Part of every professional’s career success, regardless of the position or industry you are in, depends on not just your ability to perform your own work, but also how you work with others and how others on your team perform. Even self-employed professionals and remote workers have to deal with others on a regular basis. How others behave impacts several areas of your career success — your ability to focus in meetings, your ability to remain motivated at work in general and the culture of the organization. So it’s a critical piece to not just your success but everyone else’s as well.
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Given that fact, what can you do when your co-worker drives you crazy, whether it’s complaining, whining or simply having a negative attitude? There could be many factors that contribute to their issues, and to difficulty getting along with others. Identifying what the issues are is a critical first step to managing the problem. You can’t do anything about it if you don’t know what you’re dealing with. They could be things like:
— Different personalities
— Different places in life
— Different backgrounds
— An age gap
— Opposing values or beliefs
Of course, as professionals we need to do our best to overcome these types of obstacles to cultivate positive relationships with all of our employees and co-workers. Identifying what may be going on with them is one step toward a resolution. However, some situations are just bad behavior which causes undue stress and problems in the workplace.
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Let’s talk about one type of employee’s bad behavior: the whiner. Reports show that three in five workers (61 percent) say they are burned out in their current job, so you will inevitably run into a whiner at some point in your career.
While the statistics may help us feel a little more empathetic, unfortunately whiners do bring down the atmosphere and morale of a team or an entire department. And whiners sometimes don’t even realize they are complaining.
So how do you deal with a whiner? Here are a few practical things you can do.
Don’t get drawn in. For example, the whiner may say something to you from their cubicle like, “Another impossible deadline. They think we don’t have anything else to do other than work.”
You could:
— Nod your head and say nothing.
— Agree and continue the gripe session.
— Try to defend your boss.
— Encourage them to schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss their work situation.
The last option is the best. Most likely there is an underlying issue causing the complaint. But instead of trying to take on their issue yourself, encourage them to talk to the person who could provide a solution, whether it’s your boss, human resources or another co-worker.
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If they are a chronic whiner (different from someone who is facing a temporarily difficult situation in life), don’t feel the need to find solutions to their issues. This merely gives them a platform and they will most likely return to you for further complaining. This will start the beginning of an unhealthy relationship. (And you may end up being a whiner as well, miserable in your job!)
Change the subject. For example, while on break the whiner may start to complain about a task or client. This is the third time today you have heard them complain about the same issue. You can:
— Commiserate with them. You feel the same way.
— Tell them if they hate their job so much they should quit.
— Say that you are sorry they are having a hard time with the task and ask them if they need help finding a solution, or ask what is going well for them this week to turn them toward something positive if possible.
Again, the last option is the best. Joining in on a complaint will provide a platform for the whiner and make it worse. And while you may feel tempted to tell them to quit their job, that wouldn’t have the best effect in the break room. It would most likely backfire and have more negative repercussions than the whining.
Encouraging the whiner to talk about something they are enjoying is a great way to subtly stimulate positive thinking. And if they can’t think of anything, try saying something like, “Well, think about it. Let me know on our next break.”
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What to Do if Your Co-Worker Is a Whiner originally appeared on usnews.com
