April is National Donate Life Month and April 5, specifically, is Living Donor Day. So, what’s it like to be the person who literally gives a part of your body to another? And to be the one to receive it?
“People have often said ‘what a gift you gave her.’ And I said no, what you need to understand is I got the gift,” said kidney donor Jean Bunker, “I count it as one of the top blessings of my life.”
Jean’s friend Rebecca Warlow had Kidney disease. It ran in her family.
“My father had kidney disease back in the late ’70s. And at the time, and when my brother was in his mid to late 30s, he developed kidney disease and was on dialysis.” said Rebecca, “Then in 2015, I suddenly got very sick and they determined that my kidneys had also really decreased severely in function and I went on dialysis.”
When talk of needing a transplant came, Jean told her she would donate her kidney.
“I just said ‘I got you.’ I’m going to give you my kidney and if for whatever reason I can’t give it directly to you, I will start a chain. But either way you will have a kidney, we will solve this,” said Jean.
A few years before, Jean had watched a close friend die of cancer.
“I watched her suffer from that and knew that there was nothing I could do to help her. And that’s a very powerless feeling, when there’s nothing that you can do to help someone,” Jean said, “And when Rebecca’s kidneys failed her I knew that I could help I knew that there was something that I could do.”
And she did. It turned out they were a match and could do a direct transfer of the kidney, which they named Marigold, from Jean to Rebecca.
“We were like, we need to have a name for the kidney,” Rebecca said. “And so we started throwing names out. We were landing on flower names. And we eventually just hit on Marigold. She’s been Marigold ever since. All of our friends and family know that she’s Marigold.”
Jean said they believed giving Marigold, the kidney, a name had a more positive feel, and was something they hoped would lead to a successful transplant. They even insisted the medical staff in the operating room at MedStar Georgetown Transplant Institute refer to the kidney by name.
“I said now, when you take this kidney out, you have to say Marigold, you’re going to your new home.” Jean said, ”And I said when you put that kidney in Rebecca you have to refer to her as Marigold.”
And it seems that optimism and positive thinking, and perhaps the name, worked, because Marigold was accepted and working pretty quickly in Rebecca’s body.
“My surgeon told me Marigold worked as soon as they attached Marigold to my body. She was producing urine and worked right away. And that’s not always the case. Sometimes it takes a kidney a little bit of time to decide it’s going to work,” Rebecca said.
In that instant, Rebecca’s life, which had revolved around appointment after appointment for a dozen hours a week of dialysis, was back to normal.
But how about Jean? How was the recovery?
“I was out of the hospital the next day,” Jean said, “I was fatigued. That’s the major thing. I have had other surgeries. I’ve had hernia repair. I’ve given birth to twins. This was actually nothing to me compared to that.”
She says in the couple years since, her life is normal. The only change is that she is cognizant that she is missing one kidney so thinks a little more about what the puts into her body.
She also says she feels continually blessed.
“I would say that there’s the famous quote that it’s in giving that we receive and if you donate, whether it’s kidney or part of a liver, you will receive the greatest gift of your life in yourself as a donor,” Jean said.
And with nearly 100,000 people waiting for a Kidney transplant in the U.S. right now, Rebecca gets teary talking about Jean’s gift to her.
“She saved and prolonged my life. There can be no doubt about it. And you know, I could never find the words to tell you what an amazing person she is,” Rebecca said.
For more information about the living donor program contact the MedStar Georgetown Transplant Institute.
