One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from my marriage is that it’s not the big showy things once a year on Valentine’s Day that really show your partner your love. It’s the smaller things you do both on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.
Here are 10 powerful and inexpensive ways to show your love and remind your partner how much he or she matters to you. Use a few of these in the week ahead of Valentine’s Day, but also keep them up during the year.
1. Write a loving note, and put it in your partner’s work bag. It doesn’t need to be anything more complicated than “I love you” or “Everything you do means so much to me.” It just needs to be in your handwriting and easily discoverable. If you need some help, here are some great tips to write love notes.
2. Take care of your partner’s dreaded task after he or she goes to sleep. This is something my wife and I often do for each other. One of us might be on duty for cleaning the kitchen or taking care of children’s laundry on Saturday morning, but the other one will take care of it after the first one is in bed. That way, when the partner who was supposed to take care of the chore wakes up, that person gets a wonderful surprise.
3. Watch the children, and give your partner some “no questions asked” free time. Give your partner an evening or two a week to do whatever he or she wants. And few times a year, give your partner an entire day or two to explore his or her own interests. Encourage your partner to do things like visit old friends or attend a convention related to an interest of theirs while you stay behind and take care of the children or manage other responsibilities.
4. Give your partner a gentle back massage after a hard day. You don’t have to be a perfect masseuse to make this work. In fact, the value in such a massage is mostly the skin-to-skin contact from someone who loves you and wants to relieve your tension and aches. That period of physical closeness with the intent of relieving stress can be incredibly powerful.
5. Find free concerts and community events, and plan a day around them with your partner. If you want your relationship to strengthen and you want to show your partner how much you care, one of the best gifts you can give is your time. It doesn’t matter that much what you do as long as you do it together. With that in mind, plan a low-cost day together doing things such as enjoying state parks, free concerts, community events, and so on, and pack a picnic lunch and/or dinner.
6. Give a thoughtful inexpensive gift rather than a thoughtless generic gift. It’s easy to walk into a jewelry store and buy something shiny or walk into a florist and buy a dozen roses. It requires little thought, but it can be expensive. Instead, spend some time thinking about your partner, and choose a small gift that’s really in line with what your partner enjoys and cares about.
7. Make a playlist or CD for your partner. Look for songs he or she likes, mixing older songs your significant other has always loved along with a few new tunes that might intrigue him or her — like new singles by favorite musicians from days past.
8. Make a meal your partner dearly loves from scratch. Pay attention to your partner’s favorite meals. Then spend some time learning how to prepare those meals at home. Take the time to actually prepare the meal from scratch. Even if the food isn’t perfect, it will mean far more than another meal at a restaurant.
9. Listen to your partner’s problems and concerns without distraction (and ask follow-up questions). Your partner likely has difficulties and challenges in his or her professional or social life that he or she would like to vent about. Be receptive to that venting. Sit down, listen to your partner’s story, pay attention, maintain eye contact, ask follow-up questions and don’t offer solutions unless they’re requested. Your partner will feel the love when you do that.
10. Simply say, “I love you.” It doesn’t get much easier than this. Three little words can mean so much.
You don’t have to go to incredible lengths to show your love. All it takes are a few simple steps.
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10 Frugal Ways to Show Your Love originally appeared on usnews.com
