WASHINGTON — The 1933 classic “King Kong” was not only a groundbreaking achievement in stop-motion animation, it gave us pop culture staples for all time, from the famous T-Rex battle to the heartbreaking Empire State Building finale.
The movie was such a smash that it sparked countless imitations: “Son of Kong” (1933), “Mighty Joe Young” (1949), “King Kong vs. Godzilla” (1962), “King Kong Escapes” (1967), “King of Kong Island” (1968), “Queen Kong” (1976), “A*P*E” (1976) and “King Kong Lives” (1986). Most memorable were the remakes in 1976 and 2005, the former with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange, the latter with Jack Black and Naomi Watts as Peter Jackson directed Andy Serkis (Gollum) as a motion-capture Kong.
Now, the Eighth Wonder of the World returns in “Kong: Skull Island,” a heck of a good time with a movie theater audience, but missing the soul of the original. Don’t expect the Empire State; this one unfolds strictly on Kong’s territory for a kickass, skull-crushing monster movie — no more, no less.
Set against the backdrop of the Vietnam War in 1973, crackpot monster-hunter Bill Randa (John Goodman) insists that “monsters are real,” existing on an uncharted Pacific locale, dubbed “Skull Island” for its skull-shaped geography and hidden from the outside world by perpetual storm clouds.
Randa hires former British officer James Conrad (Tom Hiddleston) to lead an expedition alongside hawkish helicopter squadron leader Lieutenant Colonel Preston Packard (Samuel L. Jackson) and anti-war photographer Mason Weaver (Brie Larson), who have different motives for attending.
Upon arriving at the mysterious island, the group encounters a number of stunning creatures, namely the mythic giant ape King Kong, who is worshiped by the natives as a way of deterring other more horrific beasts known as Skull Crawlers, who lurk underground as long as Kong can keep them at bay.
Let’s be completely up front: This is a total paycheck movie for the cast under the old mantra “do one for the art, one for the money.” Oscar winner Brie Larson (“Room”) and Golden Globe winner Tom Hiddleston (“The Night Manager”) aren’t given much to do besides run in slow motion against green screens. Likewise, supporting actors Tian Jing (“The Great Wall”) and Corey Hawkins (“Straight Outta Compton”) fade to the background as they cede valuable screen time to the impressive CGI beasts.
Amid the chaos of helpless human lemmings getting stomped, chomped, impaled and ripped to shreds, the real stars are the collection of mutant apes, lizards, birds and spiders competing to see who gets the last bite. Still, three of our most reliable actors are able to chew their own scenery.
The first is John Goodman, whose casting is a meta nod to his role in “Argo” (2012), where he played ’70s Hollywood costumer John Chambers who designed the monkey suits for “Planet of the Apes” (1968). It’s only fitting that Goodman be the one intruding on the giant ape’s stomping grounds.
Even better is the prolific Samuel L. Jackson, who gets the biggest “hero shots” of anyone with eye-to-eye showdowns staring down the beast. The audience will howl at his laugh-out-loud zingers with a perfectly-timed “B*tch please!” There’s even nostalgia as he quotes his “hold onto your butts” line from Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park” (1993), the genre film that came closest to the “Kong” mantle.
While Jeff Goldblum stole the show in that film — “Whatta they got in there, King Kong?” — John C. Reilly steals the show here with a comedic combo of Dennis Hopper’s acid-trip gonzo and Marlon Brando’s insane Col. Kurtz in “Apocalypse Now” (1979). After crash-landing during World War II, Reilly’s Hank Marlow has become loopy after spending the past 20 years on the island. Luckily for us, his wide-eyed trailer warning, “You shouldn’t have come here,” is one of many great lines for Reilly.
Such moments are proof that the film is at its best when it’s not taking itself too seriously. Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts (“The Kings of Summer”) routinely cuts to clever images amid the chaos: from a helicopter to a dragonfly; from Kong’s chomp on a victim to a soldier biting a sandwich; or from aerial action to delicious detail shots of a Richard Nixon bobblehead rattling on the helicopter dashboard.
This Watergate era adds a fun layer, unfolding in the aftermath of Nixon’s “peace with honor” speech. Not only does the period provide a built-in soundtrack — CCR, David Bowie, Jefferson Airplane, The Hollies, The Chambers Brothers — it allows for wink-wink political exchanges. At one point, a soldier insists, “We didn’t lose the war, we chose not to continue.” At another point, Goodman says, “Mark my words, there will never be a more screwed-up time in Washington.” The joke’s on us, my friends.
But who are we kidding? This movie isn’t about political statements. “Kong: Skull Island” is an event movie, plain and simple. With a mega budget of $190 million — the cost of 42 “Get Outs” or 127 “Moonlights” — this is a creature feature meant for 3D/IMAX. As the giant ape rises on his two feet, pounding his chest and towering over audiences, we witness an A-movie budget with a B-movie soul.
It was enough for a kid down the row from me to sit on the edge of his seat with jaw dropped, flashing a thumbs up to the projectionist at the end of each monster battle. If you can tap into your inner child when you used to smash action figures together with reckless abandon, you’ll have an absolute blast.
If, however, you admire the craft screenwriting, you’ll be disappointed that the script doesn’t aspire to anything greater. It’s sad to watch acclaimed actors waste talent on thinly-written roles with zero character growth, speaking dialogue filled with exposition that doesn’t give audiences enough credit.
Upon seeing a giant graveyard, Larson says, “I’ve seen enough mass graves to know that this is one” (Umm, we can tell by the giant pile of bones). Later, Hiddleston finds the remains of one of the Skull Crawlers’ victims and says, “That was Chapman” (Dude, we know, we just saw the damn dog tags).
As the climax arrives, Jing reminds Hawkins, “We were supposed to leave at sunrise,” followed by more audience hand-holding: “It’s sunrise” (Alright, we get it, we can see the sun in the distance). Finally, as the giant villain rises from the ground, Reilly explains, “That’s the big one” (Ya think?).
I know these are small things, but they’re precisely what keeps a fun movie from being a great one.
So while the 1933 original can be summed up by its poetic final line — “It wasn’t the airplanes, it was beauty that killed the beast” — this 2017 remake is best summed up by one gloriously zany line:
“It sounds like a bird, but it’s a f**kin’ ant.”
