In the last NFL Recap of the regular season, we had nescient coaching finales, long playoff droughts end and a massive choke job. Every team gets its turn in Week 17.
Here’s a recap of Week 17.
Ravens 27 You’d think the Dean Pees retirement happened before this game because that wasn’t the vaunted Baltimore defense we saw on Sunday. Giving up 31 points and 359 yards (most notably, the 49-yard game-winning TD to Tyler Boyd) at home in a win-and-you’re-in-the-playoffs scenario against a losing team (the same one they shut out in the season-opener!) is inexcusable. This loss cost Eric Weddle a ton of money, but it might ultimately cost John Harbaugh his job; a third straight non-playoff year doesn’t sit well after all the talk from his locker room of how his team was going to take the postseason by storm. If this really was the end of the Marvin Lewis era in Cincinnati, it was a good way to go out: Two straight wins against teams with a playoff berth on the line. This should be an interesting offseason in Cincy. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images
Dolphins 16 The longest playoff drought in North American professional sports is over! Buffalo’s 17 year nightmare ends thanks to Baltimore’s massive choke job and despite the ill-fated Nathan Peterman experiment. Now Bills fans have a week to enjoy this before this reality sets in: The last time they made the playoffs, they went on the road to play a now-AFC South team that ended badly for them. And how did the Jay Cutler Experiment turn out in Miami? About how you’d expect from one of the most overrated QBs of his time: 19 TDs, 14 INTs, and a 80.9 QB rating in 13 (for real) starts. Y’all can’t tell me Colin Kaepernick couldn’t have done better than that. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
Titans 15 Tennessee found their way back to the postseason after an 8-year absence, meaning four of the league’s six longest playoff droughts ended this year. But the Titans better bring their September offense to Kansas City next week instead of their December one or their postseason return will be more like a cameo. Jacksonville backs into the playoffs with two straight losses in which Blake Bortles has reverted back to being a liability. Leonard Fournette — the Jags’ first rookie 1,000 rusher since Fred Taylor in 1998 — better carry the ball early and often against a porous Bills defense next week. (AP Photo/Mark Zaleski)
AP Photo/Mark Zaleski
Falcons 22 Atlanta got in the end zone just once against their division rival but they did what they had to do to win and get in the playoffs. Here’s hoping they were just saving their touchdown mojo for a fun shootout with the Rams next week in Los Angeles. I know Carolina was playing without three key starters but Cam Newton better shake off the stink of this performance … or else he and the Panthers are getting blown out in New Orleans next week. (AP Photo/David Goldman)
AP Photo/David Goldman
Rams 13 It turns out Los Angeles didn’t need this game so resting their key starters actually looks like a good move now that the reigning NFC champs are coming to town for the wild card round. Though Todd Gurley basically rested his MVP case by sitting this week out, another monster performance in his playoff debut would be a great closing statement — and necessary considering the Rams have just six players with playoff experience. Meanwhile, San Francisco has to be really feeling themselves. The trade for Jimmy Garoppolo completely changed the trajectory of their season and perception, going 6-1 since the deal was made with Garoppolo winning all five of his starts. This 49ers-Rams rivalry looks like it’s going to be between the best of the NFC West. (AP Photo/Rick Scuteri)
AP Photo/Rick Scuteri
Seahawks 24 If Bruce Arians is really stepping down in Arizona, this is the way to go: Beat your hated rival in your home away from home for your franchise-record 50th win. The cool coach with the Kangol hats will be missed. Remember Seattle’s much-acclaimed home-field advantage? This year the Seahawks went 4-4 at home (two of those losses came against non-playoff teams) and Russell Wilson’s streak of starting a playoff game in each of his first five seasons is over. This could be the beginning of the end of their reign over the NFC West. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
Broncos 24 In perhaps the most ridiculous stat of the week, Patrick Mahomes ended Kansas City’s 492 game drought without a win by a starting QB they drafted. That’s right … the Chiefs have been renting or buying used QBs since Todd Blackledge in 1987. They’d better hope Mahomes can keep winning because Lemon Laws don’t apply to football players (just ask the Browns). Paxton Lynch wasn’t bad … but Kirk Cousins will be so much better for Denver. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)
Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images
Chargers 30 Jack Del Rio is out in Oakland and now 16 years after the Raiders traded Jon Gruden to Tampa Bay, it sounds like they’re stealing him back. Hurrah? Los Angeles didn’t get the help they needed to make the playoffs but their six wins in their final seven games lead me to believe this team can make good on their playoff promise in 2018. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
