One of the best ways to learn how to get where you want to go in your career is to listen to those who are already there. No matter your current professional level, executives in the C-suite have a unique perspective to share about what it takes to advance and reach your career goals.
This is particularly true for women, who face some unique challenges when it comes to getting ahead. New research by VitalSmarts, a leadership training and consulting company, shows that women face emotional inequality at work — their perceived competency decreases 35 percent when they’re as assertive or forceful as their male colleagues, attributes that are critical to succeed in leadership and management positions. Their perceived worth in the marketplace drops, accordingly, by more than $15,000.
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And this isn’t the first study to determine that certain traits are correlated more negatively with women than they are with men. Data show that the more successful a woman is perceived to be, the less she will be liked.
Rather than fret these current realities, it’s important for women to find ways to circumvent them. Two C-level tech executives spoke with U.S. News and shared their observations about how women may be inadvertently holding themselves back at work by caveating their statements too much — for example, adding qualifiers, disclaimers, justifications, apologies or polite interruptions. One example of this might be saying sorry for things that don’t warrant an apology, like sending a follow-up email when you’re simply trying to get your job done.
Noticing her own tendency to adopt conversational safety blankets earlier in her career, Krista Anderson-Copperman, chief customer officer at identity management company Okta, developed a strategy toward communicating at work that she calls “no asterisks.” Anderson-Copperman explains that no asterisks is about having confidence and not apologizing for yourself, which is vital at any stage of your career.
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“An ‘asterisk’ is that justification we, particularly as women, use to qualify our position or justify our point of view and is often perceived as a lack of confidence,” says Anderson-Copperman. “When I started paying attention to and eliminating them from my speech — or scolding myself when I forgot — I began to notice that when I spoke, the room got quiet, people stopped, they listened and responded in a way that was different from before.”
Intel chief information officer Paula Tolliver notes that she, too, initially had to work on gaining confidence to speak up in intimidating settings by caveating her ideas. “I’d say things like, ‘I know I’m the new person,’ or ‘I may not be the expert here,’ before sharing. This helped me speak up, but I didn’t realize it was also discrediting me at the same time until a male mentor told me.”
Here are some tips from Anderson-Copperman and Tolliver about what women can do to step into their power with confidence:
— Remove qualifiers from your speech. Anderson-Copperman emphasizes that subtleties about your speech and body language have a significant impact on how others perceive you. “How you sit, stand — these positions convey and inspire confidence versus uncertainty,” Anderson-Copperman says. “I realized how small changes — such as adjusting how I physically stood in a room, or even removing qualifying words like ‘just’ and ‘I was hoping/wondering’ from my vocabulary — could make a significant impact on my confidence and how I was perceived.”
— Own and defend your point of view. Tolliver explains that on her road to the C-suite, she worked on owning her point of view and speaking with confidence. “It wasn’t easy in the beginning and it’s something you have to constantly work on, but it’s so important, especially if you’re ‘different,'” Tolliver says. “I was ‘different’ than most others sitting around the table because of my gender, and it gave me a unique perspective.” She adds that you also have to be prepared to defend your point of view. “Anticipating challengers and preparing your response to challenges is key to success,” says Tolliver. “If you back down immediately when challenged, it can be perceived as weakness or not having confidence in your idea or position.”
— Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Do you have a tendency to hold off on expressing your thoughts in a meeting until you find the perfect entry point? Anderson-Copperman notes that delaying your input like this might cause you to miss out. “Stop waiting to share your opinions. Speak up!” she says. “Talk louder and interrupt if you have to, and don’t wait until there is a perfect pause or time to say what you want; it rarely happens. By the time that pause presents itself, your moment has almost always passed.” She adds that robust dialogue and debate are tenets of healthy and productive organizations, and every good leader respects those qualities in an individual. “Do not let fear of being liked or perceived as rude stop you.”
— Articulate your key differentiators. Being able to effectively self-promote your talents is important in any kind of business, yet it can be particularly difficult for women, many of whom have been raised to believe that it’s bragging. “I’ve noticed that women often have a hard time selling themselves,” says Tolliver. “I have many women approach me for coaching, potential career opportunities or just for advice. One of the things I always say is that you must be able to articulate your key differentiators. What skills or unique abilities do you have that are different than most other people sitting around the table?” Tolliver explains that knowing what makes you stand out can be hard to identify early in your career, so a mentor can help. “In fact, a former mentor of mine helped me identify my key differentiator years ago,” she says. “But understanding yourself, your talents and being able to clearly articulate this could make or break you getting that next job or that next project that could accelerate your career.”
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Much of this advice points back to not hedging your message and instead speaking with confidence and clarity. “Be clear about your goals, and don’t be shy about sharing them,” says Anderson-Copperman. “It’s OK to seek professional power and to make those intentions clear by stating your goals out loud to mentors and supervisors. They can’t help you get somewhere if you don’t know where you want to go.”
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C-Suite Advice to Women in the Workplace: Don’t Hedge Your Message originally appeared on usnews.com
