WASHINGTON — The start of school is an exciting time of year, but it’s also one that produces a lot of stress — and not just for busy parents balancing board meetings and bake sales.
Child and family therapist Michele Kambolis says kids these days are more stressed than ever, and as a result, anxiety is popping up more frequently in younger generations.
What’s causing this serious surge in stress? There’s no single answer.
Kambolis says the availability and overuse of technology is likely a contributing factor, as is a change in diet and lack of exercise.
“Childhood has fundamentally changed, and children are more hurried and busier than ever before,” says Kambolis, who is the author of “Generation Stressed: Play-Based Tools to Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety.”
“Lifestyles have changed a lot; diets have changed. Children aren’t getting as much activity, which we know is really key to keeping stress and anxiety at bay.”
Recognizing anxiety in children can be difficult. Symptoms such as increased heart rate and racing thoughts aren’t always visible, and they are often tricky for children to verbalize.
The biggest signs parents can look for are headaches, stomachaches and difficulty sleeping at night.
“Forty-four percent of children and youth say they can’t sleep at night because they’re so stressed,” Kambolis says.
Other symptoms of anxiety include a change in school performance, amplified irritability levels and other new or noticeable behavior problems.
If these signs become recognizable in your child, Kambolis says, the best thing to do is teach your little one about self-care and different ways to self-manage the anxiety.
“When children make room for deep breathing, or writing in a journal, or just talking about what they’re noticing and what they’re feeling, that’s a really key step toward arming them in the face of stress,” Kambolis says.
From there, talk about what’s at the root of the anxiety and problem solve the best way to address the stressor.
Sometimes, it’s as easy as having your child write down his worries on sticky notes. Then, hang the notes in a visible location. Kambolis says this helps to externalize the stressor so the child doesn’t feel like he has to carry his worries on the inside.
It’s also an opportunity to take a close look at your own stress levels. Eighty percent of kids say what stresses them the most is their parents’ stress, Kambolis says.
Sometimes, the best way to keep stress and anxiety at bay is to cancel a soccer practice or skip a piano lesson and let your child have a free afternoon.
“Over-scheduling and a lack of just open, free play time is one of the biggest reasons why children are so stressed,” Kambolis says.
But make sure that free time is spent in a constructive way. Power down the computer, turn off the TV and encourage your child to explore something new in the backyard or the park.
If the weather is less than ideal, open a container of Legos, build a fort or encourage your child to use his imagination.
“Play is imperative to children,” Kambolis says. “Through play, children are learning social skills, they’re learning about the world, they’re learning about themselves, and it’s how identity develops. Without play, children just simply cannot thrive.”