Photo by Harry How/Getty Images
Bucs 31 Even though his yardage is way down, Drew Brees set an NFL record by completing 72 percent of his passes this season (a record he’s broken multiple times) and New Orleans is just fine with the future Hall-of-Famer taking a back seat to the Saints’ dynamic duo in the backfield: Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram became the first pair to surpass 1,500 scrimmage yards in a season and figure to be too much for Carolina to handle next week. Tampa Bay is sticking with Dirk Koetter as coach, but he’s gotta be on the instant hot seat in 2018. I know they had some injuries and the rest of the division is in the playoffs but the Bucs going 5-11 with this much talent is a joke. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images
Giants 18 Big Blue was the big winner of Week 17. They avoided going winless in-conference and managed to lock up the second overall pick in the upcoming draft. Orleans Darkwa picked a good time to run wild … because next year it’ll be Saquon Barkley frolicking through the Redskins defense. One of the biggest losers of Week 17 had to be Kirk Cousins. For the second straight year, he got held to 10 points and threw a killer pick at the end of a season-ending loss to the Giants. Then again, he’s still going to get crazy paid to play with a better supporting cast in a city like Denver or Jacksonville next year — so maybe it doesn’t really matter. Kirk out. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)
AP Photo/Mark Lennihan
Eagles 0 This meaningless eyesore was the lowest scoring game in the history of this NFC East rivalry and just the second game in the Super Bowl era without a made field goal or extra point. Yet somehow the final score was barely higher than Nick Foles’ QB rating (9.3). Philly looks like a one-and-done playoff team and Dallas could look like a lot different (and less colorful) without Dez Bryant next year. (AP Photo/Chris Szagola)
AP Photo/Chris Szagola
Steelers 28 Pittsburgh did what any 13-3 Super Bowl contender should: Beat a woebegone Cleveland team with their junior varsity team. The Steelers better hope the Killer B’s don’t lose their sting from the long layoff. And congrats, Browns fans. Your team is the first in NFL history with multiple 15-loss seasons, just the fifth team in NFL history to go winless in a season, and only the second to go 0-16. The good news is it can only go up from here. Right? Right? (Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images)
Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images
Patriots 26 Seven 13-win seasons (second-most in the Super Bowl era). A seventh 1-seed in the playoffs (most by any team since 1990). Tom Brady is the MVP favorite and the Patriots have the first trio of players to reach 1,000 scrimmage yards. Hell, they’ll probably get some quality performances from James Harrison even though he agitated his way out of Pittsburgh. It’s safe to say everyone outside of New England is sick of the Patriots, right? I’m glad the Jets took care of Todd Bowles. Winning five games with this (Staten) Island of Misfit Toys is like winning nine or ten games elsewhere so he deserves a chance to see this thing through. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images
Vikings 23 Minnesota cruised to their second most wins in franchise history even though they played a 3rd-string QB most of the season and lost their stud rookie RB—and in a year when the 1-seed is vulnerable enough to reasonably think the Vikings will still host the NFC title game. If this isn’t their year to break through to the Super Bowl, I don’t know when is. Meanwhile, the Bears are who we thought they were. Chicago would be wise to let John Fox off the hook and find an offensive-minded coach that’ll get the most out of Mitchell Trubisky. Think Sean McVay and Jared Goff. (AP Photo/Bruce Kluckhohn)
AP Photo/Bruce Kluckhohn
Lions 35 I know it comes with an asterisk but it’s worth noting that Detroit has swept Green Bay for the first time since 1991. Count it as one of the few positives in a season that fell just short of a postseason trip. And celebrate Packers fans! You’re finally free of Dom Capers! (AP Photo/Duane Burleson)
AP Photo/Duane Burleson
Colts 22 As expected, Indy snapping their 6-game slide wasn’t enough to save coach Chuck Pagano’s job. So now the Colts will start over with a new coach, (likely) without their old, reliable running back, and (maybe) a new quarterback since Andrew Luck hasn’t been healthy in two years. The horseshoe may be in for more hard luck. Of course, Houston isn’t in much better shape; they were bad enough to earn the 4th overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft but it belongs to Cleveland because of a trade. The Texans better hope Deshaun Watson’s recovery from knee surgery goes more like Adrian Peterson’s than RG3’s. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images
