2022 NFL Week 7 Recap

Happy Homecomings, divine intervention and a Louvre-worthy leap highlight the NFL Week 7 Recap.



Bears 14
Patriots 33

Either way, Bill Belichick was going to make history against the Bears. It just wasn’t the history he wanted.

Belichick missed out on passing George “Papa Bear” Halas for second on the all-time coaching victories list at the expense of Halas’ old team but it was Chicago’s first-ever win in Foxborough and the highest-scoring game of Justin Fields’ career. If only for one night, the Bears have a better QB situation than the Patriots.

Steelers 10
Dolphins 16

As part of the celebration of the 50th anniversary of the NFL’s only perfect season, Miami marked down the concessions to 1972 prices — and apparently discounted the football too. The Dolphins defense bailed out a rusty Tua-led offense and spoiled the return of former Fins Brian Flores and Minkah Fitzpatrick to stay in the AFC East race.

Chiefs 44
49ers 23

If Kyle Shanahan didn’t like watching Super Bowl LIV, he’s really gonna hate this film.

San Francisco demonstrated a reckless level of desperation by trading for Christian McCaffrey, which is a luxury the Niners can’t afford at the price they paid. We’re about to find out how much job security Shanahan and John Lynch really have.

Seahawks 37
Chargers 23

Here’s a fine example of 4-3 starts not being equal: Seattle is one of the most pleasant surprises in the NFL and looking like a sneaky contender in a division widely expected to be decided by the two teams in California. Meanwhile, the L.A. Chargers still look like the talented underachievers they’ve been for years — even with the AFC West not shaping up to be as historically great as previously thought.

Texans 20
Raiders 38

Josh Jacobs is the first Raider with three straight 100-yard rushing games since Napolean Kaufman in 1997. If Las Vegas doesn’t want to throw down a few chips to keep him, he’s going to be a nice pick up elsewhere. Put my money on Buffalo.

Jets 16
Broncos 9

No matter who plays quarterback, Denver’s offensive is historically putrid. At this point, the only question about this Broncos offense is whether Russell Wilson will finish the season with the most ridiculous stat of 2022 still intact.

Packers 21
Commanders 23

Taylor Heinicke honored his late father by beating the team of his youth to get hella paid, the defense had the rare distinction of holding Green Bay to no third down conversions and Washington won in front of a bunch of alumni as part of the 90th anniversary celebration — but here goes Tanya Snyder dropping the old ‘R’ word as if it’s still 1983 when Mark Moseley won MVP and now can’t get his name spelled right. Even in victory, this franchise will continue to rob Washington of any joy as long as a Snyder — any Snyder, not just Dan — is at the top of its hierarchy.

Browns 20
Ravens 23

Now this is what Washington used to be: Baltimore celebrated the 10th anniversary of its last Super Bowl and then went out and kept current championship aspirations alive by beating an AFC North rival to stay atop a competitive division. Things get really interesting if the Ravens can shrug off a short week to keep Tampa in a downward spiral on Thursday Night Football.

Lions 6
Cowboys 24

If Detroit’s response to rock bottom (coming off a bye!) is having nearly as many turnovers (five) as points against a team breaking in a rusty QB, Dan Campbell is as good as gone.

Giants 23
Jaguars 17

Not that beating a Jacksonville squad that’s lost 19 straight cross-division games is a big deal, Big Blue finding a way to win on the road in comeback fashion to improve to 6-1 (the Giants’ best start since 2008) shows this team just might be for real after all.

Bucs 3
Panthers 21

Football gods indeed. We live in a world where this is true. Incredible.

Colts 10
Titans 19

Because apparently, Alumni Weekend is magic, Tennessee swept Indy for the second straight year to regain control of the division they were expected to win anyway. The Colts better throw together an Alumni Weekend next week if they want to counter Washington’s Heinicke magic.

Falcons 17
Bengals 35

Just in case some of y’all really thought Atlanta was good … here you go.

Saints 34
Cardinals 42

We could play an 18-game season and not get a better shot than this Pick 6.

Hang this gif in the damn Louvre.

 

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