2019 NFL Week 5 Recap
Browns 3
49ers 31
San Francisco’s run for 800 yards in four games. The defense completely shut down Cleveland to not only make a primetime statement that they’re for real, but the undefeated Niners planted a flag atop the NFC West entering a big showdown with the Rams at the Coliseum.
Colts 19
Chiefs 13
Whatever Justin Houston told the Colts defense about slowing down Patrick Mahomes clearly worked. A week after blowing one to the Raiders at home, Indy dominated the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball to notch a signature win in the post-Luck era.
Meanwhile, Kansas City has to be worried about Mahomes’ ankle. Even though the reigning MVP at 80% is still a Pro Bowler, the Chiefs need him healthy to overcome that shaky defense.
Packers 34
Cowboys 24
At Green Bay’s home away from home, Dallas demonstrated exactly why they can’t win a Super Bowl as currently constituted: Dak Prescott is good but not great, and Jason Garrett is only a slight upgrade over the underachieving Wade Phillips.
Broncos 20
Chargers 13
Denver got its first takeaway and its first win. For a team with Joe Flacco at QB, those aren’t mutually exclusive.
Patriots 33
Redskins 7
Tom Brady, in what amounted to a bonus home game, moved into third place on the all-time passing yardage list, while the New England defense still has yet to allow more than one offensive touchdown in a game this season. The Patriots are three weeks away from playing a team that can really challenge them but that six-week slate (Browns, at Ravens, at Eagles, Cowboys, at Texans, Chiefs) will tell us if this is an all-time great team or just one good at beating up on bad teams.
Ravens 26
Steelers 23 (OT)
Earl Thomas has been a great player for a long time but this hit absolutely can’t go unpunished. And regardless of who’s at fault for that ridiculous disabled cart, no one should be allowed to just walk off the field after taking hit like that.
Jets 6
Eagles 31
Until Sam Darnold returns, the New York Jets are an extra bye week for their opponents. Except the Redskins. They could definitely beat the Redskins.
Vikings 28
Giants 10
At least for a week, all the talk Kirk Cousins swears he never hears about his inaccuracy is minimized and all is well with him and his receivers. But the minute he puts up another stinker, trust and believe I will break out his old baby gender reveal video — whether he sees it or not.
Bucs 24
Saints 31
Teddy Bridgewater matched a career-high with 4 TDs and the New Orleans defense continued to do enough to make him a winner since taking over as the starting QB for the injured Drew Brees. If they can stay on a roll without their future Hall of Fame field general, the Saints could go marching into the Super Bowl after all.
Bears 21
Raiders 24
This game was supposed to be another Across-the-Pond stinker to remind us that Jon Gruden dealing Khalil Mack to Chicago made the Bears a Super Bowl contender faster than he could ever make the Raiders. Instead, we’re viewing these two 3-2 teams very differently than we did six weeks ago: Oakland looks like a Wild Card contender and Chicago looks like a variation of whatever the hell Mack was talking about last week.
Falcons 32
Texans 53
Will Fuller’s ridiculous 14-catch, 217-yard, 3-TD outburst goes down as one of the top 10 fantasy performances by a receiver and Deshaun Watson had a perfect passing game (he had as many touchdowns as incompletions!) to put Houston atop their division and Atlanta at the bottom of theirs. Now, if you’ll excuse, I’m going to slink away and hope no one remembers my preseason prediction for the Falcons.
Jaguars 27
Panthers 34
The Jock Strap King couldn’t summon his Minshew Magic again so the focus of this game is where it belongs: On Carolina’s Christian McCaffrey, only the second player in NFL history with at least 175 scrimmage yards in four of his team’s first five games of the season. If he keeps doing the heavy lifting for the injury-depleted Panthers, MVP is a two-horse race between McCaffrey and Patrick Mahomes.
Bills 14
Titans 7
I don’t know which I’m struggling most to grasp: Buffalo being 4-1 or the fact that it’s been nearly 20 years since the Music City Miracle happened.
Cardinals 26
Bengals 23
Only because someone had to win this battle of winless Sean McVay wannabes with CFL roots.
Rams 29
Seahawks 30
As “dumbest things ever” go, this was as good a game as we’ve seen all season — and Russell Wilson is playing perhaps the best football of his career, finally avoiding his arch-nemesis and completing near-impossible passes in a near-perfect performance that will matter in a tightly-contested NFC West race. If Wilson keeps playing at an MVP level — and the Rams defense, which surrendered 85 points and close to 900 yards in one calendar week, keeps getting torched — Seattle is the team to beat in this division.