2021 NFL Week 5 Recap

You can only find a historic shootout, fitting tributes to legends, questionable tears and dozens of missed kicks in the NFL Week 5 Recap. Trust and believe you’ll be better for it.

Colts 25
Ravens 31 (OT)

Go ahead and give this man the MVP.

Bills: 38
Chiefs: 20

After a start defensively on par with the greatest teams the NFL (and the D.C. area especially) has ever seen, the Buffalo Bills made another statement in stormy Kansas City by steamrolling the Chiefs to avenge their AFC Championship Game loss. They made a clear statement that the best team in the NFL resides in Western New York.

Meanwhile, KC is in some trouble after falling to 2-3. The first place Chargers are red-hot while the Chiefs are the only team in the league to give up 29+ points in every game this season, and the usually superhuman Patrick Mahomes has revealed his mortal nature. We may see a legit shootout at FedEx Field Sunday.

Giants: 20
Cowboys: 44

I guess Troy Aikman had it right.

Even if the Giants didn’t lose their top three offensive weapons and play like a team in the fourth quarter of a preseason game, Dallas is just that much better than everyone else in the NFC East. It’s not a matter of whether the Cowboys win the division — it’s how early they clinch it and whether they can win enough overall games to get in on the race for home-field advantage.

49ers: 10
Cardinals: 17

Even though this defensive struggle put a dent in Arizona’s record-setting offensive pace, Kyler Murray and the underrated Cardinals defense led the franchise to its first 5-0 start since 1974. If Murray can kick butt like Bruce Lee in Cleveland, it might be time to take this team seriously.

And don’t beat up on Trey Lance, the fourth-youngest QB in the Super Bowl era, for his mediocre performance. The last baby 49er to struggle in his maiden voyage turned out pretty good.

Browns: 42
Chargers: 47

Remember when the Chargers were the hard luck team that lost a bunch of close games? Well, if this win to improve to 4-1 for the first time in seven years hasn’t reversed that yearslong trend, I’m not sure what does. Especially given how rare it is to beat a team that was as dominant as Cleveland offensively.

Bears: 20
Raiders: 9

Khalil Mack’s (sort of) return against his former team was a success, notching eight tackles and a sack against the coach, who immediately (and unceremoniously) dealt him upon arrival. So it’s only fitting that Mack was the first to kick Jon Gruden while he was down because of another lousy choice.

Saints: 33
Washington: 22

If this was the Washington defense getting close to living up to expectations, they’re going loooove what Patrick Mahomes does to them on Sunday. Hopefully, FedEx Field’s scoreboard can accommodate a third digit on the visitor’s side because this could get ugly fast. Bet the over on everything.

Eagles: 21
Panthers: 18

Thank you, Jalen Hurts. Carolina and the rest of the NFL needs to remember Cam Newton.

Broncos: 19
Steelers: 27

Pittsburgh finally put together the kind of balanced offensive attack they’ve lacked for years. Another performance like Sunday’s against the Russell Wilson-less Seahawks should get the Steelers right back in the AFC North race.

Dolphins: 17
Buccaneers: 45

I don’t know what’s more incredible: Tom Brady still playing at such a ridiculously high level at age 44, or the fact that he’s still accomplishing stuff he never has before in year 22. Tom Terrific had his first 400-yard, 5-TD game of his career — and did it with a bum thumb. This man ain’t human.

Packers: 25
Bengals: 22 (OT)

The only thing surprising about Mason Crosby’s “when at first you don’t succeed, try, try (and try, try) again” routine in Cincinnati is that Mason Crosby is somehow still Green Bay’s kicker 15 years running. This game was damn near half the reason for the worst week of kicking in NFL history.

Lions: 17
Vikings: 19

Dan Campbell went from threatening kneecaps to crying at the podium after his team stayed winless through five games. Was he channeling his inner Dick Vermeil or Red from Friday? Detroit’s performance against Cincinnati on Sunday will provide the answer.

Titans: 37
Jaguars: 19

Jacksonville is the third team in NFL history to lose 20 straight games. They have a coach losing the locker room so rapidly even Bobby Petrino’s head is spinning and can’t seem to be competitive, let alone good. I believe making an in-season coaching change is rarely warranted, but the Jaguars need to own their mistake sooner rather than later and do a hard reset, like yesterday.

Patriots: 25
Texans: 22

I’m just gonna leave this right here.

And, I’ll add that New England’s close loss to the best team in the NFL might have been better than this comeback win against perhaps the worst team in the league. It’s hard to get a read on these Patriots.

Jets: 20
Falcons: 27

The Jets in the first quarter this season:

0 points
0 passing yards
63 total yards
5 first downs

Expand it to the full first half, and Gang Green is being outscored 75-13. The NFL continues to export crappy football to England.

Rams: 26
Seahawks: 17

The biggest deal from this game is that Russell Wilson’s 149-game Ironman streak is almost assuredly over and Seattle’s season is in jeopardy if Russ is down for closer in the eight-week timeline. But the deal nobody’s talking about is the status of the double punt rule. This could be a game-changer if allowed to continue.

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