Alec Baldwin being stuck at home didn’t stop him from playing President Donald Trump one last time this season.
“Hello, everyone, I’m Principal O’Grady. Welcome to the St. Mary Magdalene By The Expressway class of 2020 virtual graduation,” Kate McKinnon said to a zoom conference of the entire class playing students. “I know this isn’t how you expected your high school career to come to an end, but we’re all making sacrifices. I have had to share my child’s Adderall with him.”
McKinnon’s principal told the class that she tried to get the class’s preferred speakers of former President Barack Obama and former first lady Michelle Obama, but they said no as did the next five choices.
“So I moved on to your eighth choice, receiving one vote, President Donald Trump,” she said.
Baldwin’s Trump, wearing a red “Make America Great Again” hat, appeared on the call from home.
“Congratulations to the class of Covid-19,” he said.
Baldwin’s faux president told the class that he was honored to be their “valedictator.”
“But today’s not about me, it’s about you,” he said. “Although I should spend a little time on me first because I’ve been treated very poorly, even worse than they treated Lincoln.”
One of the students, played by Chris Redd, pointed out that Lincoln was assassinated.
“Lincoln would agree,” Baldwin’s Trump said. “He’s probably smiling up at me from Hell right now.”
Baldwin’s Trump explained that the class is very lucky to be graduating right now because there are many exciting new jobs out there like “grocery store bouncer,” “porch pirate” and “amateur nurse.”
“I’m going to make sure colleges are open in the fall,” he told the seniors. “Online college is a scam, and I should know. My online college was ranked No. 1 craziest scam by US News every year it was open.”
Finally, Baldwin’s Trump gave the class some words of wisdom.
“Surround yourself with the worst people you can find so that way you’ll always shine,” he said. “If you don’t understand something, just call it stupid … and live everyday like it’s your last because we’re going to let this virus run wild.”
He also told the class his favorite inspirational quote.
“Reach for the stars because if you’re a star, they’ll let you do it,” Baldwin’s Trump said.
Baldwin then broke character.
“Taped from my home, one last time, it’s Saturday night,” he said, opening the show.