Has your husband ever asked you to go shopping … alone? Maybe he has foolishly asked: “Would you like some cheese with that whine?” Or how about, “Why are you so snappy today?”
I admit that I’ve said all these things.
I am married to Amy Medling, founder of PCOS Diva. Amy is a woman who is thriving with PCOS and helping others do the same. That said, her journey has been a long one, and moodiness has been a challenge for us, but one we have overcome (on most days).
Like most young men, I struggled to understand girls — and later women. They seemed to operate by different social and emotional rules entirely. Females, I found, have different ways of looking at relationships and situations than the average male.
Even understanding that, I was often baffled by Amy’s moods when I met and fell in love with her. She could go from happy and laughing to grouchy or tearful in a moment. I wrote it off to being a woman. Now I know better: It was PCOS.
[See: 8 Things You Didn’t Know About PCOS.]
Moodiness and PCOS
At its heart, PCOS is an endocrine disorder. That means all the hormones in the body are affected. This is not only the central cause of many PCOS symptoms, such as infertility and acne, but also mood issues. Many women with PCOS struggle with mood disorders including depression. Others have lower level mood issues that manifest as irritability, lethargy and a short temper. The fact that PCOS can make a woman feel physically uncomfortable, emotionally insecure or unfeminine compounds the situation.
Before and After
The good news is that once a woman with PCOS learns to manage her symptoms, things improve. I promise. The quality of life for everyone in our home improved when Amy upgraded her diet, changed her movement habits and began taking care of herself with supplements and self-care.
I have to give Amy credit: She keeps her cool when things get stressful, and they do get stressful when you try to run a business, have three children, cook healthy meals for an always hungry family, exercise daily, do charity work, volunteering, etc. Life can seem like a haze sometimes, and Amy is the lighthouse that keeps us all oriented. But sometimes, she can still get a bit … snippy.
Many years ago, before we understood PCOS and how it affects her moods, I was frustrated when her moods would turn ugly and she would get very quiet or start an argument. I would try to help. I’d ask her what’s wrong, if I could help or my favorite remedy, “Do you need a glass of wine?” But the results here were unpredictable. She might snap out of it, or she might snap at me, or she could (worst-case scenario) burst into tears. I was genuinely trying to help, but I managed to make things worse. She was already feeling out of control; my well-meaning questioning didn’t really get to the root-cause.
Now, when we notice moodiness creeping in, we work to balance the hormones causing the trouble. For Amy, it usually comes down to one of three things:
1. Lack of self-care or time to relax.
2. Eating the wrong/inflammatory foods (gluten, dairy and sugar are common triggers).
3. Lack of exercise.
[See: Diet and Lifestyle Advice for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.]
On moody days now, we know what to do. For example:
Today Amy is snappy and short-tempered.
Before: “Why so grumpy?”
After: “Do you need to take some time for yourself? Have you been to the gym today?”
Today Amy is low-key and mopey.
Before: “Cheer up, hon. Let’s share some ice cream!”
After: “Did you eat something that didn’t agree with you today? Maybe the gluten-free bead at the restaurant wasn’t so gluten-free.”
Today Amy is impatient with the kids and me.
Before: “Having a bad day?”
After: “Would an Epsom salt bath help you relax?”
[See: 9 Ways Your Hair Reflects Your Health.]
Peace in the Realm
The best part of figuring out this mood puzzle was that it applies to the rest of the family, too. Amy isn’t the only one with moody moments in our house. Now when one of us is moody, the rest of us go into “checklist mode.” What did you eat? Do you need to exercise or get outside? Do you need a break from work/school/commitments and take a moment for yourself? It works for all of us. Well, maybe not the teenage son — that’s another (though not altogether different) can of worms.
More from U.S. News
8 Things You Didn’t Know About PCOS
Diet and Lifestyle Advice for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
9 Ways Your Hair Reflects Your Health
A Husband’s Advice on Coping With PCOS — and Moodiness originally appeared on usnews.com
