WASHINGTON — Thanksgiving is a time for turkey, pies and football. It’s also a time when many families spend a lot of time together, which can cause some friction.
Anticipating your interactions with difficult family members can help diffuse the tension during the holidays, says Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist and a relationship contributor for Investigation Discovery Network’s “Scorned.”
“You have to know you’re going into a situation that isn’t perfect,” Ludwig said on WTOP Tuesday. “Think about, in advance, the people you may have trouble with and try to prepare in your mind how you’re best going to deal with them.”
Remaining in control of your emotions and not being reacting rashly to family members’ comments can prevent any outbursts, Ludwig says.
“Even if you’re right under those circumstances, you’re still wrong. So really try to go in there with a commitment to yourself and a way of seeing yourself that helps you rise to your best self.”
Dealing with family during the holidays can be even pricklier when factoring in the vitriol of 2016 presidential campaigns and political squabbles.
Politics can be dangerous territory because “you’re never going to convince somebody who has an opposite perspective,” Ludwig says.
In a region where political banter is second nature, Ludwig says it is important to know with whom you’re talking politics and don’t let it drift into personal attacks.
“If you can talk about politics and disagree without going to that personal attacking level, fine, have an intellectually stimulating discussion,” she says. “But many people can’t go there, so I think proceed with caution.”
Ludwig offered some tips to remember to make holidays peaceful with thorny family members:
- Create boundaries and space from the troublesome family member
- Only invite family members you enjoy being around
- Write down how you want to behave
- Don’t get sucked into family arguments that don’t end well
“Understand messy relationships is [sic] just part of being human,” Ludwig says. “What you really need to do is set your intentions.”
