Mandy Len Catron’s recent essay in The New York Times, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” got me thinking: What deserves love, but is the hardest thing to fall in love with? I believe I found it. The least sexy thing you could fall in love with is your finances.
It’s easy to stick your head in the sand when it comes to personal finance, even when you know you shouldn’t. I do, and it’s especially embarrassing as I studied economics and finance at Princeton University and am part of the founding team of GuideVine.com, a website that helps consumers find financial advisors. So I challenged myself, in true Catron-style, to come up with 36 questions that could help me get more comfortable with my personal finances or, dare I say, actually fall in love them.
In the same way falling in love with a stranger requires vulnerability, the 36 questions below aim to confront our most basic financial fears and truths. Admittedly, some are a bit tongue-in-cheek, but if you respond to them honestly, who knows, you might learn to stop worrying and start to love your finances.
Set I
1. How many times do you check your bank statement in a month? How often do you click away in a mild panic?
2. Do you have a budget? When is the last time you met that budget?
3. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? What would it cost to make that happen tomorrow?
4. What’s your salary? Now what’s your ideal salary?
5. When do you buy stocks: When the market’s down? Whenever you can afford them? Whenever that annoying co-worker reminds you he bought Apple at $70?
6. How diversified is your investment portfolio?
7. Would you rather keep your money in a shoebox or invest in the notoriously volatile shoebox industry?
8. What’s the most fun, frivolous thing you’ve ever bought? With interest, how many years of your great-grandchild’s college education could that have paid for? Was it worth it?
9. If you knew a $10 cocktail you just bought would be worth $1,400 when you retire in a few decades, would you save it in your fridge or drink it now?
10. If you could have dinner with any personal finance guru (think: Warren Buffet or Timothy Geithner) who would it be?
11. What percentage do you typically tip? How much of that is dictated by whom you’re dining with and how much you want to impress him or her?
12. What was the dollar-to-memory ratio of your prom? Your best friend’s bachelor or bachelorette party? Your wedding?
Set II
13. Do you have a secret fantasy about getting rich from something you’re not qualified to do in real life? How often do you think about that instead of doing actual work?
14. Would you like to have more money? How much more?
15. When did you last cry about something that could have been fixed with more money?
16. Did that make you feel more sad or less sad?
17. Do you wish your extended family had more or less money?
18. Do you ever feel guilty for being materialistic and buying into consumerism?
19. If everything at Nordstrom were 80 percent off, would you drive to the mall right now?
20. Would you rather post every purchase you make on Facebook for the rest of your life or live on a self-sustaining commune where there is no currency and everyone is equal?
21. How much do you currently have saved for retirement?
22. How much debt do you have? Do you have a goal to pay it off in a certain number of years?
23. Grab a friend and take four minutes each to tell your entire financial life stories — shifts in income, major expenditures, windfalls, splurges, etc. — in as much detail as possible.
24. Do you still respect each other?
Set III
25. If you were a stock, would you buy, sell or hold yourself?
26. Would you rather hold a ton of stocks or be physically held as a person?
27. Would you stop working now if you could? Name your price.
28. Do you consider not having debt to be a financial asset?
29. If you had to email your bank statement to five people you know, who would they be and what would you write in the message?
30. If you could see the bank statements of any five people you know, who would you pick and why? In general, do you like the people from question 30 more or less than the people from question 29?
31. How early in a relationship would you share what your income is? Get a joint bank account? Take or give a loan?
32. Open up your wallet. Are there parts you’re neglecting? What would it say to you if it could flap its leather lips?
33. When was the last time you stared in the mirror and shouted your net worth at your face? Try it. Then precede the number with “I am worth more than…” How does that feel?
34. Are these questions too personal? Are you uncomfortable right now?
35. If you knew you had only one year left to live, how much of your money would you spend? How much would you leave for loved ones? Give to philanthropy?
36. What’s your dream retirement scenario: Live humbly, retire early? Or live big, sleep when dead?
In Catron’s story, she recommends looking your partner in the eye for four minutes to cement the love. Instead, look your finances in the eye for four minutes without looking away — check your bank statement, access your portfolio, open TurboTax — and let whatever realizations, motivations or moments of serenity occur.
Ask yourself: What is one action you can take away from all this to show some love to your finances? Some actions may be to:
— Set a monthly budget using Mint.com.
— Get a checkup on your investment portfolio from a financial advisor.
— Download an app like BillGuard to monitor and prevent fraud on your credit card.
— Check your FICO score and credit reports.
— Read personal finance books to boost your knowledge.
— Pay yourself first by allocating at least 10 percent of every paycheck to savings.
— Have a conversation with your spouse about your financial goals.
Remember that personal finance, like any type of long-term loving relationship, can be beautiful — but it may not always be easy. Good relationships, including our relationships with money, take work, but the rewards are more than worth it.
More from U.S. News
50 Ways to Improve Your Finances in 2015
Your Month-to-Month Guide to Savings
10 Ideas for Dating on a Budget
To Fall in Love With Your Finances, Do This originally appeared on usnews.com
