Killing of mother, toddler spotlights domestic violence

WASHINGTON — The killing of a Prince George’s County teacher and her daughter over child support is a chilling reminder about the possible consequences of domestic violence.

Experts say many victims do not immediately realize they are even in an abusive relationship.

“People doubt their own experience and their own truth,” said Eileen Dombo, associate dean of the National Catholic School of Social Service at The Catholic University of America. “They explain away somebody’s behavior or they say that’s not really happening, or they blame themselves: ‘I did this; that’s why they are acting this way.'”

The biggest recommendation is to get a second opinion about how things are going.

“Talk to somebody outside of the relationship and say, ‘This is what’s going on. Am I misreading this or am I overreacting?’ just to get a temperature check on what’s actually happening, because when you are in it, it can be really disorienting,” Dombo said.

There are many signs that you could be in an abusive relationship. Sometimes, it could be displayed as physical violence. Other times, the signs are more subtle.

“Any time anybody makes you feel like you are unworthy of your own opinion or you are unworthy of being treated with respect,” Dombo told WTOP, “those are two really important signs that somebody isn’t showing the love and respect that you deserve.”

Domestic violence incidents often involve children, which can make getting out of an abusive relationship even more difficult, much like what was seen in the Fort Washington double homicide, which came after a dispute over child support.

“I think having a third party intervene, whether it’s a lawyer or a mediator or somebody to be there with you when you have to negotiate around child support payments or shared child arrangements,” said Dombo, “ can be very helpful to de-escalate any violence.”

The D.C. region has many resources to help people to escape abusive relationships and find a safe haven.

“My Sister’s Place and House of Ruth are two great organizations as well as the Women’s Center,” Dombo said. “The Women’s Center of D.C. and Virginia have great resources for women and men who are experiencing violence in abusive relationships.”