Mike’s Take: Not quite ready for the Revolution

What happened is that in the 1996 presidential election, three people in our neighborhood voted for Ross Perot.

These people were — maybe still are — our neighbors. Yet we don’t know who they are or why they did it. But they did it. I’m clear because I moved there after the election. But somebody (in fact, three somebodies) voted for the independent millionaire.

In the intervening years, most of us have come out of it. We’ve shaken our collective guilt. We realize it is a free country, and that people can vote as they please. Still, these are our neighbors. They walk among us.

No one knows for sure, but some suspect three elderly male cousins. They live together and mutter a lot. One of them always carries a rake. None of them belong to the co-op. I’m not making any judgments here, just stating facts.

The point is we had regained our balance, until a new threat appeared.

We now face another crisis of collective conscience. Only this time, I too am under suspicion.

What happened is this: A group of us were standing in the street trying to untangle our dogs’ leashes after they had done the obligatory ID check. As we were sorting Wheatens from Terriers, a large American car (always suspicious) came down the street. It was driven by a white male, about 40.

He saw us, slowed and waved from inside the car. We all waved back and smiled. Obviously he knew some or one of us, so he deserved a collective hail-fellow-well-met response. As I said, we are family. Then, as he drove by, we got the shock of our lives.

On his car (Did I mention it was an American car?), he had a bumper sticker which said: RON PAUL.

There was a collective gasp. One person fainted. The dogs, sensing there was trouble, all stopped in mid-sniff. Then the car was gone.

Where did it come from? Where did it go? Will he be back? Who does he know in the neighborhood?

Is it safe?

Word, of course, has spread. The gang at the market talked of nothing else for days. One of our senior members says he saw the Ron Paul-mobile a few days later. Maybe. But he also claims that in 1974 and again two years ago, he was beamed up to a flying saucer and probed by aliens before they released him. He has since started a fledgling amnesty-for-undocumented Venusians program. It has yet to catch on.

But what if it really happened? Not the saucer probing thing (actually, he says it was more of a cigar-shaped vehicle but calls it a “saucer” because that’s what people are more comfortable with), but rather the second Ron Paul bumper sticker car sighting. Could he be back?

We can only wait. And for those of that persuasion, pray.

The problem is that suspicion is starting to cause tension in the neighborhood. Many are convinced that somebody we know and trust either knows him or is related to him. Would somebody like that just drive through a neighborhood and wave at people he didn’t know?

Meantime, although we abhor violence, some are suggesting it is time to circle our electric cars and be prepared to make a fight of it.

Mike has spent the majority of his life inside the Beltway and has an interesting and humorous perspective that he will share every Wednesday. Mike has spent his career covering the federal government for the Washington Post and now for Federal News Radio.