If you ask many retirees what their life is like, they will probably tell you that they are as busy as ever. Every day is full of errands, shopping, household chores, yard work, TV and movies, club meetings and all sorts of other things. Their calendars are filled with events, appointments and get-togethers.
[See: 12 Ways Retirees Spend Their Newfound Free Time.]
After you retire and you no longer have to go into work every day, it seems like everything else expands, multiplies and rushes in to consume the time you used to work. You may wonder how you ever had time to work and still get everything else done.
Of course, staying busy certainly beats being bored and having nothing to do. But after a year or two has passed and you settle into your new normal routine, a sense of discontentment may emerge. It’s subtle at first, lurking just beneath the surface. You will begin to wonder if this is all there is, and if this is what you spent decades of your life working for. You’re busy, and most of it is fun or at least pleasant, but something seems to be missing.
What’s missing is fulfillment. That may come as a surprise. You may never have imagined that is something you would need to be concerned about after you retire. Perhaps you thought retirement was supposed to be endless days of leisure, pleasure and relaxation. That may be fun and therapeutic for the first few months after you stop working, but it will ultimately become boring and unfulfilling.
Human nature is such that we aren’t meant to be fulfilled by constant pleasure. While it’s healthy and satisfying to allow yourself some time for leisure and relaxation, you still need to feel like you have a purpose for your life. Pleasure is fun; fulfillment is rewarding. Of course, the best activities are both fun and rewarding.
[See: 10 Retirement Rites of Passage.]
Retirement offers you the best opportunity of your lifetime to find fulfillment by doing what matters most to you. Hopefully, you found purpose and fulfillment in your career. But your career fulfillment was limited by what you could do that would earn an income. After you retire, you can pursue whatever brings you fulfillment without regard to whether someone will pay you to do it.
Fulfillment may come from expressing your thoughts by writing or speaking. It may come from expressing your creativity through art or music. You could help others by volunteering for a service organization, a museum, a school or your church. It may come from exploring and discovering new places. Perhaps you feel most alive when you’re connecting with nature by hiking, gardening, strolling along a beach or watching a beautiful sunset. Maybe you’re most happy when you are spending time with good friends and loved ones. Fulfillment may come from simply relaxing with a good book, listening to your favorite music, visiting a museum or watching a movie or play.
Perhaps you have been conditioned by several decades of work that you must be productive. After you retire, it may be difficult to reprogram yourself to believe that you don’t always have to be productive. Activities that bring you fulfillment don’t have to be productive. They can be, but that’s not required.
If you are a parent or your career has been focused on helping others, you may still feel like your time must be spent helping others. Of course, it’s wonderful to do things for others. But it’s also good to do things just for you. You worked hard during your career for someone else. Now it’s time to focus on you. You’ve earned it.
If you feel that your life is busy but not fulfilling, now would be a good time to step back and examine what’s working for you, what isn’t and what’s missing. Find a quiet time and a place where you can be free from distraction. Make three lists labeled “start doing”, “stop doing” and “keep doing”.
[See: 10 Classic (and Unique) Retirement Gift Ideas.]
Think about everything you do during a typical day and a typical week, and decide whether each item is something you wish to stop doing or keep doing. Don’t think in terms of what you should do. Think about what you want to do. Then think about what’s missing from your life. Try to remember what you have done earlier in your life that brought you fulfillment. Think about what you truly value and what matters most to you. Add a few of these things to your “start doing” list.
After you are retired, you don’t have work assignments to complete, deadlines to meet, quotas to satisfy or accomplishments to collect for your annual review. Your goal now is to be happy living the life you want to live. That may require a significant mindset change from how you have lived for most of your life. The greatest gift that retirement offers is the freedom to live your life on your terms.
Dave Hughes is the founder of Retire Fabulously.
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Is Your Retirement Fulfilling or Just Busy? originally appeared on usnews.com
