I am a morning person. For me, a quiet house with 20 minutes to meditate followed by a hot cup of coffee is the perfect way to start my day. Since my husband and I have two young children who are even earlier risers, my mornings start around 4:30 a.m. in order to make my “magic time” happen.
That habit, however, wasn’t formed overnight. For many years, I tried to meditate. I read about the benefits. I listened as friends claimed it was changing their lives. But every time I tried to start a meditation practice, I failed — until I changed my approach.
If you’ve ever tried to begin a new habit, but struggled to make it a reality, you may have chalked it up to a lack of willpower or motivation. But it may be something else entirely: Like me, you might not have set yourself up for success. Next time, follow these four steps to settle into a habit that lasts:
1. Tie the new habit to something you do consistently.
One problem with starting a new habit is trying to insert it into your day without much attention to how your day currently operates. You may say you’ll start exercising and then try to carve out a time — sometime — each day to work out. It may be the morning one day, the afternoon another day or evenings another day if that’s the only time the schedule allows. This plan is fine for someone who has an established history of exercising and is committed to making it happen no matter what, but for others first beginning a new habit, consistency is king. The focus should be on cueing your mind to do the habit in the first place.
Think about your typical day. What are the things you do consistently without fail? Is there somewhere in that routine you can begin to add the new habit? Finding a place within the parameters of what already works in your life will lead to better success than trying to change your routine to fit the new habit. Meditation worked best for me first thing in the morning because I did it as soon as I woke up, and that time was already set aside as interruption-free.
Identify something in your daily routine that you can use to trigger the new habit. You want as little time between the trigger and the new habit as possible. For me, waking up was the cue to meditate. I’ve had clients pair waking up with exercise, taking fish oil supplements with brushing their teeth and drinking water with the commute to work. Create a “When I X, I do Y” scenario that works for you.
2. Create a routine that supports the new habit.
Once you’ve identified a trigger (say, waking up or brushing your teeth), try to create a routine to support the habit. If you plan to exercise as soon as you wake up, lay out your workout clothes and shoes the night before. That way, you don’t have to dig through your drawers or closet to find what you need in the morning.
One reason I finally adopted my meditation practice successfully was because I created a routine every evening. As I finished cleaning up the dinner dishes, I prepared and programmed the coffee to start brewing in the morning. I also set out a coffee cup and an empty glass for water and set my alarm on my phone. It sounds meaningless, but this routine did a few important things:
— It reaffirmed in my mind that this is what I do — I wake up early and enjoy coffee.
— It connected the series of behaviors I wanted to do (wake up, drink a glass of water, meditate, have a cup of coffee).
— It put all of the pieces in place so I had no excuses (coffee made, things set out to make it happen).
— It was a nighttime reminder to go to bed early since 4:30 a.m. comes quickly.
3. Create a reward for yourself.
Another reason my routine worked is because I love a quiet house and a cup of coffee. Each morning I meditated, I rewarded myself with that cup of joe. Maybe you share the same love for coffee and your reward is the same. Maybe it’s reading the newspaper. It doesn’t matter what it is, simply pick something that is meaningful to you. Ideally, find a way to reward yourself daily to reinforce the new behavior. Just be sure to choose one that doesn’t work against your ultimate goal. Hitting up the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant each morning might feel like a treat, but it’s counterproductive to exercising each day.
4. Keep trying. One fail does not mean a lost cause.
No matter how consistent you try to be, life will intervene from time to time. While some people may be able to adopt a habit in 21 days, others may take 200 days. In fact, 2009 research out of University College London in the UK found that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit — a lot longer than originally thought. How quickly a habit is formed depends on the complexity of the new behavior and what you do to support it. Drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning may be a relatively simple habit to adopt, while going for a daily run may be harder.
No matter what your new routine is, how long it takes to become a habit isn’t important. What matters is taking consistent action each day. Eventually, you’ll no longer have to remember to remember to do the habit at all.
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How to Make Any Healthy Habit Stick originally appeared on usnews.com
