When Mercedes Samudio, a clinical social worker in Huntington Beach, California, heard newly appointed White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s perspective on spanking children — he suggested it could “cure mental health issues” — it struck a few chords.
The remarks stigmatized and dismissed mental illness, Samudio says, while suggesting parental culpability in mental illness. For parenting coach Samudio, who runs a consultancy called The Parenting Skill, the incoming strategist’s comments capped a week of election aftershocks. So Samudio decided to turn her consternation into a healing initiative: Via online conversation with therapists nationwide, she came up with a simple Twitter hashtag called #healersforamerica, where she invites people to share their concerns and anxiety over what’s being called the most divisive election in American history.
A Nation in Distress
“I’ve been practicing for 18 years, and I’ve been through a lot of election cycles. I’ve never seen an election cycle stress a wide swath of the population,” says Nancy Molitor, a clinical psychologist in Wilmette, Illinois. “By the end of October, almost every one of my patients was coming into the sessions, and one of the first things they wanted to talk about was the election. I even had people come in because of the election, especially when they’d had arguments with friends or family members, or loss of sleep and appetite.”
In October, the American Psychological Association released survey results showing that over half of Americans considered the election “a significant source of stress.” Millennials (those ages 19 to 35) and the elderly were most stressed.
Molitor, who is one of APA’s public education coordinators, says she has clients in both age groups. “Young people are very concerned about immigration and diversity issues — what will happen to their friend who is here illegally? People who are gay are worried about gay marriage,” she says. Seniors, meanwhile, “worry they will die and won’t get to see whether we are going to survive as a country. They have anxieties about their grandchildren.”
[See: How to Find the Best Mental Health Professional for You.]
Social Media Feeds Stress
Clearly, not everyone is upset about Trump’s victory. After all, he won because 59,521,401 people voted for him — so presumably many of those people are happy. “I have a few clients who voted for Trump,” Molitor says. “They said, ‘Now I can finally come out of the closet. I feel relieved.'”
For many, the presidential election was shocking not only because of its outcome, but because of what it revealed about “an underside of America that hadn’t been reported on,” Molitor says. “There’s a whole lot of America that hasn’t been tapped into or understood.”
That doesn’t reference the minority of people perpetuating hate crimes; rather, Molitor is referring to Americans who feel chronically disenfranchised. Social media, she adds, amplifies the divisiveness. “Social media doesn’t allow for empathy. What we really need to do is sit down with people.”
Adds Mary McNaughton-Cassill, a psychology professor at the University of Texas–San Antonio: “I think we’re in a dead-end cul-de-sac if we say, ‘Trump supporters don’t make sense.'”
[See: 10 Tips to Lighten Up and Laugh.]
Opening Wounds
“It’s opened up a lot of wounds for people,” Molitor says, adding that one of her patients, who is in a wheelchair, was devastated by Trump’s taunts of the disabled. She also reports women clients who have been victims of sexual abuse and are coping with painful memories triggered by Trump’s derogatory comments about women.
“It’s kind of like any vulnerability has had the opportunity to be pounced on,” says Sarah Herstich, a licensed social worker in Willow Grove, Pennsylvania. Herstich, who runs an online counseling and coaching service for millennials, says a lot of people are grieving what could have been: breaking the glass ceiling with a Hillary Clinton victory.
Molitor compares the shock of Trump’s win — and loss of the much-anticipated Clinton win — to the grieving process. The various stages include shock, denial, anger and anxiety. While much of the shock and denial have dissipated, a lot of anger and anxiety remain, she adds. “People are getting more agitated because they see who is being appointed,” Molitor says. “The more uncertainty there is, the more anxiety there will be in the minds of most people who didn’t vote for him.”
That might not resolve until Trump is inaugurated on Jan. 20, she says, at which point, the anxiety might turn to anger for some people. “Anger is usually a better emotion to have to struggle with because it can be channeled,” she says. “Anxiety drains you. It makes you inactive.”
[See: 10 Ways to Break a Bad Mood.]
Healing and Moving Forward
Instead of letting anxiety get the best of you, Molitor continues, take a step back and ask yourself what, exactly, is causing your anxiety. “Get [your anxieties] out of your head and on paper. Then you can say, ‘Is there anything I can do about them?'”
“A lot of people are upset they didn’t vote,” she continues, but instead of dwelling on that, find a cause and actively work toward it on a local level. Another immediate step toward healing is finding your tribe, or seeking out people who have the same values as you do.
McNaughton-Cassill uses a three-part approach called ACT: accept reality, create a vision and take action. Defeat is also an opportunity for people to stand up for what they believe in, which makes them stronger, she adds.
For Herstich — one of the therapists in the group where Samudio’s #healersforamerica initiative originated — collective healing starts with self-care. “I tell people to get a grasp on what is being triggered and take care of themselves before they put themselves out there to talk with people they don’t agree with,” she says.
Samudio has heard from a lot of parents puzzled over how to respond to young children who have absorbed Trump’s remarks as the kind of talk their parents have forbidden. She says she created the hashtag as a safe haven from social media itself. “It’s also a way to say that not everyone is on social media spewing anger and frustration. There are healers out in the world who are about connecting and healing,” she says, adding that regardless of how people voted, she wants to send the message that, “You’re not alone over the next four years.”
More from U.S. News
Apps to Mind Your Mental Health
11 Simple, Proven Ways to Optimize Your Mental Health
Am I Just Sad — or Actually Depressed?
How to Heal Your Post-Election Emotional Wounds originally appeared on usnews.com
