WASHINGTON – In 1999, the Wachowskis created a masterpiece in “The Matrix,” revolutionizing bullet-time action and crafting a story with enough Plato existentialism to fill a philosophy textbook.
Today, the siblings return to the sci-fi/action genre for their latest effort: “Jupiter Ascending.”
The title refers to main character Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), whose unique birth brings her to live a lowly existence as a caretaker cleaning toilets. Soon, she realizes that Earth is being harvested, “Soylent Green”-style, by the ruthless alien Balem Abrasax (Eddie Redmayne), brother of Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) on a faraway planet in need of a new heir. Jupiter seems to be mankind’s last best hope, teaming with genetically engineered warrior Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) to thwart Balem’s intergalactic tyranny.
It’s no surprise that Tatum and Kunis have risen to big-budget blockbuster paychecks. Both stars have proven themselves in both comedy and drama: Tatum in “Foxcatcher” and “21 Jump Street,” Kunis in “Black Swan” and “Ted.” This time, Tatum sports pointy ears in a warped case of cauliflower, perhaps caught from Bennett Miller’s wrestling mat, not to mention a pair of scars on his back where wings used to be, perhaps stolen by Darren Aronofsky for Kunis and Natalie Portman.
Unfortunately, “Jupiter Ascending” is no “Foxcatcher” or “Black Swan,” due to forced romantic dialogue that does Tatum and Kunis a huge disservice. Rather than a gradual romantic build, the flirtatious lines come out of nowhere as random connecting tissue between effects-heavy action:
“Your majesty, I have more in common with dogs than I have with you,” Tatum says.
“I love dogs. I’ve always loved dogs,” Kunis replies.
At best, such lines will cause audiences to snicker. At worst, they’ll cause audiences to groan, much like the muted response from the crowd at Sundance, where the film screened last month.
Since then, the cast and crew have been managing expectations.
“If it fails, it doesn’t matter. I did it because I wanted to work with the Wachowskis,” Kunis tells the Associated Press. ” If it doesn’t do well, at the end of the day, I still got to work with great people.”
Andy Wachowski added, “I’ve gotten a thicker skin when it comes to Internet searches on our art.”
The term “art” is admittedly subjective, but it’s a stretch for “Jupiter Ascending.” At times, the film harkens back to the best of science fiction. The urban grids recall “Blade Runner” (1982). Tatum’s hovering shoes recall “Back to the Future 2” (1989). Terry Gilliam’s cameo conjures “Brazil” (1985). The sonic shotguns echo “Minority Report” (2002). The soaring lovers’ embrace recreates “Superman” (1978). And the film’s villains employ memory erasers, just like in “Men in Black” (1997).
But even with such visual splendor, the action sequences mean nothing without a coherent storyline. While Redmayne may win the Oscar as Stephen Hawking in “The Theory of Everything” (2014), the Wachowskis suffer from their own Theory of Everything, cramming in too many heady concepts.
They attempt to explain these concepts with obvious exposition: Kunis repeatedly asks, “Who are you?” “Where am I?” “Why is this happening?” But despite such hand-holding, the big-picture questions remain wildly confusing, such that we don’t understand the characters’ motivations.
“I don’t think that most people would want to know the truth,” actor Sean Bean tells Kunis, to which Kunis replies, “I do.”
So do we.
The direction of the story derails most during a subplot involving Redmayne’s on-screen brother. The film goes down this rabbit hole for a good 30 minutes — time that Redmayne is not on screen — only to pull the plug with a warp-speed exit to Kunis’ command: “Get me out of here.” You could remove the Titus subplot without affecting the main arc. Large chunks of story shouldn’t be so expendable.
One bright spot is a humorous montage railing against government bureaucracy, showing that even red tape is timeless. But when you consider why Kunis is enduring this bureaucracy — to claim a “chain of title” for her lineage — it feels like a lame solution to a conflict with such high stakes.
“I’ll never complain about the DMV again,” she says.
Neither will we, because even the DMV is better than sitting through “Jupiter Ascending.”
Time and again, Kunis’ dialogue unintentionally articulates what we viewers are thinking.
During the first action sequence, she turns to Tatum and says, “This is ridiculous.”
Agreed.
Later she asks, “Could this get any weirder?”
Nope.
It’s frustrating to think the bloated $176 million budget could have funded 58 indie flicks by hungry young filmmakers getting more mileage out of $3 million apiece. Even if the Wachowskis took a third of that budget, they may have been forced to get more creative with their talents. Let’s not forget they made “The Matrix” for $63 million. Note to Warner Bros: Modesty is more productive.
It’s almost depressing to watch The Wachowskis’ continued descent following their “Matrix” masterpiece. We began suspecting their decline with two lackluster sequels — “The Matrix Reloaded” (2003) and “The Matrix Revolutions” (2003) — but we chalked it up to sequel fatigue, especially when they rebounded gloriously by writing the script for “V for Vendetta” (2005).
Unfortunately, it’s been a disappointing past decade for the directing duo. “Speed Racer” (2008) was savaged by the critics (39% on Rotten Tomatoes) and ignored by the public (grossing just $44 million domestically despite a $120 million budget). When “Cloud Atlas” (2012) earned just a 66% on Rotten Tomatoes and grossed just $27 million domestically, our suspicions resurfaced.
Now, our worst fears have been realized with “Jupiter Ascending.”
The Wachowskis are visionaries who need to be reined in.
Sitting in the theater, your cinema conscience will flash back to Neo’s pill-popping choice:
“You take the blue pill, the story ends,” Morpheus says. “You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland.”
This time, you’ll want the blue pill.
★
The above rating is based on a 4-star scale. See where this film ranks in Jason’s Fraley Film Guide. Follow WTOP Film Critic Jason Fraley on Twitter.
