Any marriage can be challenging, and a new study shows American interracial and interethnic couples are optimistic about their relationships, despite ongoing societal hurdles.
More than half of the interracial and interethnic couples surveyed in a University of Maryland School of Social Work study felt things have been getting better over the past five years, from 2017 to 2022.
“A little bit over 55% percent of our sample said things were getting a little better or much better. About 32% said things had not really changed, and about one in eight said things were really getting worse for interracial couples,” said Geoffrey Greif, a University of Maryland, Baltimore professor who holds a doctorate in social work.
The survey of 413 partners was published in the December edition of Social Work Research, in a paper entitled “Interracial and Interethnic Marriages: Given Recent History Have Things Been Getting Better?” The study was headed by Greif, private clinician Victoria Stubbs and retired Maryland social work professor Michael Wooley.
The study was conducted during COVID, “so there was a fair amount of anti-Asian feeling, we were struggling with George Floyd and other Black men and women who had been killed, and we also had been in the midst — then and now — of issues from the border,” Greif said.
What helped interracial, interethnic couples feel optimistic?
Greif said couples from different races and ethnicities that were able to listen to each other were more likely to be able to navigate the challenges, according to the survey.
“The skill of being able to understand where your spouse has come from, what their past experience has been, and to not see that as a threat to yourself, but more being able to listen and be able to respond and be supportive,” was important, Greif said. “Whether or not you happen to agree with them or not is not an issue — this is their lived experience, and we all need to learn to listen.”
Couples who intentionally sought out social groups and settings with other mixed couples, or lived in a community with other multiracial or multiethnic families benefited, Greif said. Couples with extended family support were at an advantage.
Surprisingly, couples who grew up in a family that discouraged marrying someone of a different race or ethnicities also expressed feelings of optimism.
“If still decide to do it, and you receive support from your family eventually, you may have seen an incredible reversal or incredible growth in family members to whom you are the closest,” Greif said.
Or, if the parents never accept the spouse, “I think the ‘us against the world’ is in play in these marriages — actually it’s in play in many marriages, whether or not one is marrying across race.”
“The heart loves what one loves,” Greif said.
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