I love yoga — I’ve been doing it for over a decade. As good as I feel from it, I’ve never been able to cross over into meditation. My mind is like popcorn, going from one thing to the next, and I actually like it like that.
The idea of just trying to stop my thoughts or control them makes my mind work faster — the opposite of what I’m supposed to do. I surrendered to the fact that meditation would never be for me.
But then I had a chance to interview Barb Schmidt, author of “The Practice: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace and Uncovering Happiness,” who promised she could make me — a lazy, hopeless meditator — get into the silent groove.
After talking with her, I gave myself one to five minutes in the morning of just nothing. No phone. No music. Just breath. My thoughts would come, and I would turn them into a cloud at the beach and watch it float away. Every day I did this, I got better and better at seeing soft, puffy clouds instead of popcorn. I loved it. Doing this practice in the morning helps me use it when I need it — like when I want to tell off the driver in front of me, or yell at my daughter for digging play doh into the carpet or pull my hair out looking at the dishes in the sink.
Here, my interview with Schmidt shows how she helped me find my zen:
What would you say to the person who thinks, “I really need a sense of calm in my life, but I don’t think meditation would work for me.”
I hear this from many people. I have found the obstacles are that most think meditation is to help us stop thinking, or there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, or they have a certain expectation and when it doesn’t happen they will say, “This is not for me.” A big part of my life’s work is to demystify the word meditation and get everyone to try it. Meditation is simply sitting with yourself, placing your attention on your breath, and when the thoughts come into the mind, instead of answering them or talking to them, you gently bring your attention back to the breath. This is the whole practice. We are not trying to do anything — we are trying to sit and be. It is in this not doing and being where the calmness and sense of well-being comes. In reality meditation is a “training of the mind.” We sit each day learning how to be with ourselves, connecting within to our source of love, power and courage. Meditation will work for anyone who continues to practice.
What would you say to the person who thinks, “Meditate? Sure, when I’m done doing the other 100 things I have to do but have no time to do.”
I say meditate first thing in the morning for five minutes to plug into you before you plug into the outside world. This grounding within centers you for whatever comes your way during the day. You are preparing yourself to take on those 100 things that need to be done with certainty and calm. Having connected with you before going out into the day gives you the best chance of accomplishing the things on your list that absolutely have to be done and helps you discern what can be crossed off because it’s interfering with your desire to be present for the people and activities in your day. You actually start becoming the “boss” of your own life. Meditation is not something we have “to do.” Quite the opposite: It gives us a chance to just be and breathe.
Briefly describe the three-part framework and how they work together to benefit the person.
“The Practice” is structured in a way that helps us bring more focus to the individual moments that make up our day by dividing it into three parts: morning meditation, living present and letting go. From the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep, “The Practice” offers tools to stop, breathe and focus our attention on our lives. I call it a recipe book for living our lives in the present moment; in the now. The day is not one long day, but it’s made of moments — and these moments are our only opportunity to make choices that lead us where we want to go and who we want to be. We are no longer feeling that we are at the mercy of the external world because we connect within to our source of power, love and courage.
Share one of your most memorable client epiphanies, stories or problems and how meditation helped them.
One of my dearest friends has been meditating for many years and is an avid hiker. She has been on some seriously intense hikes. She was in Europe hiking, and half way up, she got sick. She could feel a cold coming on, and it was getting worse and worse. The guide said, “We can’t go back — you will have to keep going because weather is moving in.” She started to get very scared, feeling that she couldn’t make it. She started thinking about her family and the thought that she may never see them again. Her mind started racing with these negative, fearful thoughts, completely out of control. In the moment of that extreme fear, she took a deep breath, said to herself, “I can do this, I have to do this,” and stopped letting the thoughts in her mind dictate what would happen to her and kept bringing her attention to her breath, every minute of every step on the hike up the mountain. Each time the mind went to a past memory or future fear, she would bring her attention back to her breath. Her years of meditating, the training actually, gave her the power she needed to keep in the present moment, not thinking about anything but placing one foot in front of the other and moving up the mountain. She made it to the top and broke down in tears and laughter! She told me when she got home, “Meditation saved my life that day!”
Can you share meditation tips if you have 10 minutes, five minutes or less, and one minute or less?
Meditation is all about a practice — a consistent daily practice. It truly is in the practice where the transformation happens. So commit to yourself that you will spend time every day before you launch out into the world by sitting with yourself in silence. Whether you sit for one, five, or thirty minutes it’s the same practice; you are sitting in a comfortable, alert position, closing your eyes and placing your attention gently on your breath. As the thoughts come you let them pass through your mind, not answering them or pushing them away. The whole of your meditation time is about this sitting; this learning how to be. I believe it’s all about the consistency of a daily practice and not about the amount of time spent. So I say once you’ve made the decision to meditate, you’ve done the hardest part. If you’ve never meditated, choose five minutes; set your alarm for five minutes earlier than you need and sit, “plugging into your source of courage and love, before plugging into the day.” You will gradually see that this first five minutes of the day becomes such a part of your routine, like brushing your teeth, you could not imagine not including it in your schedule. You will know your meditation is working when, in your daily life, you are able to be patient instead of anxious, loving instead of unkind and compassionate instead of judgmental.
Barb Schmidt is an international speaker, philanthropist, spiritual mentor and best-selling author of “The Practice.” She has devoted more than 30 years to her studies with inspirational leaders such as Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, Scott Peck, Buddhist nun Tenzin Palmo, Thomas Merton scholar James Finley and Marianne Williamson.
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Meditation for Lazy People originally appeared on usnews.com
