There’s nothing like being able to get away together as a family. What parent doesn’t love spending uninterrupted time with the kids, free from work or school obligations, like during winter, spring or summer break?
But if we’re being honest, family vacation often seems like a bit of an oxymoron to parents. Most moms and dads I speak to admit that going away with the kids is like a vacation for the little ones but more akin to a work trip for the parents. There’s a lot of running around, pressure to keep kids entertained and breaking up sibling squabbles. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s possible to plan a family vacation that actually feels like a vacation for all.
It’s important that everyone gets to take a break, as studies show that vacations are good for our health and well-being. They can break the stress cycle, provide time for family bonding and expose us to different cultures that broaden our horizons and capacity for understanding others. They can even help us to gain perspective on our problems, so that when we return to everyday stressors, they don’t seem as bad anymore.
My husband and I had not been away for quite a while, and between work and family, we were exhausted — like so many parents. Was it possible for us to recharge our batteries alongside our kids? As it turns out, the answer is an emphatic yes.
[See: 8 Ways to Relax — Now.]
Here are the five secrets for planning a vacation where everyone, including parents, can get some much needed R & R:
Prioritize spending time together — and having your own space. In many hot vacation spots, there are alternative places to stay that give you all the amenities you could want with more space and often a significantly lower price tag.
For example, for spring break we stayed in a condo community called Plantation Resort Residences that sat right on the same property and took advantage of the same comforts of a very posh luxury hotel chain in Dorado, Puerto Rico. Instead of being cramped in a studio hotel room or one-bedroom unit, we spent five days in a three-bedroom unit where everyone had their own space to decompress as well as a large common space to enjoy each other’s company. My friend told me she had a similar set up in an off-location hotel suite near the coveted Atlantis resort. The space gave us family time during the day and couple’s time at night.
Find out what will fill everyone’s buckets. What will help each person feel recharged? We all love to talk, read, laugh, go to the beach, pool or waterpark and, of course, spend time snuggling with one another. But what else?
My kids love nature and science, so again, we looked for a place that provided programs that could allow them to be in their happy places. The resort we went to had a guided environmental program that allowed our children to see, learn about and touch the natural aquatic and terrestrial wonders around them. It was perfect for them. And while my son went on a 3-hour archeological dig, we got to spend individual time with my daughter. When my daughter learned how to snorkel and look at coral reefs, we spent time with our son. When they both signed up to go on a flashlight hike to see, listen to and learn about the frogs, spiders and bugs in their natural nighttime environment , my husband and I went out for a bucket-filling solo dinner — sushi by the beach.
[Read: How to Stay Healthy on a Road Trip.]
Talk about your plans ahead of time. We spoke to our children before the vacation and explained that this vacation would provide time for each person to feel relaxed and get recharged. Daddy and Mommy were happy to spend time in the water with them — that was something we all wanted to do together. At the same time, as parents, we also wanted some time each day to read or nap, while the kids played with one another, made sand castles or looked for sea shells. We were all in agreement that everyone had a right to relax, so there were no surprises.
Take advantage of the kids’ club. My kids love a kids’ club where they can do crafts, play games and get out of the sun for a few hours. After spending many hours together with us in the pool or ocean on our last family vacation to Aruba, our kids asked if they could spend a little time with other kids at the kids’ club on a few of the days. This gave my husband and me a few hours to read, spend time with each other and get ready for dinner. Some kids’ clubs even provide a weekly “movie night” that allows parents to get out on their own for some adult time.
Bring extra hands. While we didn’t have someone come along with us on our vacation, I have had several friends who have brought Grandma or a nanny with them. This allowed the parents to have some time on their own, and also allowed a child to go back to the room when the others wanted to stay out at the beach or on the slopes. Who doesn’t love an extra set of helpful hands? Other friends chose to vacation with another family, which meant more adult interaction and that the kids had some playmates, so that siblings didn’t get on each other’s nerves as easily — a win for everybody.
Be reasonable and be prepared. Kids are not going to be perfectly behaved. They aren’t going to sit for hours without fidgeting in the car, at the restaurant or on the plane. To keep tantrums, tension and fighting at bay, be prepared with snacks and games and, if driving, stop to take breaks along the way.
Do your kids like workbooks like mine do? Stock up. Do your kids get cabin fever or squirmy in the car? It’s normal. Allow time to stretch legs, and be creative. When my daughter and I traveled from Boston to New Jersey last summer, we stopped in Connecticut where we visited with family, did an outdoor adventure course and fueled up with a good meal. That made a difference. And, as one of my friends says, if all else fails, sing or dance!
[See: 10 Fun Kid Activities for Adult Bodies and Minds.]
When we got home from this last vacation, my kids said it was their “best vacation ever!” While I came home with the flu (who said everything would be perfect?), I truly felt like we struck a beautiful balance between together time, one-on-one time and alone time. It really was a great vacation — for everyone.
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How to Ensure a Family Vacation Feels Like a Vacation originally appeared on usnews.com
