As a parent, you’ve watched your child grow from infancy to adolescence and now your son or daughter is entering a whole new world. While most kids will get through college just fine, others find themselves on a different, more precarious path.
According to the latest results from the National College Health Assessment, many college students experience mental health difficulties. More than 1 in 5 felt overwhelming anxiety in the 12 months prior to the survey. In addition, 18 percent felt overwhelming anger, and nearly 17 percent felt so depressed they couldn’t function. About half found their academic responsibilities to be “traumatic or very difficult to handle.”
Despite this, most students — even those who experience major mental health issues — go on to graduate and live long, healthy lives. Many kids figure it out on their own. Some do it with the help of their friends or trusted faculty or staff. Almost all of them will rely on their parents in some measure.
In order to help, parents first have to know whether something is wrong, and identifying problems that deserve attention can be tricky. That’s because change can often be the first sign of a problem, and college is all about change. Your kid will learn new things, challenge your beliefs, go through cosmetic changes and likely date someone you do not like. While uncomfortable, these changes are nothing to worry about. However, some changes can signal real trouble.
[See: How College Students Can Avoid Getting Sick.]
First, notice changes in daily, life-sustaining functions, including eating or sleeping much more or less than usual. In addition, look for misuse of alcohol and drugs — even those that have been prescribed. If you cannot observe these directly, look for signs such as fatigue, difficulty concentrating or irritability.
Also, take note of these changes in social behaviors:
— Not talking as frequently or as openly with you
— Having problems making or keeping friends or romantic partners
— Not attending classes, getting poor grades or having other academic problems
— Posting concerning things to social media
— Talking about leaving campus and coming home, or about not returning to campus after a break
Heed also these behavioral signs that could indicate your child may be having difficulty with thoughts or feelings:
— Showing a lack of interest or pleasure in things that used to be exciting or engaging
— Frequently talking about being sad, nervous, afraid, angry or lonely
— Being more sad, frustrated, angry or nervous than warranted
— Having trouble concentrating or making decisions
— Having trouble coping with stress or setbacks
No single change should alarm you, unless it puts your child’s health in immediate danger — such as drug or alcohol abuse or suicidal thoughts or feelings. Instead, be on the lookout for combinations of factors occurring over the course of a week or two; the more of them you see, the more concerned you should be.
[See: Apps to Mind Your Mental Health.]
If Your Child Needs Help
If you see a problem, there are several approaches you can take to address it. The best thing is for kids to seek help themselves. Doing so will help your kid become a self-reliant adult. That said, really great parents know how to plant ideas that kids think are their own.
The next best approach is to work collaboratively with your student to make an appointment with campus mental health services. It’s still important in this case for your kid to call and make the appointment.
As a last resort, you can reach out yourself to get help for your child. College psychological, counseling and health centers take calls from concerned parents. Staff will listen to you and follow up on reports of threats to health or safety. However, this is not ideal, since effective treatment relies on a trusting relationship between the person receiving treatment and the professional providing it; and it’s hard to establish that trust if your child doesn’t take initiative to seek help. It’s important to make sure the numbers for campus health services, campus mental health services and campus police are saved in your kid’s phone before she steps foot on campus. In the off chance the university or college doesn’t provide health and mental health services, research outside providers and save that contact information.
Lastly, be aware of suicide risk — not only to protect your kid, but to help his peers who may be in real trouble. Though still uncommon, data from the National College Health Assessment show that about 1 percent of college students will attempt suicide in any given year. So make sure your child knows how to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) and to contact the Crisis Text Line (by texting HELLO to 741741) if the need arises. Also, take special care in the wake of a suicide or suicide attempt by a person your kid knows well, loves, respects or idolizes to ensure your child is OK. If you see any combination of the following signs, contact campus mental health services or campus police immediately:
— Talking or posting about not being able to handle life, school or pain anymore
— Talking about wanting revenge or to hurt others
— Almost total social isolation
— Talking or posting about wanting to die or plans to commit suicide
— Gathering means to commit suicide.
[See: 9 Things to Do or Say When a Loved One Talks About Taking Their Life.]
Remember: most children do fine in college, despite the challenges some face. You are a good parent, and even better for knowing what to watch for and how to deal with trouble. As a result of your efforts, your child will be well-equipped to address mental health challenges — should they arise — and to develop into a happy, healthy, well-adjusted adult.
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How Parents Can Identify Mental Health Problems in Their College Kids originally appeared on usnews.com
