Which candy is best? Let’s settle this DC-style — with a dubious poll

The list of candidates, while not exhaustive, is extensive and includes both the heavy hitters and some delicious upstarts. Comedian and candy thought leader Greg Behrendt was more than happy to size up a few. (Thinkstock/WTOP)
The list of candidates, while not exhaustive, is extensive and includes both the heavy hitters and some delicious upstarts. Comedian and candy thought leader Greg Behrendt was more than happy to size up a few. (Thinkstock/WTOP) (Thinkstock/WTOP)
Snickers Behrendt called it a solid “working-class” candy bar. “It’s Springsteen,” he said. (Getty Images)  
Reese's Brand signage is seen during a celebration event at Texas Children's Hospital on Thursday March 31, 2011 in Houston, Texas. During the event representatives from the Reese's Brand and Kroger presented a $10,000 donation to the hospital. (Aaron M. Sprecher/AP Images for Reese's Brand)
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Behrendt: “Just sort of perfect.” (Aaron M. Sprecher/AP Images for Reese’s Brand) (AP Images for Reese's Brand/Aaron M. Sprecher)
Hershey's Krackel candy bar is photographed in Harrisburg, Pa., on Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2008.  Krackel is one of Hershey's candy products that contains a substitute that replaces some or all of the cocoa butter, a key ingredient in chocolate. While Hershey insists that consumer focus groups like the new flavor of the products, some critics say Hershey is sacrificing flavor in order to offset the rising cost of cocoa beans. Because of federal food standards, products that contain a substitute cannot be called "chocolate." Instead, Hershey must use words like "chocolatey" or "made with chocolate" on the packaging.(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)
Hershey’s Krackel Behrendt: “Good. They’ll get you in a pinch, but they’re not Nestle’s Crunch.” (Associated Press/Carolyn Kaster) (ASSOCIATED PRESS/Carolyn Kaster)
Filled frame of candy corn perfect for the Halloween holiday.
Candy Corn Behrendt: “I like anything that reminds you that the holiday is coming. I probably have five of them and then go, ‘I can’t have anymore now.’ ” (Thinkstock) (Getty Images/iStockphoto/tab1962)
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The list of candidates, while not exhaustive, is extensive and includes both the heavy hitters and some delicious upstarts. Comedian and candy thought leader Greg Behrendt was more than happy to size up a few. (Thinkstock/WTOP)
Reese's Brand signage is seen during a celebration event at Texas Children's Hospital on Thursday March 31, 2011 in Houston, Texas. During the event representatives from the Reese's Brand and Kroger presented a $10,000 donation to the hospital. (Aaron M. Sprecher/AP Images for Reese's Brand)
Hershey's Krackel candy bar is photographed in Harrisburg, Pa., on Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2008.  Krackel is one of Hershey's candy products that contains a substitute that replaces some or all of the cocoa butter, a key ingredient in chocolate. While Hershey insists that consumer focus groups like the new flavor of the products, some critics say Hershey is sacrificing flavor in order to offset the rising cost of cocoa beans. Because of federal food standards, products that contain a substitute cannot be called "chocolate." Instead, Hershey must use words like "chocolatey" or "made with chocolate" on the packaging.(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)
Filled frame of candy corn perfect for the Halloween holiday.

WASHINGTON — We adults are really just grown-up kids.

We freak out when, say, the hometown team forces a Game 5, or when the new “Star Wars” trailer hits, or when we hear a favorite song on the radio mid-commute … or when that Halloween candy shows up on store shelves.

Aside from nicer clothes and a mortgage, the only thing that separates adults from childhood are a few years, and these random concoctions of sugar and fat seem to make those early years feel even closer.

They remind us of animated Saturday mornings, of aimless afternoon bike rides with our best friends, of evenings trick-or-treating as a superhero.

Even in this era of bills, conference calls and epic disagreement (shout-out to social media), a love of candy is the one thing on which we all still agree. It unifies all tribes: Democrats and Republicans, Caps fans and Pens fans, yogis and CrossFitters, etc.

Because in childhood, such sweet treats were an essential part of our childhood fabric, said Greg Behrendt, comedian, author, podcaster and America’s foremost candy thought leader.

“It was just a thing that was, and you sort of revered it,” he said.

Agreed, and as everybody knows, nothing brings more joy than a 100 Grand bar.

You’re shaking your head.

Snickers, you say? Milky Way? M & M’s? Gummi Bears?

Seriously?

OK. Forget all that talk about unity. Things quickly splintered here.

2007—2016 sales data from bulk candy seller CandyStore.com bear out these regional factions: M & M’s preside over the District; Snickers has been the big seller in Virginia, and Milky Way tops Maryland sales.

Don’t boo — vote

First, we’ll agree to disagree. Then we’ll settle this in that most D.C. of ways — a dubious opinion poll.

Behold: The WTOP Halloween Candy Crush-Off 2017, a scientifically unscientific yet officially official survey that settles, once and for all, which confections rule D.C.-area palates.

Cast your vote below in three divisions: chocolate, non-chocolate and overall. Polls will be open until Thursday, Oct. 26, at midnight. Results will be posted Oct. 30.

So vote early, vote often, brush your teeth … and don’t touch that bag of fun-size Twix in the pantry. It’s for the trick-or-treaters.


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