When your child wakes up at night and is upset, crying and shaken, you will do almost anything to help them calm down, feel safe and comforted and get back to sleep. But sometimes your child is inconsolable and in the morning has no recollection of the event from the night before. How can this be?
There are actually two very different nighttime events to consider: night terrors and nightmares.
Nightmares
Nightmares are more common for children than night terrors.
When your child has a nightmare, she will look to you for comfort from her disturbing dream, and she will know you when she sees you. She can talk to you about the dream, at least in part. And getting back to sleep may take a while because of the scary images or thoughts she may be fighting off.
[Read: Sleep Schedules for Children 6 Months to 5 Years Old.]
Nightmares are a part of normal development. They often peak at 2 to 3 years of age when children have rich imaginations and some trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality. After difficult or traumatizing events, children often suffer from nightmares as well.
There are some things you can do to lessen the nightmares, although completely eliminating them is unlikely.
— Avoid any scary stories, TV shows or images, particularly before bed. Children are more sensitive to scary images (in videos and books or described in audio stories) than you may realize or than they let on.
— Avoid games that frighten your child, even in fun.
— When your child calls out to you, respond to her quickly and compassionately. Assure her that she’s safe and that you’ll protect her. If she asks, check behind doors and under beds and show her that she is safe without reinforcing the idea of “monsters.” Take care to not belittle her fears; instead offer comfort and your presence until she goes back to sleep.
— Some multivitamins disturb children’s sleep, so avoid them at bedtime.
— Be sure your child is getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep leads to sleep disturbances and possibly nightmares.
— Finally, check with your pediatrician to make sure any medication your child is on is not interfering with her sleep.
| Night Terrors | Nightmares |
| These generally occur in the first two to three hours of sleep. | Usually these occur later at night or in the early morning. |
| The child is upset and inconsolable but not awake. | The child is upset but awake when telling you about what she experienced. |
| The child won’t remember it in the morning. | The child will remember the event. |
| He may not recognize you. | She knows you when she’s upset and talking about the dream. |
Source: Kim West, The Sleep Lady
Night Terrors
The symptoms and solutions for night terrors are quite different from those for nightmares. When a child is experiencing a night terror, he may scream, appear anxious, sweat, experience an elevated heart rate and be inconsolable. The incident can last anywhere from five to 25 minutes before subsiding.
What can be maddening for the parent is that you have no way of calming the child down. Your child is extremely upset but is not consoled by your comfort. In fact, it is better not to interfere at all because it’s possible that you can make it worse or make it last longer. It’s also frustrating because children do not usually remember the episode in the morning, so there’s no way to talk through the situation.
[Read: How to Smoothly Transition Your Child From the Crib to a Bed.]
Night terrors occur during non-REM sleep — not during deep sleep — and usually within two hours of going to sleep. These are not bad dreams, because they don’t occur during dream sleep.
A few interesting notes:
— Night terrors can occur during a developmental milestone.
— Night terrors seem to be more common in boys.
— Night terrors occur in only 5 percent of all children.
— Kids are more likely to have night terrors if a parent had them as a child, or if a parent had a partial arousal sleep disorder like sleepwalking.
Typical causes for night terrors are sleep deprivation and stress from factors such as changing time zones, sleep apnea or fever.
Helping Your Child
Even though intervention during the night terror may be counterproductive, there are things that you can do to help your child.
— During the night terror, monitor your child but do not try to verbally or physically calm them down as it can worsen the episode.
— Make sure your child is physically safe during the night terror.
— Put your child to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal.
— Keep a regular and earlier bedtime routine and sleep schedule.
— Don’t bring up the incident in the morning. He won’t remember it most likely, and it could just cause further stress or embarrassment.
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
A Possible Intervention
If your child is having night terrors two to three times a week at predictable times during the night (possibly two hours after going to sleep), then you can do the following:
— Keep a sleep log to determine the exact timing of his night terrors.
— Plan on the night terrors taking at least seven to 10 days to diminish.
— Wake your child 15 minutes prior to the time he typically has an episode so that he mumbles, moves or rolls over.
— Do this every night for seven to 10 nights in a row.
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Night Terrors Versus Nightmares: Know the Difference originally appeared on usnews.com
