If you’re a mom of multiples, you probably remember the day you found out you were pregnant with twins, triplets or more. I think that day will always be seared into my memory because it was so unexpected. (I definitely had a few choice words that I shouted at the ultrasound tech!)
I think what was so shocking about the whole thing was just wondering what we were going to do , how we were going to afford two children when we only planned on one and how our lives were going to change.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend a few nights crying in the shower worrying about everything, but my twins are turning one in just a few days and we survived! Plus, I’ve come to learn a few things about managing money when you’re a mom of multiples that helped me get through the past year without going broke. Here are four of them:
You Don’t Need Two of Everything
Of course you’ll need two car seats if you’re bringing both of your babies someplace in the car, but you actually don’t need two activity centers, two play mats or two versions of every toy on the planet. Many moms don’t even use two cribs at first (although I did) so consider that many of these extras can be added as time goes on and don’t all need to be in your house in the very beginning.
My children have doubles of a lot of toys, but really what they want most is the exact toy their twin is holding, even if they have the exact same thing in their own lap!
We certainly bought a few extras of things, like extra bottles and gender-specific pajamas because I have one boy and one girl, but for the most part we kept a lot of the “baby stuff” to a minimum. We never bought baby swings or extra bouncers. We just had a handful of items that we used every day, and we made it through the first year just fine.
You Do Need an Emergency Fund
I know it’s easier said than done, but having multiples is so unpredictable. For example, although my husband and I saved up a sizeable baby fund before our twins arrived, the fact that they both had lengthy NICU stays pretty much wiped us out. It’s taken us almost a year to get the fund back to 50 percent of where it was.
We all hope to avoid health emergencies, but they’re always a possibility. Prepare your finances now for an uncertain future. You might even need an emergency babysitter or an emergency night nanny when things get tough. Keep all of this in mind as you go along your parenting journey, and know that each phase is short, even though the nights are long.
Budget for More Than You Think
I remember the day I had to start supplementing with formula. I had done so great with breastfeeding and thought I could produce enough for both kids. Eventually, they outpaced me and I had to supplement. It wouldn’t have been a problem except both kids developed severe reflux and needed specialty formula. It cost double the amount of regular formula and was definitely a knock to the budget.
So, even if things are going well, expect the unexpected. You never know when you’re going to need an extra pack of diapers because both babies get a stomach bug or if you’re going to need some special product for a particular problem your babies have.
Time Versus Money
When you have multiples, you have less time to spend with each of your children individually. You can’t always pick up two or three crying babies at once. Often, one baby has to wait while you tend to the other one. Time is precious and time alone is even more precious.
Value your time and protect your time. If you cut back cable so you can afford a housekeeper, cheers to you! Decide what you value most and if you’d rather spend time with your children instead of scrubbing toilets, find a way to make it happen. They are only little for so long. Most people can find some wiggle room in their budget if they get a less expensive car, sell some unnecessary items and cut back on food spending. Take a look at yours and see if there are some places you can cut back.
Overall, I believe having multiples is an incredibly special experience. It doesn’t feel like it in the beginning because things get so crazy, but once you hit the nine to ten month mark, your twins start to interact and “talk” to each other and you start to witness some truly amazing moments.
I love it when my kids crawl around the house together or look at the same book next to each other. It was tough in the beginning and hard to imagine those moments in the early days. However, what the good moments taught me is that it really is about spending time with your kids and being with them, not having the most expensive baby clothes or the latest gadgets. I’d rather save my money, be a minimalist parent and only pay for a few toys or books if it means we get to enjoy other things.
I know it’s not easy, but if you manage your money in the right way for your multiples, you won’t have to stress about your finances because you’ll know you’ve taken care of them.
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Tips for Managing Money for Moms of Multiples originally appeared on usnews.com
