of the Houston Texans in the fourth quarter at Arrowhead Stadium on October 13, 2019 in Kansas City, Missouri.
(Getty Images/David Eulitt)
Texans 31
Chiefs 24
I see you, Carlos Hyde. The former Chief helped Houston pull off a big road win to spoil Tyreek Hill’s return and put us on notice that the Texans are for real. A win in Indy next week will hammer home that point.
12/14
Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, right, scrambles against the Cleveland Browns during the second half of an NFL football game, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, in Cleveland.
(AP/Ron Schwane)
Seahawks 32
Browns 28
Ohio-native Russell Wilson’s first game in Cleveland went a helluva lot better than any of the three Baker Mayfield has played there this season. The Browns are 2-4, including an 0-3 start at home, and it’s starting to look like this team is closer to the Fortune .500 Redskins than anything resembling their preseason hype.
13/14
Carolina Panthers defensive tackle Gerald McCoy (93) reacts during the second quarter of an NFL football game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Sunday, Oct. 13, 2019, at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in London.
(AP/Tim Ireland)
Panthers 37
Bucs 26
Jameis Winston established himself as the heir apparent to Blake Bortles for the title of “The Human Turnover,” and Gerald McCoy was a big reason why. With the Panthers defense swarming, Riverboat Ron exploiting obscure rules and Christian McCaffrey helping Kyle Allen play way above his own head, Carolina looks destined for a wild card playoff spot.
14/14
FOXBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS – OCTOBER 10: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots celebrates after scoring a one-yard touchdown against the New York Giants during the fourth quarter in the game at Gillette Stadium on October 10, 2019 in Foxborough, Massachusetts.
(Getty Images/Maddie Meyer)
Giants 14
Patriots 35
On a night when Tom Brady passed longtime rival Peyton Manning for the second-most passing yards in NFL history, Tom Terrific became the oldest player in NFL history to rush for two touchdowns in a game and the Patriots’ defense dominated another patsy to extend their home win streak to 19 games. Go figure.
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