2019 NFL Week 2 Recap

Browns 23
Jets 3

A week after wearing a ridiculously expensive watch on the field in a blowout loss, Odell Beckham Jr. triumphantly returned to the Meadowlands and stuck it to his archnemesis Gregg Williams with his career-high 89-yard TD catch to highlight his monster primetime debut for Cleveland. If nothing else, these Browns are fun to watch.

Eagles 20
Falcons 24

On a night when DeSean Jackson’s considerable big-play talents were missed on the prime time stage, Julio Jones stepped up in the clutch with a 54-yard touchdown to save Atlanta’s season. Think that’s hyperbolic? It’s not. The Falcons play three of their next four games on the road before hosting the Rams and Seahawks. They needed this.

And Philly really needs the players they lost to injury in this game to be ok. Carson Wentz looked decidedly worse without DJax and Alshon Jeffery, and the second-oldest roster in the NFL doesn’t appear to have the depth to withstand multiple injuries to their skill positions.

Saints 9
Rams 27

New Orleans were screwed again in a loss to the Rams, but it’s hard to get as fired up about it this time around when, 1) the Saints lost their future Hall of Fame QB to an injury that could keep him out for a while, and 2) the game wasn’t close enough for the officiating gaffe to matter. The last meeting between these teams may be unforgettable, but this one might mark the end of the Saints’ run in Super Bowl contention if Brees is out for an extended period of time.

Bears 16
Broncos 14

It was a crazy ending to the first game in which Denver’s stadium is christened with a crazy new name. And just like that, Chicago has a (momentarily) clutch kicker to help lift a lagging offense to 1-1 with a virtual prime time bye against the notoriously-terrible-on-MNF Redskins.

Chiefs 28
Raiders 10

Thankfully, this was the last time we had to witness the sports abomination of seeing football played on a baseball field. If only we could ensure this is the last time we have to witness another Gruden-coached abomination …

Oh, and a duel between dual threats Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson next week? Yes, please.

Cowboys 31
Redskins 21

Happy Birthday, Terry McLaurin. What better way to celebrate 24 than with another five catch, one touchdown performance in a loss to a division rival?

And before you crown the Cowboys, consider their “fun” offense just lit up the two worst teams in the division, the latter without its best defensive lineman and two corners. Wake me up when they face the Packers, Vikings and Patriots defenses.

Cardinals 17
Ravens 23

This game was less about T-Sizzle’s “BS” return and more about these young QBs. Kyler Murray made history during another fourth-quarter comeback that came up short and Lamar Jackson reminded us he is still one of the most dangerous dual threats in the league by becoming the first player in NFL history to notch at least 250 passing yards and 120 rushing yards in a single game (sort of). If Action Jackson keeps this up in Kansas City, we’re in for a treat.

Seahawks 28
Steelers 26

It was a confluence of historical achievements for the Seahawks: Pete Carroll celebrated his 68th birthday with his 100th career victory as a head coach and Russell Wilson became the second sub-6-foot QB to throw for 200 touchdowns in his career (joining Redskins legend Sonny Jurgensen). I don’t think anyone’s sleeping on Seattle this year.

Patriots 43
Dolphins 0

Despite winning only once in their last five trips to Miami, the heavily-favored Patriots quickly integrated Antonio Brown into their offense and laid waste to a Dolphins team that should really come out and announce they’re tanking. I mean, if the third-worst scoring differential in the first two games of a season (-92) isn’t done on purpose, then Miami should be dumping that whole organization, not just their best players.

Bills 28
Giants 14

Josh Allen completed a two-game sweep of the Meadowlands and claimed sole ownership of the state of New York — all on a day when the Bills defense literally called Eli Manning a liability. It doesn’t exactly absolve Scott Norwood of Wide Right, but Buffalo will take their first 2-0 start in five years.

Colts 19
Titans 17

Tennessee: Where the turf gets lit up and the Titans do, too.

Seriously, though. Indianapolis has won 19 of the last 22 games between these two teams and stand just a rapidly-decaying Adam Vinatieri away from a remarkable 2-0 start to the post-Luck era. Here’s hoping the greatest kicker of all-time rights the ship and gets to complete what is surely the final season of his Hall-of-Fame career.

Jaguars 12
Texans 13

Gardner Minshew actually played more like Deshaun Watson than Deshaun Watson did, and might have stole one in Houston if Leonard Fournette could reclaim his rookie form. Jacksonville is wasting one of the best defenses in the league.

Vikings 16
Packers 21

Even though Matt LaFleur is the first Packers coach since Vince Lombardi to start 2-0, Aaron Rodgers still isn’t feeling him. And Minnesota still isn’t feeling Kirk Cousins after he threw one of his two picks to former Redskins teammate Preston Smith, and the other to kill a potential go-ahead drive to continue a mindnumbingly terrible trend. Captain Kirk got a 154-yard performance from Dalvin Cook and the defense played well enough to win on the road, so dude really is running out of excuses.

Chargers 10
Lions 13

In a battle of two of the NFL’s most durable-yet-underachieving passers, Matthew Stafford did a little more than Philip Rivers to give Detroit what will almost surely be their best win of 2019.

49ers 41
Bengals 17

Good for San Francisco: Jimmy G looks like the guy they banked on him developing into and the Niners are 2-0 for the first time since 2012. Beating the lousy Bengals and Bucs is one thing, but if they can knock off a desperate Steelers team (even with their infamous West Coast struggles) it’ll be time to talk about whether the NFC West is the best division in football.

Bucs 20 
Panthers 14

I don’t know if Norv Turner has Christian McCaffrey on his fantasy team … but I do. Carolina is right to feed him, especially in the clutch over a clearly-banged up Cam Newton, whose Gone With the Wind look will soon match his status as a starting QB if his losing streak extends much further beyond the current eight games.

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