Did you receive a present that you want to pass on to someone else? You’re not alone, especially during high-volume gifting occasions.
A 2023 Magestore survey found that 56.6% of Americans planned on regifting or donating unwanted winter holiday presents. Giving and receiving is a year-round event, however, which means you may face the polite regifting dilemma at any time. When not done right, the process can feel awkward or even come off as downright rude.
To maintain a positive relationship with the person who gave you the item, know when and how to give it away so all parties are satisfied and feel valued. Here’s how.
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When Regifting Is Right
Regifting has multiple benefits, such as saving you money and being able to give a gift that exceeds your own budget.
“It’s a smart thing to consider but there are some guidelines to follow,” says Thomas P. Farley, aka Mister Manners, a New York City-based etiquette expert. “There’s a wide variety of circumstances when giving a gift you received to another person is socially appropriate.”
Here are few reasons to consider regifting:
— You don’t like it. There’s no reason to keep something you don’t appreciate. Some items are perfect for passing on.
— You already have the item. The person who gave you that blender bought it because they knew that you love smoothies. They just weren’t aware that you already had one.
— You don’t need it. There are all kinds of things you may think are wonderful but can’t incorporate into your life. For example, delicate leather gloves can be lovely, but may not fit your rugged lifestyle.
— You know somebody else will appreciate it much more. You might like the item but know a person who needs it more than you. Regifting can be an act of generosity.
— You broke up with the person who gave it to you. There may be gifts you received from a significant other but now that you’re not together you want to purge, especially when the items evoke bad memories. You are under no obligation to keep them, Farley says.
Know When to Regift or Exchange
From the sweater that doesn’t fit to the book you’ve already read, there are plenty of circumstances when you may want to rethink regifting. According to Farley, the amount of money and time the person spent choosing the item just for you are crucial factors.
If the gift is not to your taste, such as a pricey piece of jewelry in yellow gold when you wear only white gold or silver, giving it away would be hurtful. But the person who gave it to you probably doesn’t want the piece to just sit in a drawer, either.
“Say, ‘I love this, you are so wonderful and thoughtful, and I’m sorry I never told you I have always had more of an affinity for white gold,'” Farley says. Then you can ask to exchange it for a similar item you will regularly wear.
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When You Should Inform the Giver
In general, regifting is between you and the new recipient. However, there can be some situations in which you’ll want to let the original gift giver know you regifted.
For example, if you know the person well and they will be asking you about the item, you may want to preempt the conversation with an explanation. This will be especially important if the person will be coming to your home, expecting to see the vase they purchased for you on your fireplace mantle.
If you gave it to your niece because you knew she would adore it, explain why, and that when you visit her you bring the perfect flowers for the vase and are now sharing in its beauty.
Most important, be honest if the person does inquire about the gift. “Don’t make up a story,” Farley says. “You’ll dig yourself into a hole.”
How Not to Regift
“Almost everyone has recycled a gift or two,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts, an etiquette expert known as the Golden Rules Gal based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
However, there are a few regifting no-nos:
— Regifting to the original giver. Imagine giving a present to someone who gave the item to you. “That’s a terrible faux pas,” Grotts says. Unless you keep very good records, avoid regifting within a specific social circle.
— Regifting in the original wrapping. You may have an idea about what is inside the wrapping paper, but don’t be so sure. Take the item out first. “There could be a card inside addressed to you that you didn’t see.” Rewrap, then regift.
— Putting an item inthe wrong box. Although it can be tempting to place an item in a luxury retailer’s packaging, you’re setting the recipient up for embarrassment if they try to return the gift at that store.
— Regifting used items. If the item shows any signs of wear and tear, is dirty or has parts missing, do not regift it.
When there is even a remote potential for making a humiliating mistake, don’t take the risk, says Lee Cordon, the Dallas-based founder of DoSayGive, a company dedicated to gracious gifting.
“I received an inspirational daily devotional book for Christmas one year. I opened it up and started reading the inscription on the front cover, and quickly realized it was not addressed to me but to somebody else. The person who gave it to me was there and I quickly closed it. It was an awkward situation,” Cordon says.
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Let Go When You Give
Feeling guilty about regifting? Don’t, Cordon says.
“It is absolutely acceptable to regift, especially if it is something that the new recipient will enjoy or appreciate,” she says.
“If you have a fabulous gift that you know your sister or best friend would love and that you don’t need, why be wasteful? Go ahead and give it,” she adds.
And remember, after you give something, what the recipient does with it is out of your control.
“Gifts should never come with strings attached,” Farley says. Dictating its final destination is bad manners, so let it go. If the bottle of cognac you gave to your coworker was enjoyed by their cousin who savored every sip, your gift was a success.
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An Etiquette Guide to Regifting originally appeared on usnews.com
