A clash of undefeated Titans, bad guts and a nod to “Iron Man 2.” The NFL Week 7 Recap is straight trippin’.
2020 NFL Week 7 Recap
Bears 10
Rams 24
Khalil Mack filled the box score better than Aaron Donald, but Donald’s Rams further exposed the Bears as a mediocre team with a good record. But don’t laugh L.A. — this is your first win against someone who doesn’t play in the NFC East so I’ll reserve judgement on the Rams until they face Brady’s Bucs in three weeks.
Seahawks 34
Cardinals 37 (OT)
Two things were on display in this primetime affair: Kyler Murray is a stud, and Seattle’s historically-bad defense will both clinch Russell Wilson’s first MVP award and be an impediment to a Seahawks championship run.
Bucs 45
Raiders 20
As if Jon Gruden wasn’t already sour about seeing his former team led by his former adversary, he walked away pissed off he didn’t get more time to prepare for the game. Maybe put (and keep) a mask on and you’d be in better position to hold Tom Brady to two touchdowns passes instead of five, and lose close like you usually do.
Speaking of Brady, he and Drew Brees are now in an unprecedented arms race that will serve as a backdrop to every week this season and I’m so here for it. Though this drew a different baseball parallel, I think it has the potential to be football’s answer to the Mark McGwire-Sammy Sosa home run race in 1998.
49ers 33
Patriots 6
New England’s worst home loss of the Bill Belichick era not only took Jimmy G off the hook for his unimpressive return to his old stomping grounds, but it also was the latest chapter in the Patriots’ worst passing season in nearly a half century. While it’s easy to revel in what is shaping up to be the Pats’ worst season in 18 years, it’s equally as easy to point out they followed up that 7-9 season in 2002 with back-to-back Super Bowls. I’m not counting this king dead until I’ve seen the autopsy.
Chiefs 43
Broncos 16
How good is Kansas City? Patrick Mahomes looked human and the offense was historically ineffective on third down, but the Chiefs still frequently made snow angels in Denver’s end zones. Sorry, Drew Lock — you’re still light years from a rivalry with the champs.
Jaguars 29
Chargers 39
If Justin Herbert is a force to be reckoned with, Jacksonville is forced to reckon with Gardner Minshew. It’s time for another Jaguars rebuild.
Cowboys 3
Washington 25
You know my gut feeling? Whatever went right with Washington on Sunday had more to do with what’s wrong with Dallas. A good team wins this game 42-0, maybe 52-0 given how bad the Cowboys are on defense. If the NFC East is manna from heaven, both of these teams will find a way to finish the season hungry.
Steelers 27
Titans 24
This picture reminds me: Did you know Sunday was National Tight Ends Day? When did this become a thing? And why does everything under the sun have its own day? Let’s make today “Celebrate Rob Woodfork’s NFL Recap Day.” I accept checks and cash donations, please and thank you.
Anyway, this battle of undefeated titans lived up to its billing. Pittsburgh is 6-0 for the first time in 42 years thanks to Big Ben’s big first half, while Stephen Gostkowski’s shaky kicking finally caught up to Tennessee. Don’t be surprised if there’s a rematch between these two teams in January.
Browns 37
Bengals 34
In the biggest back-and-forth fourth quarter in NFL history, Joe Burrow inched closer to breaking rookie passing records and Baker Mayfield had Cleveland’s first five-TD passing performance in 13 years to further the Browns’ best start since the days of Bill Belichick roaming the sideline in hoodies with actual sleeves. It’ll be interesting to see how Cleveland’s offense operates without Odell Beckham, who will likely be out of the Browns lineup for a while (assuming the deal he has with COVID doesn’t also apply to injuries in general).
Packers 35
Texans 20
While everyone else marvels at the Aaron Rodgers Scorched Earth Tour, I’m still trying to figure out how a team with Deshaun Watson and J.J. Watt can be so bad. If Eric Bieniemy isn’t Houston’s head coach three months from now, something is devastatingly wrong with the Texans organization.
Panthers 24
Saints 27
New Orleans is overcoming some real obstacles to stay close to Tampa in the division race, but this is now three straight games it feels like a team of the Saints’ caliber should win more handily. With road games at Chicago and Tampa Bay next on the schedule, we’re about to find out if this is even a playoff team.
Lions 23
Falcons 22
Matthew Stafford is the antithesis of the Falcons; the real Matty Ice now has 30 career fourth-quarter comebacks and 36 game-winning drives in his career thanks in part to Todd Gurley’s maddeningly ill-advised touchdown. But hey, at least Atlanta looked good blowing another game it should have won.
Bills 18
Jets 10
How inept are the Jets, you ask? They recklessly undermined their own trade, and it’s considered progress that they lost a game they led at halftime by “only” eight points. Adam Gase should be so lucky he only lost playcalling duties — Christopher Johnson should roll up like Justin Hammer and take his shoes and his bird.
Giants 21
Eagles 22
Philadelphia’s quarterback was surprised the Eagles won their sixth straight Thursday night game, and New York’s quarterback literally tripped over his own two feet (or worse) on what should have been the longest touchdown run by a QB in at least five years. Such is the state of the NFC East.