The debate over whether parents should spank their children has continued for decades despite what science says about its harmful effects on kids. Many adults who were spanked as a children still consider it OK to do so. However, many of us also disagree with spanking and prefer other methods of discipline.
A recent study published in the Journal of Pediatrics reported that “the use of corporal punishment during childhood is associated with physical dating violence among young adults.” Although the research has some limitations that should caution our interpretation of the findings, the study adds to the substantial amount of research on the problems associated with using spanking as a discipline strategy.
According to the American Psychological Association, spanking and other forms of physical punishment can lead to increased behavior problems, aggression, physical injury and mental health issues. Despite the decades of science on spanking, many parents still support using it as a discipline strategy. In a report published by Child Trends, a nonprofit organization that aims to improve the lives of children, between 1986 and 2014, the percentage of adults who believe “spanking is sometimes necessary” declined but remain fairly high. More than 65 percent of parents support spanking. Differences in opinions on spanking also differ across ethnic groups and educational backgrounds.
[Read: Why You Shouldn’t Spank Your Child — and What to Do Instead.]
As a psychologist, I find this to be a frequent topic of conversation and debate with parents. My preference is to encourage positive behavioral management and decrease the use of punishment. Punishment like spanking doesn’t improve a child’s behavior over the long-term. Furthermore, spanking models aggressive behaviors, such as hitting or yelling, which we aim to decrease in children.
Effective Parenting Alternatives to Focusing on Punishment
Below are some suggestions to modify inappropriate behavior in children. Keep in mind that these strategies are useful for some children. If you have lingering questions or concerns about persistent behavior problems a child is having, and how to address them, it’s important to speak with a professional, such as a counselor or psychologist.
[Read: Is Mom and Dad’s Depression Making the Kids Go Wild?]
Stay consistent. Children like to test boundaries. It is important to have a plan for dealing with your child when they break your rules or misbehave. Whatever consequence you identify must be enforced every time. When you’re not consistent with your consequences, it makes it less likely that the child will change his or her behavior.
Reward your child with attention. Most children desire attention from their parents. Think of your own behavior at work. If your boss doesn’t provide positive attention or acknowledgment when you do a good job, then you may be less motivated. For children, the same thing applies. What often happens, especially for young children, is they only receive attention when they break rules or get in trouble. By giving children positive attention when they behave appropriately, you teach them your expectations and you decrease the likelihood that you will have to use punishment.
Effectively use time-out. Time-out can be effective for younger children. The most important key to implementing this strategy is to plan ahead. You will need to identify what behaviors result in time-out and how long the child will be required to stay in time-out before returning to activities. When using time-out, don’t enforce it for all misbehavior. One of the pit-falls of using time-out is that parents use it for too many behaviors and it becomes less effective. To be effective, time-out must be used every time the child doesn’t comply with the identified rule. This means that you will have to apply time-out when the child is home and in other settings (such as at a friend or relative’s homes).
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
Reinforce “positive opposites.” Often when children don’t listen or engage in aggression, parents either yell “stop” or use punishment, like spanking. This may stop the behavior in the short term, but it doesn’t teach the child the desired behavior you want. By using positive opposites, you reinforce and teach your child the behaviors you want to see. For example, if your child is often hitting their sibling, you can reinforce “keeping their hands to themselves.” This not only teaches them to “stop hitting,” but it prevents you from modeling aggression through spanking.
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Many Parents Still Spank — But the Science Doesn’t Support It originally appeared on usnews.com
