WASHINGTON — Pierre Jimenez’s new K Street coffee shop serves two things he says D.C. needs more of: caffeine and humor.
“[D.C.] is a very serious-minded town,” Jimenez says.
But he’s hoping his new business, Roasted, can help lighten the mood.
The cafe, which sits directly below The Washington Post and just a few blocks from the White House, is a coffee shop that takes aim at the politics of the town.
Inside, baristas tend to drinks such as the Business Card Breve (“It’s like a latte, but with half and half the networked value”), the Incumbent Iced Coffee (“You’ll just want it again and again … or maybe you just can’t get rid of it”) and the Martin O’Malley Mint Mocha (“Its minty freshness will help you even when you meet ‘unidentified men’ that happen to be presidential candidates”).
John Oliver and Steven Colbert dominate the TV screens and chalkboards throughout the space poke fun at politicos. Even the mugs that hold the locally sourced Compass Coffee display satirical statements.
Jimenez says he decided to go with a political satire theme for his coffee shop as a way to differentiate his business from others in the area.
“We’ve got to give people an experience that’s a little bit different,” he says. “We need something that’s all about political fun, political satire — just hamming it up. And there’s plenty of content [in this city], that’s for sure.”
Unlike many coffee shops in the District, Roasted is not hurting for square feet. Jimenez shares the space — which he fills with a pingpong table, board games and big, comfy couches — with the nightclub Capitale.
(Hint: Don’t plan a trip to Roasted during the weekend, unless you’re looking to trade in your cappuccino and witty jokes for Champagne and flashing lights. Roasted is only open during the week.)
“We are drawing quite a difference between our crowd and their crowd,” Jimenez says about the partnership.
Roasted currently doesn’t offer food, but Jimenez says he’s in the process of bringing a few local bakers on board to sell some of their pastries at his outpost.
There is free Wi-Fi, however, and Jimenez encourages customers to get comfortable and stay for a while. When the weather cooperates, there’s also plenty of space to lounge on the front patio.
Jimenez says he and his employees are continually looking for new ways to introduce political satire into the concept, and is open to the public’s suggestions to create a fun environment.
“We want to make sure everyone walks out with a smile on their face and quality brew in their hand.”
Roasted, 1301 K Street Suite 103, is open Monday through Friday from 7:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Correction: Earlier, the story stated Jimenez is a former Marine. This has been corrected. The founders of Compass Coffee, the company through which Roasted sources its coffee, was started by two former Marines.
