Every December, people wonder how to navigate office holiday gift-giving customs. Do you have to give a gift to your boss? How do you deal with that co-worker pressuring you to give more than you can afford to a holiday gift collection? What gifts are appropriate for colleagues in the first place?
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Here are the five most important rules you need to know in order to navigate office gift-giving this month.
Gifts should flow downward, not upward.
Long-established rules of etiquette say that gifts in a workplace should flow downward, not upward — meaning that your boss can give you a gift but you and your co-workers shouldn’t give presents to your managers. This rule exists because of the power dynamics and pay discrepancies in the boss/employee relationship. The idea is otherwise an employee might feel pressured to purchase gifts for a manager, and it’s unseemly for managers to benefit from power dynamics that way.
There are certainly offices that ignore this rule, and where gifts to the boss are common. But at a minimum, you should feel free to opt out from any pressure to chip in for a gift to your boss, and you might even raise this point to your colleagues and ask if people want to reconsider this year. You’re likely to find at least some of your co-workers will be relieved to have one fewer spending obligation this month.
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Workplaces shouldn’t pressure people to contribute to gifts or gift exchanges.
Group gift exchanges like Secret Santa or Yankee Swap can be a good way to ease the pressure people might otherwise feel to buy their co-workers individual gifts. However, offices should let people opt in or opt out without pressure, since gift exchanges can strain people’s budgets at an already expensive time of year, and others may not want to participate for religious reasons. A low-key, opt-in approach is the way to go.
The same is true if your office is taking up a collection for a group gift to a colleague. If you’re being pressured to chip in for a gift when you’d rather not, it’s okay to say, “I need to pass” or “my budget won’t allow it this year.”
Don’t give overly personal gifts to colleagues.
As a general rule, gifts that are intended to be put on the recipient’s body — like perfume, lotion, clothes or jewelry — are too personal to give to colleagues. Gag gifts can be hit-or-miss; if you know the recipient well enough to be sure they’d appreciate a joke gift, go for it, but otherwise it’s a risky move.
Food items like candy or baked goods can be a smart choice, especially if you remember to take allergies into consideration. Wine and liquor are often appreciated — and have the benefit of being easily re-gifted if they’re not to someone’s taste — but be careful about not giving alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, a Muslim or someone else who is known not to drink.
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Respect price limits on gift exchanges.
If you’re participating in a gift exchange that includes a price limit (for example, “gifts must be less than $20”), don’t exceed it. If you show up with an e-reader or a cashmere blanket while everyone else is exchanging socks and funny mugs, you’re likely to make other people feel uncomfortable. The reverse is true too: If everyone else is exchanging gifts they genuinely hope people will enjoy, you’re violating the spirit of the exchange if you show up with a gag gift and may cause someone to go home feeling slighted.
Company gifts to employees shouldn’t leave people out.
For companies that give employees gifts at the holidays, giving every employee the same gift can be a tricky proposition and feel impersonal. Giving turkeys to everyone can make the vegetarians on your staff feel unappreciated, giving coffee neglects those who don’t drink coffee and so forth. A better option, if your company is open to it, is to let people choose from a few options — or even better, to give bonuses or an extra day off.
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The Office Gift Rules You Need to Know This Holiday Season originally appeared on usnews.com
