Montgomery County issued a proclamation declaring February to be “Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.”
Smita Varia, the acting director of the county’s Family Justice Center, told WTOP that data from a recent survey shows that one in 11 Maryland teenagers has reported that they’ve been in a physically abusive relationship.
Varia said the Expect Respect program offers workshops for kids from 6th grade through 12th grade, and provides age appropriate presentations on healthy and unhealthy relationships.
For middle school students, she explains, “We talk about both healthy friendships and healthy relationships.”
For example, Varia said at the 6th grade level the focus would be on friendships, and what’s healthy and what’s not. In that case, she said red flags could include, “bullying or harassment or just not treating friends appropriately.”
For older teenagers, the focus would shift to dating behaviors and being able to identify healthy relationships from those that turn toxic.
Red flags, she said, include “love bombing” — when a dating partner expresses extremely intense feelings within a very short period of time.
“While that sounds romantic, what happens is that person starts using that love-bombing as a type of manipulation,” said Varia.
Other signs teenagers need to look out for is a partner who tends to monopolize their time, “keeping them away from friends and family and other support networks,” said Varia.
Technology can play a role in unhealthy relationships as well. Such behaviors include obsessing over their partners, “tracking what they’re doing on their phones, reading their text messages,” and sending a barrage of text messages in rapid succession.
“That’s another way that the abuser always wants the victim to be thinking about them,” said Varia.
In the sessions on dating violence, there are also discussions of how to get help, and how to help a friend who may be involved in an unhealthy relationship.
Varia said friends are advised to remain supportive, even if the victim in the relationship seems to return to their abusive relationship. “Research has shown that it takes about six to seven times to go around what we call the ‘cycle of abuse,’ before they leave permanently.”
In the Expect Respect and Choose Respect programs, Varia said the focus is on exploring what a healthy relationship looks like and discussions include using examples from pop culture, whether it’s movies, television or music.
Right now, the county is conducting a contest where students from 6th through 12th grades can produce a 60-second video designed to promote awareness of dating violence. Examples of topics that can be covered could be examples of healthy relationships, or how to help a friend.
The deadline for the submissions is Sunday, Feb. 16. On April 6, the county will hold “Respect Fest” at the Wheaton Community Recreation Center, where the contest winners will be announced.
Ways to find help are available online.
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