WASHINGTON — Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you one of my favorite NFL recaps of the year: The Midseason Review. We get to look back on the first half of the year, celebrate the best of the best and the worst of the worst, and I start setting the stage for my inevitable moonwalk off some of my bad preseason predictions.
Since Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris are busy, I’ll just open the envelopes and hand out these bad boys myself:
Most Surprising Team: Arizona Cardinals
As I told you last week, it’s statistically inconceivable that Arizona is this good. Given the injuries they’ve had to contend with (Darnell Dockett and John Abraham both out for the season), the division they play in, and quality wins over San Francisco and Dallas, they get the slight edge over the Cowboys.
Honorable mention: Dallas Cowboys, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns
Most Disappointing Team: New Orleans Saints
So far, my preseason pick to win the Super Bowl has done nothing but make me regret that choice. The defense was supposed to be better and it’s not. Even the typically reliable Drew Brees is throwing Cutler-esque killer picks all of a sudden. To be fair, the NFC as a whole is pretty much upside down (if during preseason you had the Lions, Cardinals, and Cowboys as the other division leaders at the midway point of the season, I’m calling BS) but New Orleans has way too much talent to be middling at 4-4 in a mediocre (and equally disappointing) division.
Honorable mention: the rest of the NFC South, Seattle Seahawks
Most Surprising Player: DeMarco Murray
Murray has gone from an underutilized afterthought to being the author of one of the most prolific seasons for a running back. He’s already set a league record for most 100-yard games to start a season (8) and is currently on pace to become just the eighth player in NFL history to rush for over 2,000 yards. Dallas fans have to hope that A) Murray can last the season (he’s never played a full 16 game slate) and B) Jason Garrett doesn’t go back to inexplicably ignoring the run.
Honorable mention: Keenan Robinson, Larry Donnell
Most Disappointing Player: Adrian Peterson
This isn’t just for football reasons (fantasy or real life). Even Joe Jackson stopped taking a switch to his kids eventually so I’m not sure why Peterson is still doing so. But I digress…even when he played, Peterson tallied just 75 yards on 21 carries, so it’s not like his legal problems cut short a productive season. Both on and off the field, Peterson has a lot to do to make amends.
Honorable mention: Eli Manning, Doug Martin, Drew Brees
Watkins
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Sammy Watkins has been electrifying in Buffalo. (AP Photo/Bill Wippert)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Sammy Watkins
This is really a two-man race. Watkins gets the edge over Kelvin Benjamin because I’ve watched him singlehandedly win Buffalo a game or two, thus keeping the Bills north of the .500 mark. Both Watkins and Benjamin are on track to go over 1,000 receiving yards and 10 TDs, but the former is doing it with mediocre QBs throwing him the ball rather than Cam Newton. Advantage: Sammy.
Honorable mention: Kelvin Benjamin
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Anthony Barr
For the second time this year, I present to you a Biggie player (which is just a shorter, cooler way of me saying If You Don’t Know Now You Know without calling another dude Juicy). Barr didn’t get nearly the draft hype Jadeveon Clowney did, but he’s having the far greater impact to date. Barr leads the Vikings with 3 fumble recoveries — one of which went for the game-winning TD in an overtime win in Tampa — and his 4 sacks lead all NFL rookies. Barring (pun intended) a late season swoon, this is his award to lose.
Honorable mention: C.J. Mosley, Kyle Fuller
Offensive Player of the Year: Ben Roethlisberger
I know, I know…this probably looks like I’m a prisoner of the moment, but hear me out: Big Ben has thrown 22 TDs and only 3 picks this season. Only Andrew Luck has thrown for more yards and first downs than Roethlisberger. That’s all despite getting sacked 23 times–which is more than twice as many times as Peyton Manning has been sacked. Ben is carrying a Steeler offense that suddenly looks championship good and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has another 5 or 6 TD day or two this season.
Honorable mention: DeMarco Murray, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers
Defensive Player of the Year: J.J. Watt
No non-quarterback has the level of impact on a football game that J.J. Watt has. He’s got 8.5 sacks, 3 fumble recoveries, and an interception. That’s not to mention a blocked kick, 7 passes defensed, and two touchdowns. I’ll be stunned if he doesn’t win this award unanimously.
