Valentine’s Day is full of awkward situations for money-conscious Casanovas. They have to navigate the romantic night out, probably with a fixed-price menu at a swanky restaurant. They need to negotiate the gift — of chocolates, jewelry or something else — that can’t be too cheap. And then there’s the card and the flower bouquet — both of which will end up in the trash within a week. What a waste. For frugal-minded folks, the holiday can be full of money minefields.
That’s a feeling Gene Caballero knows all too well. “When I was in high school, I had planned a romantic dinner with my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day,” writes Caballero, co-founder of GreenPal, an online service for finding lawn-care pros, in an email. “When I went to pay, my check card was declined.”
Because he didn’t have a credit card at the time, he had to use the restaurant’s landline phone to call his mom and ask her to pay the bill. “An hour later, my mom arrived and saved the day. Talk about a very awkward Valentine’s Day money story,” he says.
[See: 12 Habits to Help You Take Control of Your Credit.]
Fortunately, you don’t need to spend so aggressively on Valentine’s Day that your mom has to bail you out. Here’s how to mindfully navigate the holiday without looking like a cheapskate.
The romantic dinner. Let’s face it, nobody wants to derail months of careful budgeting with one overpriced dinner. But the pressure to wine and dine your darling is hard to resist.
New beaus who want to wow their date without sinking their budget can employ a few sneaky strategies that save money while splurging on romance. The key: “Go the path less traveled,” says Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert based in San Diego.
When others zig their way to that upscale bistro on Main Street, zag your way to a cozy local bar instead. Or dip into a coffee shop, bakery or snazzy wine bar for a cheaper romantic celebration.
[See: 12 Ways to Save Money on Food.]
Still want to head to that fancy bistro? Opt for a romantic lunch on Valentine’s Day, or choose another night to celebrate without the big crowds and special Valentine’s Day menu. If you choose to do dinner on an alternate night, just be sure to go before the holiday instead of after, so it doesn’t look like an afterthought, says Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas.
One rule of thumb is to make sure that you can buy your date anything on the menu without crippling your finances. “If you’re taking them, you should be able to pay for whatever is on that menu,” Gottsman says. And, as always, the person who did the asking out should do the paying.
[See: 12 Ways to Be a More Mindful Spender.]
One money-saving faux pas to avoid: Using a gift certificate, like a Groupon, to slash the price of the Valentine’s Day dinner. “For Valentine’s Day, don’t use a gift card,” Gottsman says. Gift certificates are allowed on more casual dates and when you’re further into a relationship — so save it for then.
Buying the gift. What triggers more pressure than the Valentine’s Day gift? Whether it’s jewelry, chocolates or something else, there’s often the expectation to spend big to show the magnitude of your love. Push back against that impulse, frugal friends, and focus on the thoughtfulness of your gift, not the price tag. “If you don’t have a lot of cash but want to do something special, do something [unique for] them,” Gottsman says.
Think baked goods, a special photo in a picture frame or even a hand-written poem (if you can get away with it without looking corny). Use the Valentine’s Day gift to show that you do, in fact, pay attention to their stories, likes and interests — and that you cherish your time and memories together.
The price minimum on a Valentine’s Day gift is really up to your discretion, Gottsman says. “Use your price range, and make it special,” she says. “At any price range, it can be special.”
Another money faux pas to avoid at all costs: Don’t regift an item to your darling on Valentine’s day, no matter how much money it saves you. If you’re caught, no amount of cash saved will rescue your battered relationship.
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Cheapskate or Money-Smart? Navigate These Sticky Valentine’s Day Situations originally appeared on usnews.com
