It’s a powerful time to be a woman in America. Women’s marches and the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements are all opportunities for girls and young women to see the impact of words and actions. It’s an amazing time, and we are perched on the precipice of change. So why then are so many girls continuing to struggle with standing up and speaking up for themselves? It’s time we change that.
Girls are often strong and confident, and fully believe in themselves when they are in elementary school and heading into middle school. Frequently during middle school, however, that starts to change. Many girls lose their “edge” around this time, often believing that they are somehow “less than” their male counterparts. This confidence gap starts early and can carry over into adulthood for many women.
[Read: 5 Skills We Should Be Teaching Kids to Grow Their Confidence.]
According to writer and activist Soraya Chemaly, who directs the Women’s Media Center Speech Project, girls are ceding public space before they even have a chance to engage. By the time boys and girls leave high school and enter college, boys are twice as likely to say they are prepared to run for office. As teenagers, girls are six times as likely to experience anxiety and depression.
In an era when women are gaining their voices, it’s time for girls to gain theirs, too. Here’s how you can help your daughter find her voice:
Teach self-belief. Confidence starts with trust. If you believe in your daughter’s abilities and trust that she is capable, she will start to believe it, too. Push her outside her comfort zone with small tasks or activities, and praise her effort along with her accomplishments. The more she can internalize belief in herself, the greater her self-esteem will be.
Support failure. The best way to learn is to fail. Girls are often afraid of failing because they think it reflects poorly on them. As a result, they may not take risks. Share times when you have failed and what you learned from those experiences. Point out times that your daughter has failed and how she succeeded after making some changes. Failure is a gift to use. Don’t allow your daughter to shy away from it.
[Read: 9 Ways to Cultivate Courage in Kids.]
Teach her to know her worth. Girls feel less entitled to take up space than their male counterparts. They seem to shrink when they hit middle school, frequently over-apologizing for just being present. During this crucial time, girls begin to raise their hands less, let boys take the lead more, and start to lose their confidence and self-worth. Encourage her to speak up. Teach her how to be heard and get what she wants by modeling how to do it yourself. Rather than complain about your meal not being right, call over the waiter and have it corrected. She will learn from your example.
Avoid gender roles. Too often the message girls still get is that certain toys, activities or games are for boys and others are for girls. Toys don’t have to have a gender assigned to them. Neither do jobs or other activities. Encourage your daughter to follow her interests — whatever those may be — and figure out what she enjoys.
Encourage her to find her passion. Expose your daughter to many different things and let her decide what she likes and what excites her. She may surprise you. The more excited she is to participate in something, the greater the likelihood that she will stay with it, building confidence and self-esteem along the way.
[Read: How to Raise Resilient Girls.]
It is an amazing time to be a girl, witnessing the shift to address gender inequality and seeing women stand up for themselves shows today’s young women all that they can achieve. So it’s all the more important that we teach girls how to find their voices, and to keep their voices loud and strong.
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How to Help Your Daughter Find Her Voice originally appeared on usnews.com
