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Emotions are running high as Election Day approaches, but remember that your youngest children are paying attention to your words and actions. They also might need help managing their own feelings about the presidential election.
“We should talk to our kids about what’s happening in the world, particularly if we feel like this upcoming election is very important to us personally,” said Dr. Matt Edelstein, a clinical psychologist at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. “It’s perfectly OK to share your values with your kids, but we want to make sure that we’re sharing it at a level that they can understand.”
Your children observe and absorb your reactions and feelings. Edelstein said parents should make sure they model emotional regulation by staying calm and rational. Consider who’s around when you’re talking about politics, and make sure it’s a family-friendly discussion.
“What we don’t want to do is paint a dystopian picture for our kids, regardless of the age, because that might make them feel helpless,” he said. “They’re sponges for what we’re saying [and] also how we’re working through big feelings and big emotions.”
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Election news coverage can be overwhelming. So limit your child’s exposure to media by reducing screen time. Also, be thoughtful about how often you discuss politics in front of them. They’ll need help understanding the results of the presidential election once a winner is declared.
“A loss might feel devastating to a child, not because they understand the platform from that candidate, but because their candidate didn’t win,” Edelstein said. “Talk about how … we advocate for ourselves when something doesn’t go our way because that’s life. We want to teach our kids that they can be disappointed and still be advocates for the things that they care about.”
You can teach little ones how to have healthy conversations and respectful disagreements through role-playing. Practice will help them learn new communication skills.
“[If] they nail it, then that’s a great opportunity to praise them and say, ‘Gosh, you’re really handling this so well. I’m so proud of you,'” Edelstein said. “And if they’re having trouble finding the words to be respectful, then that’s a great opportunity to jump in and say, ‘Here’s how you could do this a little bit differently.'”
Most importantly, practice kindness.
“No matter who people vote for, after election day they turn back into our neighbors, into our family members, into our teachers and our friends. And if we are painting others who don’t vote our way as being the out group, then we’re teaching our kids to potentially be bullies,” Edelstein said. “People are more than their vote, and so we want to we want to win respectfully, and we want to lose respectfully.”
He encourages parents to take care of their own mental health by taking the space and time they need when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
“Parents should be kind to themselves because this is a very emotional time. It’s a very stressful time. And we shouldn’t expect [to] be superhuman in front of our kids,” Edelstein said. “We’re allowed to be human and parents at the same time.”
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