Nearly one-third of kids suffer from an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, according to the latest data. This is problematic for multiple reasons.
First, there’s the functional impairment that goes along with having an anxiety disorder. Anxiety interferes with kids being able to go to school, do the best they can while there to learn, make and keep friends, love their families and engage in activities they enjoy. When kids suffer from an anxiety disorder, they might be too scared to raise their hand in class, and some will refuse to go to school altogether. Others will have an extreme fear of play dates and friendships will suffer, while some will be too embarrassed to try playing a sport or engage in the arts out of fear that they’ll be terrible at it.
As if this isn’t bad enough, we know from research conducted by the Child Mind Institute that parents wait on average two years after the onset of a child’s symptoms to reach out for mental health treatment.
[Read: Sneaky Signs of Childhood Anxiety.]
In the meantime, untreated anxiety can lead to other problems for kids, and this is the second problem with anxiety: It can function as a gateway to other mental health issues. This is because fear makes kids avoid, and avoidance can lead to all sorts of problems, including isolation and depression, alcohol and drug use to avoid the experience of fear, and oppositional behavior because kids learn that it’s an effective way to get adults to back off from insisting they do scary things.
Here are some tips to help a child struggling with anxiety, so you can prevent the gateway phenomenon:
1. Encourage your child to get outside of a comfort zone. It’s important to encourage your child to do things that scare her, even if your urge is to protect her from feeling any anxiety. For example, if your child is afraid of going to a new friend’s home for a play date — presuming she likes this friend and that you’re comfortable with the family and home — encourage her to go and give it a try. Maybe you’d stay for a little while and she’d start out being without you for only a short time. But it’s important to encourage kids to do things that are safe but scary to them. Avoidance maintains anxiety, and worse, if we avoid fun activities with friends, then we can start to become sad and depressed.
[Read: How to Help Your Anxious Child Thrive During the Holidays.]
2. Don’t shrug off your child’s anxiety. Anxiety is often irrational when a child has an anxiety disorder, but still it’s important that you take it seriously. Instead of encouraging your teen to “brush it off” or “don’t worry about it,” talk with him about what he’s worried about and why. For example, if your son is distraught about a bad grade on one test because he thinks now he won’t get into a good college, talk him through this problem and help him to see the situation more realistically. The problem with making light of it is that it deprives him of the opportunity to learn skills to manage and reduce his anxiety, and he’s more likely to turn to substances to find relief.
3. Teach your child how to cope. In addition to modeling how to think through problems with your children, you may need to teach them some coping skills and coach them to use these skills in the moment. This can include slow, paced breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery. If your child is panicking, you can coach her to slow her breathing and steadily breathe along with the child until she’s feeling more calm. It’s very hard to problem-solve when we’re distressed, so this is often an important first step.
[Read: Could Your Child Have Seasonal Affective Disorder?]
4. Don’t give in to temper tantrums. Don’t get angry about them either — or at least don’t express your anger to your child. Instead, remember that tantrums are a sign of overwhelming distress in anxious kids, and they can also be a strategy to avoid something that really scares them. You don’t want to give in to the tantrum and make it an effective way for kids to avoid things. That said, when kids are genuinely anxious, adding an angry parent into the mix will make things worse. Instead, provide comfort and calm instruction.
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Can Untreated Anxiety Lead to Other Mental Health Problems? originally appeared on usnews.com
