WASHINGTON — Jill Kargman would rather drink the worst red wine in history than sip on the best white wine in the world. And rosé? Pass.
“Yeah, I know. Every mother is going to turn on me now. But it’s like Hamptons Gatorade; I can’t touch the stuff,” she said.
Kargman is the writer and the star of Bravo’s hit TV show “Odd Mom Out.” Unlike others on the network, “Odd Mom Out” is scripted, not reality — but for Kargman, it’s not that far off.
In the show, Kargman plays a satirical version of herself: A spirited mom of three living in Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Unlike others in the enclave, “Jill” doesn’t feel the need to conform to a life of white-wine spritzers and charity lunches. She prefers greasy diner food and dance parties in her underwear.
The real-life Jill is pretty similar. Kargman lives in the Upper East Side with her husband and three children — “I’m not in the fashionable part of the Upper East Side … I’m really, like, on the fringes,” she clarified — and doesn’t accept the neighborhood’s version of normal.
“I’m well aware that it’s like this fairy dust land and they’re not living in the real world,” she said.
Her address, however, is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to finding new material.
Before Kargman ever stepped in front of the camera, the Yale graduate spent her career behind a computer, writing books such as “Momzilla,” “Arm Candy,” “The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund” and many more. And this fall, she’s adding a new one to the list with “Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave.”
In the book — a hilarious compendium of essays, lists, doodles and rants — Kargman exposes her dark sense of humor, which is something she inherited from her father, Arie Kopelman, the former chairman of Chanel. It’s also something she has passed on to her children.
In fact, the title of the book comes directly from her daughter.
“She said, ‘I don’t understand why people bring flowers to graves, because they die — it’s so depressing. And when you die, I’m going to sprinkle glitter on your grave, because you’re fabulous and it’s really hard to clean up,’” Kargman explained.
That somewhat morbid way of thinking is what gets Kargman through life and helps her keep things in perspective.
“It’s a weapon; it’s armor. I feel like things don’t bother me as much because I know that I’m quick and I have zingers in my arsenal,” she said.
“This is all going to be over in 60 years, so when we’re pushing daisies, we can’t sweat the small s**t, and that is something that I just carry with me every day.”
“Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave” shares many similarities with “Odd Mom Out.” Kargman wages war on Manhattan’s private school admission system in the chapter titled “Kingergauntlet,” and talks about the grueling application process for landing an exclusive family burial plot in Nantucket (let’s just say a recommendation letter from Secretary of State John Kerry sealed the deal) — both of these storylines made the show.
But there are aspects of the book everyone can identify with, even those below East 50th and outside of New York, altogether — like how terrible Disney World is for adults, and why things just seem to taste better on long, thin spoons.
If you find yourself in agreement with those two things, wait until you read what Kargman thinks should happen to the composer of the 1-877-KARS4KIDS jingle.
“Often, if you feel something, there’s a little chorus,” Kargman said about the rants in her book. “People always think they connect over shared passions, but you can also bond over shared loathing.”
More than anything, Kargman’s new book reinforces that it’s OK to be yourself, no matter what society dictates. That strong sense of self is something that used to come easy to Kargman. However, she admits she lost it once she had kids, due to others’ judgments and her insecurities.
But now, it’s finally back.
“Someone shook the Etch A Sketch and it went away, so I’ve had to combat-crawl back there,” she said. “I think you just have to shut out the white noise. You can’t listen to anybody. People make pronouncements about the way things should be or what worked for them.”
Kargman’s best piece of advice: Do your own thing and do what works best for you. And flowers on grave sites are so basic.
WTOP’s rapid-fire interview with Jill Kargman:
Author or actress?
Uptown or downtown?
Red or white?
Cold-brew coffee or iced?
Leather or Lycra?
Boots or booties?
Twitter or Instagram?
New Yorker or The New York Times?
The New York Times
Bergdorfs or Barneys?
Vanessa or Brooke?
Andy Cohen or Captain Lee?
Watch the trailer for “Odd Mom Out,” now in its second season: