We can almost smell March, right?
For some schools (specifically, the 68 that make the NCAA Tournament, and especially those who overperform or equal expectations) it’s a magical month. For those that suffer March meltdowns in the conference tournaments or big dance, it can be “meh.” And for those that are stumbling down the stretch, March can be misery.
Locally, we’ve seen a winter like none other, with local schools sinking under the .500 mark and needing March miracles to make the Big Dance. Sometimes, the season crumbles even despite one’s best efforts.
What always meets expectations is the annual arrival of Girl Scout cookies — and to take our minds off the struggles of the locals, the 2022 Official Rankings are in. As has been the case in previous years, descriptions are taken from the organization’s website, while just like 2021 in this space the rankings are “completely subjective and 100% accurate.”
12: Lemon-Ups. “Crispy lemon cookies baked with inspiring messages.” In a perfect world, the message would inspire me to order a better cookie, like the Lemonades.
11: Toast-Yay! “Yummy toast-shaped cookies full of French toast flavor and dipped in delicious icing.” Beware the unnecessary exclamation point in the title. I’m hoping for a maple pancake cookie to take its place next year.
10: Toffee-tastic. “Rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy toffee bits.” And it’s gluten-free. It also crumbles more than any of the other cookies. Too close to home this winter.
9: Trefoils. “Traditional shortbread cookies baked in the shape of the iconic Girl Scout trefoil.” How the mighty have fallen. They still have a fan base that recalls when they were No. 1 back in the day (sound like anybody in the D.C. area?) and can’t understand not only why they’re not favored in the First Round, let alone why they didn’t get a bye into the Quarterfinals.
8: Girl Scout S’mores. “Crunchy graham sandwich cookies with chocolate and marshmallow filling.” Completely capable of pulling an upset given the right matchup, but it’s “too neat and tidy.” S’mores are at their best when made over a backyard fire, collapsing in your hand with the chocolate and marshmallow staining your clothes. Not that it’s ever happened.
7: Caramel Chocolate Chip. “Chewy cookies with rich caramel, semisweet chocolate chips, and a hint of sea salt.” Chocolate and caramel are a 1-2 punch that can dream of the Final Four. Also gluten-free. Did the committee purposely set up a 7 vs. 10 matchup of the gluten-free offerings? Just like next month’s tournament, the field is strictly by the numbers. Wink-wink.
6: Adventurefuls. “Indulgent brownie-inspired cookies topped with caramel flavored crème with a hint of sea salt.” Just like Maryland under Gary Williams in 1994 or Georgetown under John Thompson Jr. in 1975, this first-timer may be the start of something special. But this delicious offering also has the longest description, making me think there may be some shot-clock violations.
5: Lemonades. “Savory, refreshing shortbread cookies topped with a tangy lemon-flavored icing.” It’s as though they’ve accepted transfers from Trefoils and Lemon-Ups. And in 2022 you don’t have to sit out a year. Completely capable of reaching the Final Four.
4: Do-si-dos. “Crunchy oatmeal sandwich cookies with peanut butter filling.” Defense and rebounding with offensive precision. Think VCU’s stickiness while creating havoc in your mouth. But quick whistles-especially against a finesse flavor like Lemonades-could end their run next month.
3: Samoas. “Crisp cookies with caramel, coconut, and chocolaty stripes.” Like Virginia’s deliberate offense and pack-line defense, this cookie is about excellent execution. But it’s not a cookie built for a shootout, as in wolfing down a box within 15 minutes. Not that I’ve ever done that.
2: Thin Mints. “Crisp, chocolate cookies dipped in a delicious mint chocolaty coating.” The ultimate fast-break flavor. I’ve vacuumed a sleeve at least once and enjoyed every second. But if the transition game isn’t working, can it get shots in the half-court offense?
1: Tagalongs. “Crispy cookies layered with peanut butter and covered with a chocolaty coating.” I’ve savored and sprinted through these red boxes over the years. It takes a special cookie that can match up with the fast-break Thin Mints and the slowdown Samoas. May your boxes last until next month when you’re filling out your brackets.
This week’s starting five:
Up top: Gonzaga stays No. 1 in this week’s Associated Press Top 25 while staying No. 1 on my ballot. Losses by Auburn and Kentucky create a bit of a shuffle as I moved Arizona and Kansas to numbers two and three. This past weekend, the NCAA released its top 16 seeds, which for the most part mirrors the rankings. Of those top 16 (not reflecting games after last Friday), four are from the Big 12 while three hail from the Big Ten. This week’s difficult omissions on my ballot: Texas, Alabama, Iowa, St. Mary’s, Wyoming and Belmont.
Going inside: George Washington began the month with four wins in six games before running into a buzz saw by the name of Richmond Tuesday night in Foggy Bottom. George Washington never led in the 84-71 loss as the Spiders hit 11 of their first 13 shots and made their first five three-pointers. Bad news for a team that entered the night ranking second in the Atlantic 10 at defending the three. After clawing their way back to within 39-35 at the half, G.W. saw the visitors make 14 of their first 21 attempts after intermission. “Defensively, we just had too many breakdowns, not being able to keep the ball in front, not able to stop the ball from scoring in the low post, and obviously not able to defend the three-point line,” Coach Jamion Christian said. “You can’t be a good team if you’re giving up layups in the half-court, and then giving up wide-open threes.” The Colonials visit George Mason (Patriots have lost five of seven) Sunday before wrapping up the regular season with games against sub-. 500 Duquesne and Fordham.
On the perimeter: About those Spiders (18-10, 9-6 Atlantic 10) — Coach Chris Mooney’s team is on the verge of a third-straight winning conference season for the first time since he guided the program to consecutive NCAA Tournament appearances in 2010 and 2011. Richmond is also built for March: they lead the A-10 in turnover margin as well as assist-to-turnover ratio, and they’ll be one of the more experienced teams coming to Capital One Arena for the upcoming Conference Tournament. Their top seven scorers on this year’s unit played prominent roles in the 2019-20 team that went 24-7 and was on the NCAA bubble before COVID-19 canceled the Atlantic 10 and NCAA Tournaments. Leading scorer Tyler Burton is a junior, top defensive player Jacob Gilyard is a fifth-year senior, and big man Grant Golden is in his sixth season as a Spider (one redshirt year and one COVID season exemption). And while Richmond can still capture the vaunted double-bye by finishing fourth in the conference, they’ll have to earn their way there with games against three schools currently ahead of them in the standings: Saint Louis, Dayton and St. Bonaventure. Sounds like a job for an experienced crew.
Who’s open: Thursday Georgetown (6-20, 0-15 Big East) perhaps has its last, best chance to avoid a winless conference season when they host Lowly DePaul (12-14, 3-13, and Lowly isn’t a legal part of its name, although it should be). The Blue Demons have dropped four-straight but three of those losses have been one-possession affairs. They’re also led by Javon Freeman-Liberty, whose 20.6 points per game would lead the conference if he’d played just one more of his team’s games. The Hoyas issue all season has been defense: They rank last in stopping the three, defensive field goal percentage, and points per game.
Last Shot: Sunday, Maryland faces No. 22 Ohio State, and while the Terps have plenty on hand at the present (trying to get out of the Dreaded First Round of the Big Ten Tournament) and future (attempting to find the best fit for their next head coach) part of the focus is the past. The 2002 National Championship team will be honored at Xfinity Center, and the Terrapin faithful will salute Gary Williams and his team that took it all. They’ll also think about the golden age of 1994-2004 that saw the program reach 11 straight NCAA Tournaments, seven Sweet Sixteens and two Final Fours. Not to mention, seven top-three ACC regular season finishes and the 2004 Tournament title. That’s the ceiling of expectations Mark Turgeon coached toward during his tenure and those will be the possibilities that will be presented to whomever takes over this program.
