In the past year alone, we’ve seen films about the “making of” countless products, including the BlackBerry, Tetris, Air Jordans, Beanie Babies and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
Now, Jerry Seinfeld spoofs that entire concept in “Unfrosted: The Pop Tart Story,” streaming on Netflix starting this Friday.
Set in the aptly-named Battle Creek, Michigan in 1963, the film follows the ridiculously untrue story of cereal company Kellogg’s competing with rival company Post to create a hit breakfast pastry for American toasters.
After reuniting with his “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry David last month on the series finale of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” Jerry Seinfeld stars as Bob Cabana, the fictional inventor of Pop-Tarts. In reality, Doc Thompson of Kellogg’s brought them to shelves to preempt William Post’s not-ready-for-market product Country Squares.
Jerry also co-writes the screenplay with his “Bee Movie” colleague Barry Marder and fellow “Seinfeld” alumni Spike Feresten, who penned the episodes “The Soup Nazi” and “The Little Kicks,” and Andy Robin, who wrote the episodes “The Fatigues” and “The Junior Mint.” That means we have this group to thank for Elaine Benes’ dance, Frank Costanza’s outbursts and quotable lines like “No soup for you!” and “They’re very refreshing!”
While “Seinfeld” remains my all-time favorite sitcom, “Unfrosted” is obviously not their best work. Granted, it’s hard to quantify quality when this movie humors itself as a Mel Brooks-style spoof in the vein of “Spaceballs.” Like “History of the World: Part 1,” there’s even a reference to Pop-Tarts being the greatest rectangles since Moses’ Ten Commandments, recalling the episode where Jerry accused Bryan Cranston of converting to Judaism purely for the jokes. “And that offends you as a Jewish person?” “No, it offends me as a comedian!”
In “Unfrosted,” Jerry banters with a deep bench of supporting stars, but I won’t spoil them here. Nearly every scene features another famous face in a cameo. I’ll settle for listing the big time celebrities shown in the trailer: Amy Schumer as Marjorie Post, Jim Gaffigan as Edsel Kellogg III and Melissa McCarthy as Donna Stankowski, a NASA scientist who joins Kellogg’s with a crew recalling the Mercury 7 astronauts in a space-race spoof.
Also in the trailer is Hugh Grant as Thurl Ravenscroft (“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”), the booming voice of Frosted Flakes for over five decades. Grant comically wears a Tony the Tiger suit alongside other mascots from Toucan Sam to the Corn Flakes rooster. Kyle Mooney, Mikey Day and Drew Tarver show up as Snap, Crackle and Pop, and while many of their scenes fall flat, their ceremonial flag-folding at a funeral made me laugh out loud.
It all builds to a climatic Jan. 6 spoof that looks like a riot at a cosplay convention with Tony the Tiger dressed like the QAnon Shaman (I refuse the say the guy’s real name because he’s going to jail for storming the U.S. Capitol). Here, Fred Armisen plays Mike Puntz trying to “certify” the pastry deal just like former Vice President Mike Pence certifying the results of 2020 election. It would be funny if it weren’t still so dangerous of a threat to happen again.
Such a finale might confuse extreme-right and extreme-left viewers who heard Seinfeld’s recent statement about political correctness ruining comedy. They’ll ask, “How can an anti-woke comedian also criticize Jan. 6? Aren’t all of our public figures supposed to follow a specific set of ideals in lockstep with one liberal or conservative agenda?” Sigh, in real life, people are nuanced with varying beliefs — and we should treat each other as such.
I have a feeling Jerry’s recent statements will tank this film’s Rotten Tomatoes score by critics looking to punish him. The film isn’t as bad as the low rating it’s about to receive, but it’s also not a comedy classic. Check it out if you want to stay home and watch a silly sendup of product-based movies. The only problem is that “Barbie” did it best last summer, so you might want to instead go see Ryan Gosling in “The Fall Guy.” I can’t wait to see it tonight.
In the end, “Unfrosted” might leave you hungry for more substance, just like Kenny Bania arguing that soup isn’t a meal (depends if there’s crackers). This comedy feast isn’t a big salad. Some jokes as yummy like Kenny Rogers’ Roasters; others taste like they were prepared in Kramer’s shower, swirling down a garbage-disposal drain. Might as well make the origin story of Rusty’s Beefarino. All I can say is these Pop-Tarts are making me thirsty!
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