It can be frustrating as a parent to have all sorts of good food, including some that your family has eaten together for generations, and see your kids refuse to try even a single bite of it. Especially when you know they would, or at least should, like it.
So, while you may try to broaden their horizons on Thanksgiving, one expert said that’s exactly the wrong time to push and prod your kids over what they like to eat. You might be able to improve the odds they’ll try something, but you have to be willing to let it go.
“It’s a holiday where food takes center stage, and a lot of families can have these really elaborate food traditions and pride in cooking,” said Dr. Alicia Tucker, a pediatric medical nutrition specialist at Children’s National Hospital in D.C.
Whether it’s about the cooking, the dinner table discussion or getting your kids to eat, she said the extra people, new smells and foods in addition to all the craziness can be stressful for your kids too. She said it could get to the point that even kids who aren’t the pickiest eaters normally might be a little more, in her words, selective.
“When kids feel pressured to eat something they don’t want to eat, they’re going to push back more,” said Tucker. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put it on their plate, but we really try to get people away from the sort of clean plate mentality or forcing you to take a bite of something. Because they’re often going to then kind of get into that battle mentality and refuse, even if it’s something maybe they would have tried.”
But you might improve the odds they’ll try something if you get them involved in the process. That means taking them with you to the store to buy groceries, maybe even letting them choose some of the items for dinner, and then also let them help out in the kitchen.
For little kids, that might mean something as simple as washing the vegetables before you start cutting them up. Older kids can chop and mix different ingredients.
“Study after study shows that when kids are involved in the process of selecting their food, preparing their food, that they’re much, much more likely to try something new,” Tucker said. “When they’re involved in that preparation, they’re much more likely to try things. Let them get a little messy. Let them have fun.”
At the same time, make sure you plan ahead and have something you know they’ll eat, no matter what. Even if it’s not a traditional Thanksgiving item, a “safety food,” if you will, can help.
“We’re not going to get into that hangry stage of things, and then they have the option to try one or two new things on the side,” she explained.
“If you know your kid is going to eat the potatoes, great. And then maybe we’ll try a couple other things with it,” she explained. “If you know your kid is going to eat the turkey, great. And maybe we’ll try a couple other things with it, but at least knowing that there’s one safety food there.”
Another thing to keep in mind is that even if you skip lunch and leave room for a big dinner, your kids won’t operate the same way. Feed them on a normal schedule – allowing snacks as well – and that way you know they ate well earlier if they won’t try much at the dinner.
Her final piece of advice is to never, ever use dessert as a bribe.
“It puts that dessert up on a pedestal. It makes it feel like a forbidden food. And you get into that good food, bad food trap,” Tucker said. “We really want to teach our kids that there are foods we want to eat all the time, like whole grains and fruits and vegetables and healthy proteins, and then there’s foods that we want to eat sometimes, like our sweets and our pies, and that’s going to be part of Thanksgiving.”
So relax and enjoy the food you’re looking forward to, and let your kids enjoy the food they’re looking forward to. Because forcing the matter won’t turn out well for anyone.
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