Honorable mention: Have you seen Watt this year? I refuse to sully his amazing season by suggesting there’s even another option.
Arians
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Bruce Arians has the Arizona Cardinals flying high in first place. (AP Photo/Rick Scuteri)
Coach of the Year: Bruce Arians
For a guy who was considered “retired” after his stint in Pittsburgh, few have been as good as Arians. Between his time as interim coach in Indianapolis and the main man in Arizona, Arians is 26-10. That’s amazing considering anyone who sees Andrew Luck or Ben Roethlisberger in the desert is experiencing a mirage. If Arians keeps this up, his Kangol hats are going to be synonymous with Tom Landry’s fedora.
Honorable mention: Jim Caldwell, Doug Marrone
Comeback Player of the Year: Rolando McClain
This dude’s career was as good as dead just a few months ago. Thanks to a bunch of injuries and a general lack of overall talent, he’s emerged as a main reason for the Cowboys’ unexpected resurgence.
Honorable mention: Arian Foster, Steve Smith
MVP: J.J. Watt
If ever there’s a movement for a defensive player to win MVP, it’s this year. Watt is dominant and given the Texans’ QB situation (cue up the “Houston, we have a problem” jokes), it’s fair to suggest he and Arian Foster are the main reasons why the Texans are competitive.
Honorable mention: Peyton Manning, DeMarco Murray, Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger
That concludes the awards portion of the ceremony. Now for the after party:
Saints 28
Panthers 10
You know the sad part of this game? This was the first road victory of the season for New Orleans — and if they simply stay undefeated at home, they’ll probably win this mediocre division with a 9-7 record.
Redskins 29
Vikings 26
The ‘Skins’ day started with a protest, a bus crash, and reports that RG3’s return is somehow a bad thing. So is anyone surprised the ‘Skins blew a 10-point first half lead because they couldn’t stop Teddy Bridgewater and Matt Asiata?
Bucs 17
Browns 22
If I’m a top NFL draft prospect, I’m not buying a whole lot of warm clothing this winter. Between Tampa and Jacksonville, it’s starting to look like the top two picks are going to be playing in Florida.
Cardinals 28
Cowboys 17
This is not how Dallas wanted to nominate Tony Romo for MVP…
Eagles 31
Texans 21
Philly may have won the game, but they lost so much more: losing DeMeco Ryans for the year and facing an extended absence for Nick Foles might just put their season in jeopardy.
Jets 10
Chiefs 24
Gang Green is on an 8-game losing streak for the first time since the Rich Kotite Era. Yeah, Rex. That’s the company you’re keeping.
But take heart, Jets fans. Rest assured that the only plight worse than yours is actually being a New York Jet.
Jaguars 23
Bengals 33
Cincinnati is undefeated in their last 14 home games and Jacksonville is off to a 1-8 start for the third straight year. So basically, you didn’t have to be Andrew Lloyd Webber to script this production of Cats.
Chargers 0
Dolphins 37
Ryan Tannehill is getting coached up by Dan Marino. Reshad Jones is backing up his trash talk. No wonder the Bolts haven’t won in Miami since that epic divisional round playoff game in 1981.
Rams 13
49ers 10
How screwy is the NFC West? St. Louis is in last place, playing with a third- string QB, yet has the best record within the division (2-1).
Broncos 21
Patriots 43
Peyton Manning may own all the NFL passing records, but Tom Brady owns Peyton Manning.
And if you want to know how New England is going to fare in a given week, look no further than Bill Belichick’s wardrobe.
Raiders 24
Seahawks 30
Boy, if Seattle is struggling to put away a winless team at home, it’s hard to feel good about their chances of making the playoffs, let alone repeating as Super Bowl champs.
Ravens 23
Steelers 43
In the last two weeks, Pittsburgh has scored 94 points, Ben Roethlisberger set an NFL record by throwing a total of 12 touchdown passes, and Antonio Brown has become just the second player in league history to string together 9 straight games with at least 5 catches for 90 yards. How ironic the Steeler offense has a coming out party on the same night Mean Joe Greene gets his jersey retired.
Colts 40
Giants 24
Believe it or not, this is the first time Andrew Luck has won on a Monday night. If he keeps playing like this (and playing against NFC East patsies) it won’t be his last.
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