How can you ensure your healthy gifts are received the right way? Psychologists and gift-giving researchers (yes, there are actually professionals who study this) recommend seven presents — and how to package them.
Naughty or nice?
A few years ago, Charlotte Markey’s husband renewed her gym membership for Christmas. She loved it. “It was doing me a favor,” she says. That same gift, though, might nearly cause another couple to split if, unlike Markey, the recipient hadn’t asked for it. “Once you’re offended, it’s more likely they’re like, ‘I’m not getting on that treadmill — you’re supposed to love me no matter what,'” says Markey, a psychology professor at Rutgers University who studies how relationships affect health behaviors. So how can you ensure your healthy gifts are received the right way? Psychologists and gift-giving researchers (yes, there are actually professionals who study this) recommend seven presents — and how to package them:
1. Athleisure
Who doesn’t love athleisure — aka clothes that are as acceptable in a cafe as they are useful in the gym? Gift givers should like this hybrid type of apparel, too, since recipients can choose to work out in it — or do pretty much anything else. Chances are, though, they’ll opt for that yoga class or walk around town since gear you love can boost your desire to work out, as well your performance. “One thing that’s definitely universal,” says Rachel Hershenberg, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University in Atlanta, “is you feel more confident if you show up in something you like.”
(AP Photo/Richard Drew)
AP Photo/Richard Drew
2. A health book with broad appeal
Hershenberg, who researches and treats depression, wrote the book “Activating Happiness: A Jump-Start Guide to Overcoming Low Motivation, Depression, or Just Feeling Stuck” with a clear goal: to appeal to people with clinical depression as much as people who just sometimes feel down (in other words, everyone). Any self-help book geared to a broad audience is a safer gift bet than one that seems to call out the recipient’s problems, says Hershenberg, who recommends adding a note like “this book really helped me” to normalize the challenges it addresses. “You don’t want to be in the habit of diagnosing a family member — it could be inaccurate or feel [stigmatizing],” she says.
(AP Photo/Melissa d’Arabian)
AP Photo/Melissa d’Arabian
3. A massage
If your goal is to help a loved one feel better, listen to what’s making them feel crappy. “When people are feeling badly, they’ll tell you they’re feeling badly,” Hershenberg says. If it’s an inability to sleep, consider a gift certificate for books to keep them company; if they’re feeling overworked and stressed, consider a massage or another gift that promotes self-care. If you don’t know what’s bugging them, ask; simply imagining you’re in their shoes often doesn’t help and can even hurt if you make the wrong assumption, says Mary Steffel, an assistant professor of marketing at Northeastern University’s D’Amore-McKim School of Business. “We encourage perspective-getting, which is: Just ask.”
(Getty Images)
Getty Images
4. A meal delivery service — with a note
Similarly, if a loved one complains about his fast-food habit or not having enough time to grocery shopand cook, a meal delivery service subscription could be an appreciated option. Again, how the present is delivered makes all the difference. Hershenberg recommends including a card saying something like: “‘Because who has time to cook?’ Normalize that they’re busy,” she says. And don’t worry if you’ve already bought the same gift for someone else: While shoppers prefer buying different gifts for different people, they often do so at the expense of recipients’ enjoyment, says Steffel, whose research found just that.
(AP Photo/Matthew Mead)
AP Photo/Matthew Mead
5. Tickets to a park, zoo or botanical garden
Sure, a set of dumbbells promotes physical activity, but so too do presents that don’t scream it. “Things like a membership to the zoo or venues that would facilitate family activities or walking around … are less likely to be offensive, and they’re probably healthy,” Markey says. Indeed, the healthiest type of exercise is the type you enjoy and will pursue consistently, experts say. As a bonus, research not only suggests that experiential gifts are better-liked than material gifts, but they also seem to improve relationships since they rouse more emotions and, as a result, tend to make the recipient feel more connected to the giver.
(WTOP/Dennis Foley)
WTOP/Dennis Foley
6. A cookbook that just happens to be healthy
A cookbook boasting about “low-fat recipes to help you lose weight fast” probably doesn’t belong under the Christmas tree. But a cookbook for people who, say, love throwing parties or traveling, might. “Healthy gifts that also signal something positive and identity-relevant might make them less likely to offend,” Steffel says. Keep in mind, though, that people’s current behaviors and interests aren’t necessarily their desired behaviors and interests, she says. Instead of assuming a loved one wants yet another vegetarian cookbook, ask, “What are some of your goals and aspirations this holiday or New Year, and what can I get that can help?” Steffel recommends.
(AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)
AP Photo/Keith Srakocic
7. Two passes to an exercise class
Here’s a selfish-sounding idea: Give a gift in which you get a reward, too. That could mean buying both you and your pal matching yoga mats, matching T-shirts for weekly walks or two passes to an exercise class you’ve both been eyeing. “It sends the signal that the giver wants to spend time together, not that the recipient needs to change,” Steffel says. It’s a research-backed strategy, too: A study out this year found that gift recipients were happier with presents when the giver bought the same present for him or herself. As a bonus, they felt closer to the giver, too.
(AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)
