2020 NFL Week 4 Recap

Falcons 16
Packers 30

Look, I get that Atlanta’s secondary is banged up badly. But Aaron Rodgers didn’t have his top two receivers and still had a near-perfect passer rating to stay undefeated on Monday Night Football since 2014. Green Bay looks like the team to beat in the NFC.

Patriots 10
Chiefs 26

Perhaps Patrick Mahomes’ mom doesn’t like you shortening his name because it’s also short for Patriots — as in, the only team to beat Mahomes twice and the only team to hold his Chiefs without a touchdown in the first half of a game. But without a QB, the Patriots had no shot of leaving Kansas City with a win. Consider this a glimpse of what football season in New England would look like if they weren’t gift wrapped Cam Newton.

Eagles 25
49ers 20

How bad is the NFC East? Philadelphia is in first place, despite winning its first game in Week 4 and running only three plays this season while leading in the fourth quarter. If the NFL ever adopted relegation, this whole division would get tossed for the SEC.

But hey, at least we got that great Brandon Aiyuk touchdown!

Bills 30
Raiders 23

Rebirth of Roethlisberger, indeed. Josh Allen shrugged off a shoulder injury to score all three of Buffalo’s touchdowns and lead the Bills to their first 4-0 start in 12 years. If that defense ever gets its act together, Buffalo could run away with the AFC East.

Giants 9
Rams 17

As expected, the Springer-esque beef between Golden Tate and Jalen Ramsey turned this ho-hum matchup into a full-on brawl. If the Giants had that kind of fight all the time, they might actually win a game.

Colts 19
Bears 11

Nick Foles and Frank Reich were reunited, and it was a great reminder that Foles — now 0-5 as a starter the last two seasons — is only magical when wearing an Eagles jersey.

Baltimore 31
Washington 17

If Kansas City is Baltimore’s Kryptonite, Washington is the Ravens’ yellow sun (Superman fans get this). But history suggests Baltimore would have been better off losing: The Ravens have only ever won a Super Bowl after losing to Washington in the regular season, so this might actually be another win for the Chiefs.

And forget the Battle of the Beltways. We’re all rooting for Ron Rivera to win his battle against cancer, and Sunday was a great show of support.

Browns 49
Cowboys 38

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, sorry. I’ll just objectively and not at all gleefully say Dak Prescott’s historic and breathtaking passing numbers are the only thing keeping Dallas competitive and should get him paid handsomely at season’s end. But a Cowboys defense capable of giving up over 300 rushing yards and 49 points at home will get you completely blowed out … blown out.

But give it up for Cleveland. The Browns have scored 30+ points in three straight games for the first time since 1969 and are off to their first 3-1 start since 2001, even as their receivers got so tired of waiting for balls from Baker Mayfield they ended up throwing a touchdown to each other. The AFC North is going to be a helluva battle all year long.

Vikings 31
Texans 23

A team with Deshaun Watson at quarterback loses at home to a winless team with Kirk Cousins at quarterback because it’s poorly coached. Bill O’Brien took Houston from contender to 0-4 afterthought, and if the Jaguars drop the Texans to 0-5, he shouldn’t finish out the season.

Cardinals 21
Panthers 31

Not to overreact to one game, but this feels like the point at which we realize Arizona isn’t as good as we thought and Carolina isn’t as bad as we thought.

Chargers 31
Bucs 38

Mike Evans moonwalked off criticizing Keenan Allen and then moonwalked into the end zone for one of Tom Brady’s five touchdown passes, helping TB become the oldest player to have a five-TD game. But will the GOAT’s 43-year-old arm have enough juice to play a Thursday night game in Chicago?

Seahawks 31
Dolphins 23

Seattle’s defense continues to give up 300-yard passing games, but Russell Wilson keeps outdueling all comers, tying the NFL record with 16 TD passes in the first four games of the season. He could legit go from never getting an MVP vote to being a unanimous choice for the award.

Saints 35
Lions 29

Detroit is the first team in NFL history to lose six straight games in which they’ve led by double digits. The Lions owe Jim Caldwell an apology.

Jaguars 25
Bengals 33

In this catfight nobody cares about, Boring Joe Burrow became the first rookie to throw for 300 yards in each of his first three games, finally got his first NFL victory and didn’t care enough to keep the memento. It would be a crime if Cincinnati never puts a winning team around this guy.

Broncos 37
Jets 28

Nobody would mistake Brett Rypien for his uncle Mark (other than Vic Fangio, anyway), but he won his first NFL start thanks to a sick play from rookie Jerry Jeudy and six sacks from the same defense that allowed Sam Darnold to look like Lamar Jackson. The only justice would have been for these teams to tie so they’d both still be winless.